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December 28, 2020 by BHP Leave a Comment

Nietzsche and the body

Here I reflect, a little,  on a few of Nietzsche’s words on and as the body. These reflections are not conclusive or comprehensive. The only agenda is inspired by Nietzsche,  to perhaps stimulate the reader’s curiosity and desire to experiment and explore.  Please do read my previous article – ‘Why read Nietzsche?‘

“The body is a great intelligence, a multiplicity with one sense, a war and a peace, a herd and a shepherd.” (1)

Nietzsche felt many philosophers, including Plato and Descartes, failed to grasp the significance of the corporeal nature of human beings and the pivotal role of affect.

In much of his writing he explored the impossibility of pure thinking, reminding us that we are embodied thinkers, and our senses and emotions are as much a part of this reasoning as thought, if not more so.

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Nietzsche treasured being and walking in nature. In fact, Nietzsche (1967) seemingly suggests physical movement was necessary for a thought to be accepted as plausible when he said –

“Give no credence to a thought that was not born outdoors while one moved about freely”. (2)

He depicted how the air we breathe, the food we eat, the place we live and what we ingest through reading, writing and talking all have an impact on our physiology and philosophy and vice versa. Nietzsche (1974) even advised:

“Our first questions about the value of a book, of a human being, or a musical composition are: Can they walk? Even more, can they dance?” (3)

Nietzsche wrote a poem called ‘Writing with one’s feet’. It emphasised the principle of embodiment through metaphor and description of the anatomy of his writing.

“Not with my hand alone I write: 
My foot wants to participate.
Firm and free and bold, 
my feet Run across the field – and sheet”(4)

I understand Nietzsche as a passionate defender of the embodied lived experience. His philosophy is one that elevates both known and unknown instincts and drives that interplay with our bodily lived experiences. In fact, Nietzsche seems to suggest the self is the body.

“Behind your thoughts and feelings… there stands a mighty rule, an unknown sage – whose name is self. In your body he dwells; he is your body”(5)

Nietzsche was not defining the body in a conventional way, such as a physical body or a single unit. He viewed it more metaphorically as a collection of corporeal and psychic forces, including emotions and instincts which are in a continual and often conflictual interplay. He saw the self as a plurality of forces, or more precisely a plurality of (relational) affects. These relational affects each express a viewpoint and seek domination.  Affects, for Nietzsche, are dynamically and continually interpreting and creating perspective. (6)

This multiplicity can sometimes create confusion and conflict, especially if one gets stuck in thinking there is  a such a thing as supremacy, or the right way, or the truth. Perhaps the key is to recognise that they all say many things at once. Rather than seeing this multiplicity of meaning and often unknown elements as something to fear, one could be curious and trust there is something to be listened to in all aspects. This exploration and experimentation is something that therapy can be helpful for.  A potential space to sit in the unknown for a while, exploring, experimenting and experiencing,  and see what might emerge.

Perhaps as Nietzsche suggests this very experience of conflicting affect can dislodge the notion that there is one way to be and create an opportunity for us to be guided into new, more fluid and creative ways of becoming. It can show us there are no limits to novel forms and there is always potential for transformation even within the limitations, obstacles and challenges that we may face. It also tells me that the idea of a rational pure thought that can somehow ignore or overcome the influence of emotions, physical sensations and those forces that reside in the unknown or unreflected, is unlikely. For Nietzsche it seems, nothing is, or needs to be, left behind in this often enigmatic embodied endeavour we might call lived experience.

As I conclude I feel a pressure to tie this short piece up into a nice and neat bow, so that it feels complete and reassuring somehow. However, I also feel the desire to swim. Perhaps the former would be missing the entire point of Nietzsche and the latter highlights his case in point.

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Susanna Petitpierre, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Susanna Petitpierre, BACP Registered, is an experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor, providing long and short term counselling. Her approach is primarily grounded in existential therapy and she works with individuals.  Susanna is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

 

Further reading by Susanna Petitpierre

Why read Nietzsche?

Magnificent Monsters

Death Anxiety

A consideration of some vital notions connected to Existential Therapies

 

References – 

1) Nietzsche, F. (1883/2010) Thus Spoke Zarathustra (Ed. B Chapko),Ebook.

2) Nietzsche, F. (1967) Ecce Homo, in On the Genealogy of Morals and Ecce Homo, trans. and ed. by Walter Kaufmann. New York: Vintage Books, 1967

3) Nietzsche, F. (1882/1974), The Gay science. With a Prelude in Rhymes and an Appendix of Songs, trans. W Kaufmann, New York: Random House

4) Nietzsche, F. (1882/1974), The Gay science. With a Prelude in Rhymes and an Appendix of Songs, trans. W Kaufmann, New York: Random House

5) Nietzsche, F. (1883/2010) Thus Spoke Zarathustra (Ed. B Chapko), Ebook.

