Everybody loves Christmas. That’s a fact. At least if you watch how it is portrayed by the media and subscribe to the collective mania of ‘preparing for the big day’………. Of course, the reality is that many of us find Christmas difficult and for some it can feel unbearable. We have the statistics for this…
A foundational principle of depth therapy is that until mourned, the past is never truly past. It lives on in the present in our relationships shaping how we see others, how we see ourselves and in how others see us. In the consulting room, this process plays out much the same way as it does…
Dissociation is a term used to describe the mental process of ‘getting rid of’ painful or traumatic feelings by banishing them to a ‘nothing’ place within – for good and for bad. The paradox of dissociation is that in the process of such banishment, far from being shut down, traumatic experience can take on a…
The experience of loss and grief from bereavement are often explored in psychotherapy. Finding a way to cope and move forward, when the weight of emotion feels intense. The knowledge that life ends and how we go through the associated grief is something that is hard to prepare for. Much is written about loss and…
Ageing and death are two topics we find difficult to think and talk about. Do you remember when you first realised you were a grown up? Major events like the loss of a parent signal a change in the social pecking order, and how society or the world sees us. There are moments that symbolise…
Most psychotherapists have specific experience in one or multiple fields and one of mine happens to be death. From 2012 to 2016, I worked at a large UK hospice as part of the clinical team supporting both patients and relatives. The work was confronting, humbling and hugely varied and it taught me a few things…
Loving and longing can be frequently found in song lyrics nestled up alongside each other as though they are somehow related, however, I would suggest that psychologically they are very different and perhaps opposites, especially in the context of relationships. To understand longing, we need to understand desire. We can only desire that which we…
Everybody loves Christmas. That’s a fact. At least if you watch how it is portrayed by the media and subscribe to the collective mania of ‘preparing for the big day’………. Of course, the reality is that many of us find Christmas difficult and for some it can feel unbearable. We have the statistics for this…
Breaking up with someone is hard to do. Often we feel a degree of ambivalence about our own emotions and our instinct is to both find the easiest and fastest way of ‘just ending it’. Whilst this may seem seductive, the easiest and fastest way is often more likely to cause conflict and to leave…
Just as what goes up must come down, so whatever begins must end. Each of us comes to deal with this existential reality imposed on our own lives and all the living beings that we care for. As truly relational creatures we humans encounter the inescapable fact of death in those who die before us…
The start of a new year feels like a good time to make resolutions to change your life. Cut down on drinking, learn something new, be more efficient, be kinder, be more sociable or get fit. Gym memberships regularly peak in January, increasing by 10%-20% but how many of those new memberships are used? According…
As a boy I was fascinated by space travel. I remember being glued to the television set with awe as the Space Shuttle blasted off into space back in the early 80s – I was born after the epic Apollo programme came to an end and was just the right age to appreciate the engineering…