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Client or Patient; Patient or Client – Does it Matter?

A topic of certain difference, and at times discussion in the field of psychotherapy, is whether we refer to those we treat as ‘clients’ or ‘patients’.

Why might this matter?

On the face of it, it should arguably matter little to someone attending psychotherapy, as to what the therapist calls them on paper; in the room they will be referred to by name and thus, to some extent, the nomenclature used is academic.

However, psychotherapy is about how the psychotherapist thinks about the person who engages their services and this thinking will inevitably influence how the psychotherapist refers to those who come to see them and vice versa.

Why such different terms?

Psychotherapy was born out of psycho-analysis. And in both classical and modern psychoanalysis, as well as in the language of many psychoanalytical psychotherapists, the term patient is commonly used.

Historically, this is derived from Freud’s use of the term, whereby he situated psycho-analysis firmly in the medical field.

There is an additional term that is used in analysis which is ‘analysand’ – the person who goes for analysis. Whilst it bridges the gap between client and patient, I find it somewhat clunky and it is not a valid term to use in psychotherapy.

Who is the expert?

Much progress has been made in the field of psychotherapy to shift from a ‘blank-screen’ model on the part of the psychotherapist, to a relational approach – meaning broadly that the psychotherapist plays an active role in co-constructing the relationship and works within the context of the relationship to bring about change.

Many in the more humanistic field argue that one of the goals should be to bring about as much equality between the therapists and ‘client’, so as to eliminate the power imbalance.

Whilst a noble endeavour, I think this is naïve, as firstly, we are are there in an expert capacity and those of us who are trained and work at depth, understand that we carry an enormous burden of responsibility to those who engage our services. We are therefore, not equals.

Secondly, depth psychotherapy, using a psychoanalytic model, works with what the client or patient ‘projects’ onto us – something we refer to as transference. In the transference, we inevitably represent one of the parents for the client and it is arguable that the treatment process in psychotherapy is one of re-parenting.

Parents and children are never equal

I believe that roles come with firm boundaries – many of which are frustrating. For example, it is a parent’s role to always be a parent to their child. This role will evolve and change over time and eventually there will be two adults in the relationship, however, this does not imply that there are two equals. Part of the frustration of being a parent (and the child of a parent) is in acknowledging the firm boundary, meaning that a parent should not become a friend to their child, no mater the age of that child. This does not mean that this does not happen in some families, however, I view this as unhelpful.

The therapeutic relationship between a psychotherapist and their client or patient is sacrosanct – as should be the relationship between parent and child. We are there in an important, and at times, critical capacity and co-create with those who come to see us a deep intimate relationship that must be alive, messy, creative, conflictual, loving and hateful – but always and forever boundaried.

Boundaries frustrate but facilitate grieving

Over the past decade of being a UKCP registered psychotherapist, I have seen a fair few people come and go from my practice. Most have stayed for years and, I believe, done some very good and important work.

As in life, the relationships we form with those whom we see week after week matter to us and I have grieved with the end of the work and having to say ‘good-bye’ when treatment ended.

The grieving is necessary as, irrespective of how much we have come to matter to each other, I shall always be in the role of psychotherapist for all of my former patients. Most will never cross my threshold again, however, it is vital that they can hold me in mind in the role they assigned me and that I don’t deviate from that position and ‘befriend’ them. Whilst this may feel seductive to both sides (as it does for a parent and child), the boundary enables the relationship to work and continue working in the capacity it must for the patient.

On why I use the term ‘patient’

I have shown my hand in the previous paragraphs in using the nomenclature of ‘patient’ and shall now explain why I have, over time, shifted in my way of thinking.

Patients come to me because they are in distress. I am there as an expert, not to tell them how to live their lives, but to help them understand how and why they live their lives they way they do and offer them a stable and secure relationship through which to bring about change.

Psychotherapy is about change – it is not about enabling existing behaviour and this needs to be agreed between therapist and patient.

I view the term ‘client’ as representing a grey area when it comes to boundaries – with clients we can ‘have a chat’ and maybe take the relationship outside of the context in which it began. It also seems to me to be very transactional. This is a personal view and not an accusation of anyone who has a preference for this term.

My work as a psychotherapist is to ‘treat’ my patients. I am accountable for understanding their minds and helping them find a way through their distress. If they knew how to do this, they would not need me.

Lastly, rather than being a distancing term, I view ‘patient’ in this context of one towards which I can show the upmost respect. It does not imply, to me, that I am better than them, but it does show that I am willing to take on the responsibility for my part in their treatment and that the boundary will always hold. For me it is ultimately a term of ‘love’, in the way Freud meant it.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer

How to minimise Christmas stress if you are hosting

Can couples counselling fix a relationship?

How to get a mental health diagnosis

What is psychotherapy?

How to improve mental health

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Is starting psychotherapy a good New Year’s Resolution?

Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly.  The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh.

Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions for change slipping away. There are plenty of good reasons why New Year’s resolutions don’t work. We are often too unspecific in what would constitute change, and it can be hard to make change on our own.

Psychotherapy is about change.  However, the start of all change comes from inside. To make change, we need to understand ourselves and accept why we have made the decisions we have. Nothing is random.

Psychotherapy is first and foremost about learning to have a relationship with ourselves and to learn to hold ourselves in mind, often in ways others failed to do when we were growing up. When we hold ourselves in mind, we can objectively evaluate if something is helpful or in our best interests.

We learn to hold ourselves in mind through others holding us in mind. This is one of the main roles of a psychotherapist. Holding a client in mind is far broader and deeper than simply making notes and remembering what they told us. It is about having a relationship with them and helping them to understand their blind spots, their relational patterns to themselves and to others. Helping them work through this is the therapeutic encounter.

Psychotherapy is often hard. Keeping to a weekly day and time when we meet with our psychotherapist can feel like a slog. Unlike a New Year’s resolution, the process is held relationally. Your psychotherapist makes the time and space available to hold you in mind and expects you to show up for the weekly dialogue. Even if you do not attend, your therapist is there to hold you in mind.

Perhaps the question is not so much whether psychotherapy is a good New Year’s resolution. Rather, it may be whether you are committed to having a deeper and more meaningful relationship with yourself, and through this, learning to hold yourself better in mind. The latter will lead to long-lasting changes on a profound level which may or may not include more frequent trips to the gym!

Happy New Year from all of us at Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy.