6) Bazzano, M., (2019) Niezsche and Psychotherapy. London: Routeledge.

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Filed Under: Psychotherapy, Spirituality, Susanna Petitpierre Tagged With: existential psychotherapy, Mental Health, personal experience

December 21, 2020 by BHP Leave a Comment

What shapes us?

We all have key figures in our lives, people who either held or hold great importance because of their positive impact on our professional and personal lives. They may have been people who we are either personally or professionally connected to, such as parents, siblings, friends, family members, or teachers, bosses, coaches, therapists and work colleagues, to name a few.

These people become so important to us because we internalise their qualities and also their positive messages to us, whether they were implicit or explicit, verbal or non-verbal.

Therapists are keenly aware that some key elements need to be present in our work in order for a positive relationship to form. We know that many who come to therapy do so because of breakdown or absence of relationship early on, which we can also understand as a scarcity or total absence of some key elements listed below:

Interest and Curiosity

To feel seen, heard and to perceive sense of curiosity towards oneself from another, which is engaged, honest and encourages mutual trust. Delight, enjoyment and even surprise in the exchanges that take place.

Attunement

Usually used in the context of a parent-child relationship, but the word is also used in other contexts. Attunement is a quality where the other person ‘tunes in’ to another, almost as if trying to absorb and understand what the other is communicating on a deeper level. Attuning entails putting oneself aside to hear how the other views and experiences the world.

Consistency

Consistent love and care is something children need in order to feel emotionally and psychologically safe. This continues to be the case for adults, albeit in a different way. The consistency in the care of others is what gives us a sense of belonging and therefore a sense of safety in the world.

Commitment

To feel the commitment of another to a relationship is another form of consistency, but also one that affirms that “I am here for you” or “You can count on me”. This doesn’t not mean that the other won’t disappoint at times or will always be available. But they let you know that you can rely on their commitment to you as a friend, partner or in an ongoing professional relationship, such as the regular long-term commitment of psychotherapy, for instance.

Time

Related to the two above in that there needs to be a consistent time commitment in order for any relationship to work. The gift of time cannot be underestimated, especially in today’s world. With time, important conversations take place, people get to know one another and things are allowed to unfold. We feel valued and important when others make time to be with us.

Connection

Of course this can’t be forced. We either feel connected or we don’t. However, all of the qualities above are conducive to developing a connection with another. Some people are better than others at connecting, both to themselves and therefore to other people. But there are times when the chemistry between individuals exists in a way in which can’t be explained. Some of these formed connections stay with us for a very long time, if not forever.

What are other qualities that you see as essential to forming a positive bond with someone? I look forward to your thoughts.

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Sam Jahara, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

Sam Jahara is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist with a special interest in working with issues linked to cultural identity and a sense of belonging. She works with individuals and couples in Hove and Lewes.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

How Psychotherapy can Help Shape a Better World

Getting the most of your online therapy sessions

How Psychotherapy will be vital in helping people through the Covid-19 crisis

Leaving the Family

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Filed Under: Families, Relationships, Sam Jahara Tagged With: Mental Health, Relationships, therapeutic relationship

December 7, 2020 by BHP Leave a Comment

Making Changes

As well as working privately, I work within an NHS IAPT Service providing psychological therapy for depression and anxiety disorders and when a client comes into therapy, one of the first things we discuss is goals for treatment.

What is it the client is hoping to change by the end of treatment? Is there anything that the client is not able do now, because of their difficulties, that they would like to be doing in the next couple of months?

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Goals help to focus the therapy. It’s quite common that the client will say they would like to increase their confidence or to improve their self esteem, to be less anxious or to be happy. These are very broad goals, would be difficult to measure and don’t tell us what the client would actually be doing differently if they were to be confident, have better self esteem, be less anxious or be happier. So we work together to work out what this might look like.

One way to help determine goals for change is to think of our values. When considering values we need to think about what is really important to us, what gives our life meaning and purpose. Values are what we care about and are different for everybody. They can change over time depending on where we are in our life. Meaningful activity is value driven. Values are fluid and don’t have an end point, they are how we want to live our lives, they help us to be the person we want to be.

We hold values in different areas of our life: intimate relationships / marriage / being a couple; family relations; friendships & social relationships; parenting; career / employment; physical wellbeing / healthy living; connecting with the community; spirituality; education / training / personal growth; mental wellbeing.

It can be useful to consider what values you hold in each of these areas and rate how important each domain is to you and where you are in achieving that domain. For example what kind of values do you hold in physical wellbeing? How do you want to look after yourself physically? Is it to take regular exercise, eat healthily, get enough sleep and rest? Are you achieving this as much as you would like to be? What sort of friend do you want to be and how would you like to act towards your friends? For example, loyal, trustworthy, to spend time with friends, to share, to listen, to have fun together. What kind of values might you want to model as a parent? For example, to be curios, have courage, be adventurous, have determination, gratitude kindness and have fun (to name but a few). Values can be described as compass directions in which we live our life.

If you feel that you are not where you would like to be within a particular domain, how can you bring this value further into your life? This is where goal setting comes in. Values are a direction we want to progress in. Goals can be set to help us achieve that direction. For example, if we place value upon exercise and physical health we might have the goal of going for a swim twice a week or we might have a goal of completing a qualification, which sits within the value of education and personal growth. Goals can be achieved and have an end point. You maybe familiar with the acronym SMART goals. This means goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time limited. So if we wanted to make the goal of ‘going for a swim twice a week’ into a really SMART goal we could add a set time period, i.e. ‘going for a swim twice a week for half an hour’. By setting SMART goals we break down the areas of change into manageable chunks.

Change is difficult and if we are feeling low or stressed and anxious we can often feel overwhelmed. It is likely that areas of our life that are important to us have become affected and we don’t know where to start to change this.

Setting ourselves small goals for change in line with our values is a useful starting place. It’s important to remember that there is no such thing as a failed goal. If we don’t achieve our goal it still give us useful information. Perhaps we set ourselves an unrealistic goal, in which case we might consider how we can break this down further into smaller, more manageable chunks. We can explore the process along the way whilst trying to achieve our goals and moving towards our values. In this way change takes place and has a positive impact on our mental wellbeing.

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Rebecca Mead, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Rebecca Mead is an accredited, registered and experienced Psychotherapist offering Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) to individuals adults.  Rebecca is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

 

Further reading by Rebecca Mead –

Social Connections

Back to ‘Bace’ics

Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) explained

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Filed Under: Mental Health, Rebecca Mead, Relationships, Spirituality, Work Tagged With: anxiety, Mental Health, Self-esteem

Online Depression Psychotherapy

Depression is like a whole-body illness that a?ects not just your mood and thoughts but also your physical self, such as your appetite and sleep patterns, and how you view yourself, your capabilities and your emotions.

The symptoms of this condition vary from person to person, as well as in severity, but they can range from a feeling of helplessness and sadness to anxiety, insomnia, a loss of appetite, irritability and even suicidal thoughts.

How Can Psychotherapy Help?

There are several types of treatment available for depression, but the most effective is talking therapy in the shape of counselling or psychotherapy. Depression can be thought of as a ‘stickiness’ related to unexpressed emotion. A clinician trained in working with depression will listen to you without judgement, in a confidential and safe space to offer you the support you need to work through the problems that are troubling you. They can offer suggestions of strategies to deal with your depression and techniques to help you during the darker times.

Online depression counselling and psychotherapy makes it easier to speak with a trained professional, with sessions held remotely to make them more convenient and accessible. Depression can often make tasks feel insurmountable, so being able to speak to someone from your own home can also make therapy more approachable for many people.

Self-acceptance is fundamental in overcoming the destructive thoughts and beliefs one holds about themselves when they are depressed. Psychotherapy can help you recover trust in yourself and develop a better relationship with yourself through being in a relationship with your therapist.

Seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist work through depression enables you to learn a new approach in expressing your thoughts and feelings in the presence of another. Our clinical team are skilled in helping people deal with negative thoughts and feelings, as well as in providing objective advice and guidance to help you overcome the challenges related to this condition.

If you’re feeling depressed or want to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, get in touch with our team today and talk to someone.

All the content on this page has been reviewed and vetted by Mark Vahrmeyer UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Superviser and Co-Founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy. For any questions or more information about the subjects discussed on this page please contact us.


November 2, 2020 by BHP Leave a Comment

The Phenomenon of ‘Manifesting – The Law of Attraction’ and the inability to tolerate reality

What is ‘Manifesting’ and The Law of Attraction?

Recently a client, somewhat younger than me, described a phenomenon they called “Manifesting”. They felt excited and disappointed in themselves in equal measure that they seemed to be failing in using this ‘secret’ method of working with ‘the universe’ to bring them whatever their heart desired.

Curious, I investigated.