Mark Vahrmeyer is a UKCP-registered psychotherapist working in private practice in Hove and Lewes, East Sussex. He is trained in relational psychotherapy and uses an integrative approach of psychodynamic, attachment and body psychotherapy to facilitate change with clients.

Further Reading

New Year Reflections

How psychotherapy works

What is psychotherapy?

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What are the Benefits of Counselling and Psychotherapy?

Counselling and Psychotherapy can help with a range of issues that we may find difficult overcoming by talking to friends and family. There is a significant difference in talking to a skilled professional outside of your social and family circle, someone who is formally trained and experienced in what they do and understands how to work with psychological issues. I won’t go into the differences between counselling and psychotherapy, as this has been addressed in a separate blog. Rather I will focus on what makes talking therapies so beneficial.

Providing a safe environment

Anyone going through a crisis or wanting to discuss sensitive issues needs to feel heard, validated and understood. The therapy space is one which is designed to create containment, consistency, and safety. Weekly sessions usually at the same day and time, a calm and relaxing setting without distractions, an hour dedicated to you, and a professional who creates an environment conducive of trust and safety are all important aspects of the “talking cure”. These elements comprise what we call the “therapeutic frame”, which underpins and supports the work we do as therapists.

Someone who listens but not just listens

In my opinion, listening skills are highly underestimated. Listening isn’t just about listening, but also about making sure that the other feels heard and understood. Although this is considered a basic and essential skill in any talking therapy, listening takes presence of mind, body, and spirit. It is not as easy as it seems. The last thing anyone wants is a distracted therapist or one who seems they don’t listen or understand what you are telling them. For some it can bring up painful past and present experiences of lack of care, it can also convey a lack of interest and touch on previous abandoning and rejecting experiences. So, to get the basics right is very important!

Getting stuck in

Once you have a place to come where you feel comfortable, at a set time each week, with a person you feel you can trust and speak to without being judged, then the work can begin.

“The work” can be compared to an exploration, excavation, unpicking and un-knotting of the different strands of the issue or issues that you came to talk about and get help with.

This can be sophisticated work of great skill, but also messy and clunky at times. There is much uncertainty about what will be revealed and the paths that you will walk together.

The therapist’s job is to help you keep on track, but also allow for new pathways to be discovered. This is what makes the work interesting, fascinating, and rewarding for both parties. This relationship can be one of collaboration, creation, and deconstruction. None of this is necessarily smooth or easy but knowing ourselves is always ultimately rewarding.

The benefits

All the above is designed to support trust building, lessening isolation, creating space and safety amongst turbulent and uncertain situations, helping individuals regain control over their lives, feel and process difficult feelings, make sense of confusing situations and build or rebuild better relationships with self and others. Other benefits include: increased self-awareness, self-development, psychological and emotional strength and resilience, finding more meaning and purpose in life, making positive changes, and better communication amongst many other things.

On our website you can find more information about our counselling and psychotherapy services and how to contact our team.

Sam Jahara is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist and Clinical Superviser and Executive Coach. She works with individuals and couples in Hove and  Lewes.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

What makes us choose our career paths?

Antidotes to coercive, controlling and narcissistic behaviour

An in-depth approach to leadership coaching

Demystifying mental health

Women and Anger

by Leave a Comment

Why is Mental Health Important?

Mental Health has become a hot topic in the last few years. We often hear about it in the media, and because of more public awareness about mental health issues, more employers are adopting mental health policies and offering employees more support. Whilst mental health used to be seen as something related to mental illness, nowadays people are talking more about the importance of mental health as a part of their overall wellbeing, such as exercise and healthy eating.

But what is mental health?

Mental health is dependent on a certain degree of emotional, psychological, and social equilibrium. It impacts thinking, feeling and behaviour and therefore our capacity to handle stress, maintain good relationships and make decisions, amongst other things.

Good mental health is a vital aspect of us being able to function well in the world, hence it’s importance. There are environmental, social and psychological factors that can affect our mental state, such as:
– Ongoing real or perceived threat or danger to one’s life and livelihood
– Traumatic experiences/ events, recent or historical
– A physical or mental health diagnosis/ symptoms
– Bereavement and loss
– Breakdown in relationship(s)
– Major life change or life crisis
– Financial problems/ stressors
– Work stress
– Loneliness and isolation
– Discrimination and bullying
– Poor sleep and/ or diet
– Sedentary lifestyle/ lack of exercise
– Lack of light and/ or fresh air
– Noise and pollution

It is only human to have experienced one or several of the list above, therefore mental health is of relevance to everyone.

How to Look After your Mental Health?

Environmental and lifestyle factors:
Many people underestimate the impact of sleep, diet, exercise and sunlight on their mental wellbeing. With the increase in the use of screens and less time spent outdoors, especially in the case of children, these very basic factors are not being attended to, with often drastic impact on quality of life. Poor diet, poor sleep and lack of exercise and natural light are interacting factors. Lack of natural light and fresh air affects our sleep, as does the consumption of certain foods such as sugar and caffeine. Exercise can help improve sleep quality and lead us to want to eat better. Good sleep quality helps combat sugar cravings and when we feel rested need to consume less caffeine, etc. Good habits feed other good habits – it’s a cycle.

Social factors:
We all live in society and in communities within society. A sense of belonging paired with a sense of purpose and meaning are significant factors in our sense of mental wellbeing. We all need social connections and to feel a part of something. This became very apparent during the Covid pandemic when we saw many people’s mental health decline because of social isolation. Good relationships and good support systems make us feel safer and cared
about. Helping others, sharing interests, exchanging ideas and working towards common goals helps create a positive social loop where we feel that our life is meaningful and our contributions matter.

Psychological factors:
Most of us have gone through a crisis, a loss or even suffered significant traumatic event(s). Many of us have also experienced challenges growing up in dysfunctional families or under challenging circumstances. These issues when not attended to psychologically, can easily become cumulative and affect our lives in negative ways, often leading to depression or chronic anxiety. Feeling alone with our problems further exacerbates these issues, creating
a negative cycle that is self-perpetuating.

How Psychotherapy can Help

Psychotherapy can help you get and remain mentally healthy in several ways. A skilled therapist will help you address psychological issues such as the ones listed above. Therapy can be very effective in helping people deal with past traumas, life crisis, relationship issues and process loss, amongst many other things. In psychotherapy you can also explore how certain behaviours are affecting your mental health and how to change or improve them.