Manifesting is a verb used to describe the active process of using positive thoughts, and a degree of self-hypnosis, to draw ‘good things’ to oneself. Based on the many Youtube videos on this topic, these good things seem to be consumer products or monetary wealth, rather than contentment and tolerance, but then the latter two are really not as enticing as ones own private island.

Manifesting is not new and nor is the concept original. It seems to have been re-hashed in a 2006 ‘documentary’ and book entitled ‘The Secret’ which explains the mystical process of using the ‘Law of Attraction’ to get what you want in life. What a great concept – if only it were true.

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Fate and Destiny
I have previously written about the concepts of fate and destiny and how I do not believe that any idea of fate has a place in psychotherapy – or indeed in the outcome of psychotherapy, which is in essentially becoming an adult who can tolerate reality.

To recap, the concept of fate posits that there is some sort of external force, entity or deity that decides what happens to us. This can be very unhelpful in the therapeutic process as clients can often use the idea of fate to reinforce that what is happening (or not) to them is simply how things are supposed to be.

Destiny, though not a word I personally favour, can be translated to being thought of as taking some degree of ownership of one’s life whilst remaining firmly rooted in reality. Therefore it is possible for most free people to experience a change in their lives, or perception of their lives, whist acknowledging their reality.

Destiny and death
Some years back I spent four years working on the front lines of death – as a psychotherapist in the field of palliative care. Whilst the usual issues around meaning, relationships and mental health problems presented themselves, they were all within the context of death and dying: I worked with patients who had terminal illnesses, were actively dying or with their bereaved relatives. It certainly redefines the concept of ‘psychotherapy’ when sitting beside the bedside of a patient who has hours to live and is engaging with you through a cocktail of opiates!

Despite the confronting nature of death and dying – the patients’ ‘fate’ was sealed – nonetheless, many of the people I worked with were able to find purpose and meaning in their predicament and to mourn losses not perviously addressed. They were engaged in changing their destiny.

Magical thinking
We can all, at times, make use of magical thinking. It can be a way of assuaging anxiety and giving us an illusion of being in control. The practice is as old as human beings and embedded in language such as in the saying ‘touch wood’ or in the belief that walking under ladders brings bad luck. Human beings are symbolic creatures who make the unreal real. This is perhaps how we cope with our knowledge of finitude – death. However, we also confuse the symbolic with the real.

Whilst touching wood and avoiding ladders is relatively harmless, subscribing wholeheartedly to fantasies that there is some ‘secret’ method or means of ‘manifesting’ objects into ones life is dangerous and deluded. In psychological terms it is a way of avoiding growing up and being born. A way of believing that the world can be just how we want it if only we imagine it hard enough – a sort of womb, in essence.

The power of magic
The reality of being in weekly or more frequent psychotherapy is that it is not very magical at all.  In fact, it is the opposite. Psychotherapy generally takes place in a fairly ordinary consulting room (or online), you see the same face week after week and often find yourself going over the same ground. Clearly promises of Ferraris and private islands are far more enticing. However, the consistency and regularity, along with having someone there who holds us in mind and helps us think can be life changing. If we are thought about, just perhaps we can learn to think our own
thoughts about ourselves rather than follow a script on who we are. If we are not alone then we can learn to bear reality, however hard that may seem.

Psychotherapy does not promise magic. It is, in fact, the opposite in that often our job as psychotherapists is to help clients and patients lift the veils of illusion and see life and their history for what it was – only then can the mourning begin. And it is only through mourning that eventually desire can emerge – a sense of self and a sense of what that self wants.

Desire
When desire emerges it is rarely if ever about Ferraris or private islands. It is not about consumer products period. It is about a deeper recognition of what will bring contentment and peace in the context of the realities in which that person lives. And that can be achieved even on a death-bed.

Of course, as a final blow, unlike manifesting, psychotherapy also has science on its side. And a long studied evidence base. It may not get the Youtube hits but then real life was never to be found in movies.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

 

Further reading by Mark Vahrmeyer

Why does the difference between counselling and psychotherapy matter?

Love in the time of Covid

Why am I feeling more anxious with Covid-19?

Coronavirus Lock-Down – Physical Health Vs Mental Health

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Filed Under: Mark Vahrmeyer, Mental Health, Psychotherapy Tagged With: anxiety, Mental Health, Psychotherapy

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COVID-19 (CORONAVIRUS) Important Notice

We would like to reassure all our clients that Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is operating as normal despite the current situation.

Our working practices have fully incorporated online therapy in addition to a re-opening of our Hove and Lewes practices for face-to-face psychotherapy in accordance with Government guidelines and advice on safe practice and social distancing.