Sometimes bad habits tell us something about how we were looked after, and therefore how we end looking after ourselves. Finally, it can also help us get to a better place within ourselves and therefore make better decisions. Sometimes issues are multi-faceted, layered, and complex. Being able to distinguish, pick apart and navigate a seemingly hopeless situation is empowering and puts us back in control of our lives.

 

Sam Jahara is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Superviser and Tavistock Certified Executive Coach.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

What makes us choose our career paths?

Antidotes to coercive, controlling and narcissistic behaviour

An in-depth approach to leadership coaching

Demystifying mental health

Women and Anger

by Leave a Comment

How to get a Mental Health Diagnosis

The term ‘mental health’ is pretty broad and encompasses emotional and psychological health.

When people talk about mental health they are often referring to symptoms such as depression or anxiety but rarely do they mean psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia, for example. Therefore, the answer to how to go about getting a mental health diagnosis is – it depends.

It is possible to go to a GP in the UK and present with symptoms that fit the criteria for anxiety or depression and to receive a ‘diagnosis’ from this doctor. In turn they may ‘prescribe’ counselling or offer you medication such as anti-depressants.

However, receiving a mental health diagnosis is not the same as receiving a diagnosis for a physical disorder. Let me explain.

Nobody has seen a mind.

If you are unfortunate to break a bone due to a fall, it is safe to assume that unless you are encountering an incompetent doctor, you will receive the same diagnosis irrespective of which hospital you attend wherever in the world; a broken bone is exactly that.

When it comes to mental health, the criteria is different as we are really talking about the ‘health’ of the human mind (or in many cases the emotional system), and the problem is that nobody has ever seen a mind.

Most mental health diagnoses are therefore based on the presentation of ‘clusters’ or groups of symptoms that a patient experiences over time. A GP will consider your experiences and the duration over which you have experienced them and on that basis will offer you a ‘diagnosis’.

Whilst this may be helpful in order to access medication of brief counselling, it is unlikely to resolve matters. And bear in mind that most GP’s have had very little mental health training – generally only weeks, compared to the years of training around physical health.

A psychiatric diagnosis

If you have severe symptoms that quite possibly may include delusions, you may be referred to a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has specialised in ‘diagnosing’ psychiatric disorders and on the basis of a diagnosis you will likely receive medication and/ or psychotherapy.

Counselling and Psychotherapy

The parallel but distinct professions of counselling and psychotherapy are both related to mental health and approach treatment of mental health conditions through what is known as ‘the talking cure’. In reality the cure comes about far more through listening, rather than talking on the part of the clinician.

Whilst there is disagreement about the fundamental differences between counselling and psychotherapy – which I have previously written about here – a reasonable differentiation is that counselling is used to as a shorter term treatment working on a more superficial level.

Psychotherapy, as defined by the UKCP _United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy) involves a similar process to counselling but working with a clinician trained for a longer period of time who is crucially able to formulate, unlike counsellors.

Formulation is the word psychotherapists use to ‘diagnose’ but as we do not tend to work within the ‘medical model’ and recognise that mental health issues encompass both psychological as well as emotional issues, we use a different language and different models to the medical model in order to make sense of a person’s inner world.

Is psychotherapy about getting rid of symptoms?

Whilst most people presenting for psychotherapy simply wish to ‘feel better’, a large part of the process of therapy is to become curious about one’s symptoms in the context of the therapeutic relationship. Psychological or emotional symptoms, much like bodily symptoms, are often there to inform us of something important that needs attending to.

Psychotherapy is fundamentally about working to create a deeper relationship with oneself, through the relationship with the psychotherapist. And through this deeper relationship we can come to understand our symptoms better as signals that are telling us something about our life: often either about something in the past that has not been processed or worked through, or something about what we yearn for in the future.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer – 

How do I find the right psychotherapist?

Why do people get the birthday blues?

Is happiness the opposite of depression?

Are people with mental health problems violent?

Mental health problems in Brighton

by Leave a Comment

What is Psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy is a method of treating mental health issues through psychological, rather than medical means.

Known as ‘the talking cure’ a psychotherapist’s role is to work with patients or clients, generally on a minimum of a weekly basis, over a period of months or years.  The work takes place within what is called a ‘therapeutic relationship’, characterised by the psychotherapist listening and thinking carefully about the client’s experience and working with them to make sense of it.  Thus, whilst known as the talking cure, it could be more accurately described as the listening cure.

Psychotherapy developed from psycho-analysis, which is similar in nature, but involves multiple weekly sessions (up to five) and can often last for up to a decade.  Freud referred to (psycho) analysis as a ‘cure through love’ and this applies to psychotherapy in much the same way.  The relationship between psychotherapist and client is unique and one in which all the focus, attention and thought is about the client’s process.  The closest example to this type of relationship is between mother and child, or primary-caregiver and child, and it is often due to failings in this primary attachment relationship that clients seek out psychotherapy in later life.

Do I need to have a mental illness to go into therapy?

Whilst it is very common for people to seek out the assistance, support and expertise of a psychotherapy due to them feeling like they are in a crisis in their life, the crisis is often only the catalyst that brings a client into psychotherapy.  Indeed, it was once again Freud who said that psychotherapy (analysis) only begins once the patient’s crisis has passed.  What did he mean by this?

One of the goals of psychotherapy is to bring space and contemplation into a person’s life so that they feel less at the mercy of their emotions and more able to hold themselves in mind.  Once a crisis has passed, clients can often start to focus on using the therapeutic relationship and space to examine why they think and feel the way they do and to develop a construct or idea about who they would like to be.  Psychotherapy is thus about getting in touch with our appetite, or passions.

Whilst most people access psychotherapy due to an issue covered by the term ‘mental health’, most remain for months or years in order to learn to have a better relationship with themselves and others.

How does psychotherapy work?

Human beings are relational beings, meaning that we are, from the moment we are conceived, in relationship to another.  Relationships shape not only our worldview and our relationships to others in our life, but also shape our relationship to ourselves.

If we have learnt through early relationship(s) that others are unsafe and/or that we are not worthy of love then this shapes our worldview of all our relationships going forward.  If we have been wounded in relationship then it takes another (therapeutic) relationship to work through all the hurt and to discover a new way of relating through how we are related to.

What training do psychotherapists have?

In the UK, the terms of psychotherapist and counsellor are not legally protected meaning that virtually anybody can use these terms with impunity.

Whilst some clinicians use the terms of counsellor and psychotherapist interchangeably, the UKCP (United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy) is the largest professional body for psychotherapy clinicians and lays out its training and membership expectations for clinical psychotherapist very clearly.

Psychotherapists in the UK (who are UKCP members) train for a minimum of four years at post-graduate level, undergoing their own psychotherapy throughout this period, obtain at least 450 clinical hours of experience and undertake a mental health placement.  Most UKCP psychotherapists will therefore have a minimum of a Masters degree in the field.

What’s the difference between psychotherapy and counselling?

There is much disagreement about the differences between counselling and psychotherapy and this is something I have previously addressed here.  Fundamentally, psychotherapists are trained to work at a deeper level than counsellors and have been trained to formulate – our word for diagnose.

How do I find a psychotherapist?

Finding a psychotherapist can feel daunting.  Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a physical clinic comprised of a group of skilled clinicians offering psychotherapy across the greater Brighton and Hove area and Lewes.  You can use our search function to find a psychotherapist near you.

Alternatively, the UKCP holds a directory of all registered UK based psychotherapists which can be found here.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer – 

How to improve mental health

How do I find the right psychotherapist?

Why do people get the birthday blues?

Is happiness the opposite of depression?

Are people with mental health problems violent?

by Leave a Comment

How to Improve Mental Health

Mental health is constantly in the news and not a day goes by without an article, blog post or news piece on the topic.

The great contradiction is that whilst we know more about mental health now and how to manage it, the busy, chaotic and plugged-in world we live in does little to help our mental health. Nor is it often that clear what exactly is meant by the term ‘mental health’.

Mental health is a ‘catch-all’ phrase that encompasses our emotional, psychological and social wellbeing. It therefore includes our mind, our emotional system and our social world. It stands to reason that good mental health means attending to all three, but I would argue that there is a fourth – the body – which is intrinsically connected to good mental health.

When people refer to their mental health, what are they really saying?

As I write this article, the media will have us believe that mental health is currently under crisis in the UK. Waiting times to see a mental health practitioner are at an all time high, people are increasingly struggling to cope with high stress levels and many folks remain isolated or fearful for social contact following the numerous and lengthy Covid lockdowns.

Poor mental health can manifest in a range of symptoms from low level depression and anxiety through to diagnosable psychiatric illnesses. For most people concerned about their mental health, the latter is fortunately not very common and therefore we can think about how you can take responsibility for improving your mental health.

Steps you can take

Sleep is crucial to good mental health and it is no coincidence that many of us struggle with poor sleep which ever time can have a very detrimental impact on our mental health (as well as our physical health).

Establish a sleep routine and stick to it – going to bed at a set time and avoiding stimulants such as caffeine before bed can be very helpful. Another stimulant that you would do well to avoid is watching the news prior to bed – whilst informative, the news impacts significantly on our nervous system and can leave us feeling ‘activated’ exactly when we need to get to sleep.

Exercise is good for the body, but also the mind. Many folks are put off exercise as they see it as something that involves strenuous exercise in a gym, however, this need not be the case.

Exercise does not need to cost anything and can be a way of combining being in nature with moving the body. A brisk walk or sea swim (in the midst of this heatwave) are both good forms of exercise.

Eating sensibly is another activity associated with physical health but which can also have a significant impact on our mental wellbeing. Stimulants such as coffee and sugar impact on moods and with this can in turn impact on sleep patterns, so be aware of when you consume stimulants and avoid eating anything late into the evening.

Socialising is not only enjoyable but is also good for our mental health. Human beings are relational, meaning that we are born into relationship and require relationship(s) to develop. Even when we are alone, in a psychological sense we are in relationship to someone – we call this an internal object – and constitutes how we hold ourselves in mind and make the ‘best’ choices for ourselves.

The mind body connection

All of our emotions stem from the body. They start as sensations and we then notice them and group them into emotions; feelings are the words we use to describe emotions.

Each feeling, or set of emotions, has its own somatic (body) blueprint, which means to say that each feeling is made up of a unique set of sensations in the body. For example, anger, whilst ‘feeling’ different for everyone has the in-common body sensations of tight stomach, tight jaw, clenched or tightened fists and a narrowing of the eyes. Conversely, joy, is felt in the body as an openness and moving towards something or someone. Joy tends to bring a smile to our face and it is as if our whole body opens to receive more of what we are enjoying.

Everyone has a different shaped and sized body and everyone has a body that can perform different tasks depending on fitness, ability, age and (dis)ability. However, unless a person has a ‘good enough’ relationship with their body, it is simply not possible to have good mental health.

Hence why the body must be included in psychotherapy and feelings stemming from the body attended to.

Practicing gratitude towards your body for what it can do and how it looks after you, getting curious about what your body needs and wants and treating your body with respect, are all significant pathways to good mental health.

Talk to someone

When things get too much it can be good to talk and whilst a social and support network is important, some things need to be thought about with a mental health professional such as a psychotherapist.

A psychotherapist is someone who has trained at postgraduate level for a minimum of four years and undergone their own journey of analysis or psychotherapy throughout their training and ideally well beyond. In the UK, psychotherapists are registered with the UKCP who hold a directory of qualified clinicians or you can search for one using the search function on our own website.

People generally enter in psychotherapy because of a crisis of some sort in their life, however, they tend to stay because they find the therapeutic relationship so invaluable in not only improving their mental health but in developing an appetite for their lives. As Freud said, psychotherapy (analysis) begins after the crisis has passed.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer – 

How do I find the right psychotherapist?

Why do people get the birthday blues?

Is happiness the opposite of depression?

Are people with mental health problems violent?

Mental health problems in Brighton

by Leave a Comment

How do I find the right Psychotherapist?

Finding a psychotherapist can feel like a daunting task. For starters, the difference between a counsellor and psychotherapist may not immediately be apparent. Then there are the different modalities, or approaches to therapy. And lastly, there are the different professional bodies to make sense of.

The term ‘psychotherapist’, unlike ‘clinical psychologist’, is not a legally protected term in the UK. This means that there is very little to stop anyone claiming that they are a psychotherapist, without having undergone an accredited psychotherapy training (or indeed any training at all).

There is also, as of yet, no agreement across the different professional bodies as to what exactly constitutes a psychotherapist, which further muddies the water for anyone seeking psychotherapy.

If a client is wishing to go into therapy then my advice would be first and foremost to seek out a professional registered with either the UKCP or BACP and who can evidence significant clinical experience in the field.  Both of these professional bodies have helpful websites which enables users to search for clinicians based on location, as well as other criteria.

Once you have a list of accredited psychotherapists, you may wish to consider which approach, or modality, in which the clinicians in question have been trained. Whilst this may seem confusing, it is important to remember that research has shown that it is the quality of the therapeutic relationship combined with the approach, that leads to the most successful outcomes in therapy. Therefore, look for a clinician who is able to explain how they think and work in clear and understandable language – remember, it is their job to help you understand how they can assist you, rather than you needing to figure it out by wading through complex jargon yourself.

Many people make the decision to seek out a psychotherapist when in a crisis. Whilst this is common and the sense of urgency strong, it is important to take the time to find the right ‘fit’ and this may mean contacting various clinicians, as well as attending potentially more than one initial consultation. When new clients come for an initial consultation with me, I always set a goal with them at the start of the session in suggesting that it is their job to work out whether they feel comfortable enough (but not too comfortable) working with me, and my job to work out if I believe that clinically, I can help them. This often comes as a surprise to new clients in that they are there to make a judgement and choice in relation to working with me, however, therapy needs to be a co-created and collaborative process from the outset.

How do I know if my therapist is right for me?

If you find that you are working with a therapist and it does not feel like you are getting what you hoped for or are feeling uncomfortable then raise this. As I stated earlier, psychotherapy is ‘work’ that two people undertake and a big part of the work is in establishing a particular kind of relationship – a therapeutic relationship – or alliance.

If your psychotherapist is unwilling to hear your concerns and to discuss these with you, then that is a strong warning sign that the person you are working with is not a good fit (and arguably not a very good clinician).

I suggested earlier that psychotherapy should be a process that feels supportive and comfortable, but not too comfortable – you have sought out a psychotherapist because you have a problem and want support. Your psychotherapist is not there to be your friend.

They are equally not there to collude with you, but to appropriately and mindfully challenge you.

I previously referenced the different approaches to psychotherapy – the methods. These can seem confusing – and even cause a fair bit of infighting amongst the therapeutic community! One way of thinking about these approaches is to consider them as ways of conceptualising, of thinking, about your inner world. It may be that after a period of time you discover the way your psychotherapist thinks simply does not ‘fit’ with the way you think. Remember, psychotherapy is about understanding the human mind and nobody has veer seen or touched a mind – it is a concept, a construct, and as such is shaped and brought to life by language.

What is ‘good’ psychotherapy?

There are many answers to the question – ‘what is psychotherapy?’ – which is another way of asking the question ‘what is good therapy?’. As there are so many ways of helping people make sense of their inner world, there are an equal number of answers as to the goals of therapy, however, there is commonality.

Rather than ‘good therapy’ being one thing, it can be better expressed as a formula: A solid frame combined with a containing relationship. Let me explain: Us psychotherapists frequently reference ; ‘the frame’ in psychotherapy and this refers to all the elements that enable a solid ‘containing’ relationship to form between the client and their therapist. The frame consists of a regular meeting day and time, a stable and unchanging consulting room, sessions that start and end on time, a therapist who is ready and attentive – these are some examples.

By ‘containing relationship’ we are talking about the very unique role that we, as psychotherapists, must play for our clients. We are there to think about the client every second of the encounter and must not make the relationship or sessions about us.

Therefore, when in psychotherapy, if you ask your psychotherapist a question – something such as ‘how was your weekend?’ – they will likely explore with you what lies behind the question before answering.

A containing psychotherapist is also one who can ‘survive’ their client – in other words, the client is free to express themselves how they wish and the job of the therapist is to be able to hold the boundary no matter what. When the frame and container are solid, that is a good starting point for successful therapy.

Can it be dangerous to see the wrong psychotherapist?

Let us assume that by ‘wrong’ therapist we are assuming a poor fit rather than any kind of abusive relationship, as clearly the latter presents significant risks to the client and would constitute a breach of the psychotherapist’s (BACP or UKCP) code of conduct.

Psychotherapy is, amongst other things, about helping client to understand their wants and needs and to help them put appropriate boundaries in place in relationships. If a client is continuing to see a psychotherapist where they are getting little to nothing from the sessions and feel that they cannot raise this, then this is only going to further undermine their self esteem and confidence which is utterly counter-productive to the process. This would be an example of the client’s experience in their relational world repeating in the therapy.

How important is it that my therapist is accredited and what should I look for?

As I have previously highlighted, psychotherapy remains largely formally unregulated in the UK. Membership of the various professional bodies is voluntary and for clients, it can be hard to distinguish between them.

As a UKCP registered psychotherapist I am acutely aware of the rigorous training standards of my professional body and understand the level of training that other psychotherapists, irrespective of their modality, have received who are fellow members.

Anyone crossing the threshold of a psychotherapist’s consulting room has been on the receiving end of some degree of neglect or abuse in their childhood. This makes them susceptible to further relational injury from working with someone who either is misrepresenting themselves, or has received inadequate training to understand their
limitations.

Mark Vahrmeyer is available at our Brighton and Hove practice and the Lewes Practice.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer

Why do people get the birthday blues?

Is happiness the opposite of depression?

Are people with mental health problems violent?

Mental health problems in Brighton

The limitations of online therapy

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The Limitations of Online Therapy

Online psychotherapy is not a new concept; it was around before the pandemic and successfully used as a medium for delivering psychotherapy, counselling and coaching. However, what is new is how nearly all of us were obliged to work online to maintain continuity of sessions for our patients and clients during lockdown and how ubiquitous it remains. It is clearly here to stay but does that mean that in-person psychotherapy is a thing of the past?

Online psychotherapy brings with it some advantages over seeing a psychotherapist ‘in the flesh’ such as:

  • Access to a wider pool of clinicians;
  • Less time consuming as no travel is required;
  • Some people may find it easier to ‘open-up’ online rather than in person.

Like many psychotherapists, during the pandemic I had to abruptly move my whole practice online and together with my clients adapt to virtual sessions. Now at the tail-end of the pandemic the world is a different place and yet I have found that the vast majority of my clients have of their own volition decide to return to in-person sessions. I have explored this with them and below is a synthesis of some of the limitations of online psychotherapy and why, I believe, it will never replace in-person face-to-face sessions.

Psychotherapy is a body to body communication

Though often referred to a ‘talking therapy’ psychotherapy is much more a ‘listening therapy’ and the clinician is trained to listen in a very particular way – to what the client says as well as how they say it.

More than half of our communication is non-verbal and is a combination of tone and delivery in conjunction with body language. With online therapy much of the latter is lost due to the limitations of what can be seen on screen. But there is another reason why it gets lost – online psychotherapy is ever so slightly ‘out of synch’. It is almost imperceptible (most of the time) but there is a slight lag between the delivery of the sound and the delivery of the image which makes for a disconnect between the spoken and unspoken. And whilst almost imperceptible to the conscious mind, it gets registered by the emotional system.

Psychotherapy as re-parenting

Everyone who crosses the threshold of a psychotherapist’s consulting room is bringing with them unresolved experiences and patterns from their childhood. Many of the patterns are laid down in the formative years of bonding and dictate our attachment style. And because they were laid down between birth and around 2 years of age, they are non-verbal (and unconscious).

Psychotherapy is about working with these patterns – often referred to as ‘working in the transference’ – to understand how the client ‘does’ relationships; in this sense it is a process of re-pare helping the client to feel safer and more secure in relationships and in expressing boundaries.

The transitional space – travelling to therapy

Travelling to sessions in person can be time consuming and with today’s fuel prices, expensive. However, the travelling aspect has an important psychological function as it operates as a transitional space between the ordinary world and the unique world of introspective psychotherapy.

In online sessions I have often found that clients can be distracted as they have literally just ‘left work’ and entered my virtual consulting room – they have no given themselves time to make the journey to psychotherapy and it can then often take a significant part of the sessions for them to arrive.

Likewise, I have had clients who have scheduled work meetings immediately after their online therapy which can act as a powerful prohibitor to allowing themselves to ‘be in therapy’ as “I don’t want to get upset because I have a meeting with my boss”.

Lastly, when clients visit my consulting room in person, I am responsible for most of the physical boundaries. Clients know where they will be sitting, where the furniture will be positioned and this will remain the same week after week – it is part of be providing a consistent experience. Seeing a psychotherapist from home may mean that the space feels less safe with other members of the family in the same home or just simply having daily distractions around such as a picture of the family on the desk next to the monitor.

Psychotherapy is about making contact

Starting psychotherapy in any realm can feel like a daunting prospect. Coming into a consulting room, which is the domain of the psychotherapist, is a brave step.

Clients have often sat on my couch and mused or fretted about what to talk about. I generally sit in silence as they try and find their words as, to me, what they say is often less important than why they are telling me. If a client tells me anything they are telling me something about themselves that they feel is important and that they want me to see as important – often we need to figure out together why it is important but we generally get there in the end.

Therefore, psychotherapy is about ‘coming into contact with another’ – taking a risk to be seen and heard. Whilst this can be achieved to some extent online, nothing can be a substitute for in person contact where two bodies are in the same room and in communication and contact with each other.

Until we start raising babies and infants over virtual connections and can do so successfully – which is neither desirable nor remotely possible due to our physiological and psychological make-up – face-to-pace in person psychotherapy is not going anywhere.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer –

Pornography and the Online Safety Bill

Does the sex of my counsellor or psychotherapist matter?

How much time should I devote to self care?

Why is Netflix’s Squid Game so popular?

Parental Alienation and the impact on children

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Does the sex of my counsellor or psychotherapist matter?

A question I have often either been asked or has come up up is whether the gender of the clinician matters (or should matter) to the client?

The answer, as with most questions relating to the intricacies of psychotherapy is not categorically ‘yes’ or ‘no’.  However, the question opens up other questions which may themselves be more interesting such as, what are your beliefs about psychotherapy and why should the sex matter?

To start with, there are clearly cases and instances where it is entirely appropriate for a patient or client to want or need to work with a therapist of a particular gender.  Aside from the fact that this may simply be the wish of the client (and therefore to be respected) valid reasons may include a history of sexual abuse by one gender leading to the client feeling safe with the other gender (often their own).

However, if we drop beneath the obvious, the question takes on more of a philosophical slant and how it is answered gives much insight into what a clinician believes about psychotherapy – let me explain.

There are many ‘schools’ of psychotherapy and many methods, however most of these have more in common than they don’t and secondly, most clinicians are to a greater or lesser extent ‘integrative’ in that they use different models in their clinical work.  The greatest distinction, or divide, perhaps lies in whether or not a method, and thus a practitioner, believe in unconscious process or not (and spoiler alert – I do profoundly).

As a psychoanalytically informed psychotherapist, I work with the unconscious which means to say that I take very little on face value and work with my clients to understand why they think, behave and act in the way they do; in other words, how is their past experience influencing their perception of the present without their knowledge.  Through therapy the past can be uncovered, worked through, grieved and its hold on the present reduced.  This frees clients up to make informed and thought through choices based on their reality as it really is now rather than where they were previously stuck.

Those who don’t believe in the unconscious (namely behaviourists or person-centred therapists to name a couple) take things on face value.  They do not believe in unconscious process and work very much in the ‘here and now’.

How does the unconscious link to the sex of the therapist?

Those of us who work with the unconscious will, to a greater or lesser extent, work with transference – that is, work with whom we represent to the client in the room.  And whom we represent will invariably be one of the client’s caregivers, usually a parent.

Transference is very similar to projection, which is something we all do at times – we ascribe values to a person based on prior assumptions rather than on the reality of who they are.  The difference with transference is that the clinician, if trained well enough, will receive the client’s projections and be thinking about who they are (represent) for the client.

Freud believed (and rightly so) that transference occurs irrespective of gender/sex.  We will therefore ‘transfer’ our unfinished business relating to either or both parents onto the therapist.  This too is my experience as I work in the transference and so recognise that how the client relates to me tells me something important about how they learnt to relate as a child and I can represent their mother just as easily as their father in the transference.

Therefore, whilst in some cases the sex of the therapist may matter, in most, it does not.  And I believe that has also been my clients’ experience over the years whereby they may have had a preference in working with a female, have ‘ended up with me’ and we have done excellent work.

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Mark Vahrmeyer, please contact him here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer

How much time should I devote to self care?

Why is Netflix’s Squid Game so popular?

Parental Alienation and the impact on children

Space: The Final Frontier of Manic Defence

Do Psychotherapists Need to Love Their Clients?

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Executive Coaching, Psychotherapy, or both?

Executive or Leadership coaching is nowadays widely offered in organisations. Employers know the benefits of investing in developing their leaders and employing a coach is one of the best ways of doing this. 

What Makes a Good Leader?

Good leaders need to be self-aware, emotionally intelligent and have excellent interpersonal skills. The leaders who develop such qualities fair far better than those who have risen to the top due to high performance in their respective fields, but do not have the qualities needed to lead a team. Leaders of people need to know how to do relationships. This includes setting boundaries, being assertive and knowing how to communicate well with their peers and staff.

Psychotherapy is all about relationships – to self, others and the world. In psychotherapy, we learn to understand ourselves on a deeper level. This translates into knowing how we impact and are impacted by others. The aim of self-knowledge is to become more perceptive about patterns we repeat that are unhelpful or even harmful to ourselves and those around us. This extends to relationships at work, where the leader has a responsibility to shape the culture of an organisation and create an environment where people have the best chance to perform well. 

The leader and their staff‘s performance directly impacts the success of an organisation, which brings us back to the importance of good interpersonal relationships, communication and self-knowledge, especially when what is required is seeing and working with what lies beneath the surface.

What is the Difference Between Psychotherapy and Coaching?

Psychotherapy and leadership coaching are two distinct professions, each with a with their own set of skills and training. However, coaches with psychotherapy training under their belt are in a good position to coach executives due to their in-depth training in psychological theories and processes. Psychotherapists are trained on what makes people think, feel and behave the way they do. This knowledge can be directly applied to organisational and team dynamics. 

However, this does not in itself make any psychotherapist into a skilled leadership coach. Coaching leaders in the context in which they are working requires training, knowledge and experience in the field of business and as well as psychology. It also requires an ongoing interest in both, and the drive to constantly learn.   

Psychotherapists who work as coaches also need to know how the two differ and where they overlap. No one wants to engage in coaching and end up receiving psychotherapy instead, or vice-versa. Executive coaching is work focused, usually time-limited and takes place less frequently than psychotherapy. People engage in coaching usually to work through challenges they are experiencing at work, to develop themselves in their role or to explore changes in their career. Finally, psychotherapy and coaching can take place alongside one another, with two different professionals who will support the client in distinct but possibly overlapping areas of the person’s life. 

 

Sam Jahara is a UKCP registered Psychotherapist and Tavistock trained Executive Coach. She has a special interest on the impact of unconscious dynamics at work. She was born in Brazil and lived in Germany, The Netherlands and Australia. Sam currently lives and works in the UK and sees clients from her Lewes and Hove offices as well as online. You can get in touch with Sam directly via her profile.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

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What makes Psychotherapy Different?

“The Patient who will not suffer pain fails to suffer pleasure.” Wilfred Bion 1970.

One of the best things about being a therapist is the demand for us to stay awake and alive. There is constant training meaning our development is always a work in progress.

What Makes a Psychotherapist?

Psychotherapy isn’t just a profession. You must become a psychotherapist rather than simply do psychotherapy. The non-behavioural psychotherapeutic interaction between a therapist and a client is one where therapists use regular and meaningful interactions with the client to bring awareness to their feelings and behaviours.

As therapists, we give everything in our minds, bodies, and intuition to try and get a sense of how our clients feel.

Jonathon Shedler, the American Psychotherapist and researcher, says “don’t ask what model your therapist practises but how much therapy they have had.”

For us, this is what makes psychotherapy different.

Why Do Psychotherapists Need Therapy?

It is through a therapist’s own therapy that we truly learn the practice of psychotherapy as this involves being challenged to reflect deeply on our own internal processes, avoidance and defence mechanisms. Through doing our own reflecting in therapy, we can relate further to our patients.

Personal therapy for psychotherapists helps to build professional identities. Practical experiences help us in becoming more efficient and have more insight other than theoretical knowledge. Having a therapeutic experience as a therapist has the potential to make a therapist more empathetic towards their patients.

Difference Between Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling involves two people working together to solve a problem. Counsellors offer guidance and support as a way to manage their life. Psychotherapy is a longer-term treatment that focuses more on gaining insight into emotional problems. It focuses on a person’s thought processes and how they might be influenced by past events.

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a collective of experienced psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors working with a range of client groups, including fellow therapists and health professionals. If you would like more information, or an informal discussion please get in touch. Online therapy is available.

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Do Psychotherapists Need to Love Their Clients?

Freud is an extraordinary and greatly misunderstood individual (and mental health practitioner).  Many believe we have ‘evolved’ beyond his ‘outdated’ theories and indeed, there are views and  theories of his that are no longer literally relevant. However, to dismiss him on this basis is myopic and superficial in that Freud’s writing has taken us to where we are today in the world of  psychotherapy; and so many of his theories are increasingly becoming ‘evidenced’ through technology and our understanding of brain plasticity and the need for relationship to grow a mind.  So, with this in mind, I shall now start my piece with a Freud quote: 

‘Psychoanalysis is in essence a cure through love’ Freud, S. (1906) correspondence with  Jung. 

What is love? 

The first question that must be considered in Freud’s statement is the question of what love is? 

Clearly Freud is not talking about Eros, or erotic love; he is referring to Agape, love towards fellow human beings. However, I believe Freud is saying something significantly more profound and more important: By using the terminology ‘love’ Freud is drawing a comparison to the role of the analyst (or psychotherapist) in the transference – the role of the parent who has let the child in the client down. 

Parents should love their children and most do. However, loving a child is complex as it means to allow and encourage that child to have their own experience – emotional and psychological – separate to the parent. It is about being able to encourage and tolerate difference and then celebrate it in own’s child. 

Children who have been let down – neglected, abused or abandoned – have learnt that their survival depends on ‘keeping their parent happy’ – they sacrifice their own separateness and own experience in order to hold on to a parent. This is not a child who is ‘loved’. But a child who is owned. 

Love therefore in Freud’s sense of the word is about true empathy – to be able to understand and accept another’s experience without becoming threatened by it, without collapsing and without colluding with it. And without sacrificing our own experience. 

Does loving a client mean accepting their behaviour? 

Behaviour, when driven unconsciously by effect (emotion) is termed ‘acting out’ and ‘acting out’ is mindless. Furthermore it is an attack on the therapy and an attack on the therapist. 

Much like a good parent will have empathy for a child’s fear of the dentist, or a child’s desire for sweets placed next to the till, this does not mean that the child gets what they want – the avoidance of the dental appointment or the indulgence of sweets. A ‘good enough’ parent is able to empathise with the child’s feelings but withstand their demands. In short, a parent’s job is to hold their child in mind and advocate for their best interests rather than the child’s self interests (or their  own self interests). 

Is Psychoanalysis in essence the same as a Person-Centred Approach? 

Now we have established what Freud probably means by love, we can consider whether the analytical approach is in essence the same as a person-centred approach – one of unconditional positive regard. Is this not love? 

To a point it is, however, in my view (and that of analytically minded clinicians) the person-centred approach leaves the whole idea of ‘the unconscious’ just there – in the unconscious: in other words it does not exist. What you see is what you get.

Without working with the unconscious and in the transference, a clinician cannot really ‘love’ their client as they are oblivious to the drives and projections that are paying out in the room – the meaning behind the strength of emotion from the client. And they remain oblivious to whom they represent for the client and thus where the loss or trauma resides relationally. 

An analytical clinician will work to understand whom the client is projecting onto them – the transference – and will work within the context of that to provide the client with a different experience of relationship 

Evicting the bad parent 

We all ‘internalise’ our parents – working models of how we experienced them. If this process of internalisation goes ‘well enough’ then we can draw on a solid sense of sense that is supportive of us taking up space in the world and in other relationships: we can bear our inner world However, if it goes awry somehow, then that working model can be punitive, critical and unsupportive and we avoid contact with our inner world at all costs. The process of analytical therapy is to ‘evict’ the bad  parent and offer the client an alternative object (person) to introject through the consistent therapeutic relationship. 

How to ‘love’ our clients 

Loving our clients is a hard thing to do not because they are unlikable or unlovable, but because it  means consistently offering the client a different experience of relationship that they will be unconsciously trying to sabotage in subtle ways. Freud also spoke of our fear of change and suggested that in order to mitigate against change, going forward we always seek to replicate the past. Abused and neglected children feel unconsciously ‘safe’ in abusive and neglectful relationships as then the ‘world makes sense’ and they can simply use their old defensive  mechanisms to carry on surviving. They also don’t need to feel vulnerable. 

Loving a client means holding appropriate boundaries, offering them support and understanding whilst resisting either being seduced or offended by attacks. And as with real life evictions, the internal parents will protest and fight back to stay put. 

Ultimately loving our clients means to hold them in mind in ways they never were – their best interest rather than self interests. 

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Mark Vahrmeyer, please contact him here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer –

What is the purpose of intimate relationships?

Why ‘Cancel Culture’ is about the inability to tolerate difference

The Phenomenon of ‘Manifesting – The Law of Attraction’ and the inability to tolerate reality

Why does the difference between counselling and psychotherapy matter?

Love in the time of Covid

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Is it ever too late to start psychotherapy?

Is it too late to consider going into therapy once we reach a certain age? As I walked through the gardens on an early spring morning, this was the question going through my mind. I intended to get down to writing this blog, an unfamiliar task, when I got back to my office.

We seem to have heard all year about mental and physical decline as we age so it was refreshing to read Levitin (see below) that the brain retains plasticity or the capacity to learn and change through out life. And if we are not taken down by dementia, brain injury or stroke, we can in fact retain a lively and flexible mind throughout life. We have to do the obvious things like follow a balanced diet, exercise, not give up purposeful activity (work) and maintain a good and diverse social network.

Throughout life, our close friends and family are important to our wellbeing. These relationships take enormous strain in a world where change is the only hope for survival. And they need looking after even if this means we might end a relationship, if we have children developing and sustaining a healthy connection can help our children to adjust to the world with a healthy out look.

Transitional periods, retirement, divorce, bereavement, empty-nest syndrome, can benefit from psychotherapy for one or both partners providing the space for increased awareness of ourselves, an opportunity for gaining insight and change.

Considering the later years are often filled with opportunities for reflection on a life lived there is always plenty material to explore in the therapy room. David Levitin, an American Neuroscientist, sees this period of life as an opportunity to see life afresh. His premise is the brain retains its capacity to change through out life, at its greatest in childhood and old age.

 

To enquire about group sessions with Thea Beech, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Dorothea Beech is a Group Analyst with many years experience working in the UK and overseas.  She worked as A Group Analyst in South Africa as a Lecturer at Cape Town UCT and at Kwa Zulu Natal University in Durban, lecturing on a Masters Program in Group Work.  Her MA in Applied research was on Eating disorders. Her interests are in cultural diversity and trans-generational influences on the individual.  Thea is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

 

Further reading by Thea Beech

The Unconscious Mind

Groups for Mental Health

Group Psychotherapy in a post ‘Pandemic World’

Termination and endings in Psychotherapy

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Why all therapists and mental health professionals need therapy now more than ever

I don’t know about you, but I have been riding the Covid-19 emotional roller coaster since March 2020 with very little roadmap, whilst trying to guide those who I work with like “the blind leading the blind”.

I also see my own psychotherapist and supervisers in the exact same boat. They are supposed to know more than me, but actually I get the sense that we are all struggling together.

Nonetheless, as a mental health professional, business owner and with all my family living in different countries, I have been dealing with my own set of challenges as a result of Covid-19, as well as trying to be the best support I can for my clients. I have also felt grateful for the support of a therapist throughout this period and couldn’t imagine a better time to be in therapy other than now.

All helping professionals are going through their own predicaments throughout this crisis whilst trying to help others as well. This can be both rewarding and also incredibly taxing. I noticed feeling more tired than ever at the end of last year – an exhaustion which felt both familiar and entirely new. Self-care has become more important than ever.

We all had to adapt to new working practices and navigate the unknown over past months. This has been both unsettling and reassuring in that most of us have survived and gotten through in our own way. There have been losses for sure and they have taught us that we can survive them too.

Professionals in support roles have been working through the pandemic feeling mostly under-resourced themselves. Under such unusual set of circumstances this can only be expected. It has been humbling.

Having weekly psychotherapy sessions has helped and continues to help me enormously. Therapists need their own therapy now more than ever. If we are to continue to be of help to our clients, first we need to have the support ourselves.

 

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a collective of experienced psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors working with a range of client groups, including fellow therapists and health professionals. If you would like more information, or an informal discussion please get in touch with us.

 

Sam Jahara is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist and clinical Superviser. She works with individuals and couples in Hove and Lewes.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

What shapes us?

How Psychotherapy can Help Shape a Better World

Getting the most of your online therapy sessions

How Psychotherapy will be vital in helping people through the Covid-19 crisis

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