One major decision in any adult’s life is choosing whether or not to have children. For some, it can be more a question of when than if; perhaps they’ve always imagined having kids or just known for their entire lives that motherhood is for them. For others, the pull to have one’s own children never…
Attachment theory is everywhere. TikTok, YouTube and Instagram are filled with videos explaining anxious attachment, avoidant partners, fearful-avoidant relationships and the supposed signs that somebody is emotionally unavailable. For many people, this language can be genuinely helpful, offering a framework through which to understand why closeness feels difficult, why reassurance never seems sufficient, or why…
As heatwaves intensify across Europe and wildfires spread through parts of France and Spain, climate change can feel less like a distant scientific projection and more like a reality unfolding in front of us. Images of burning forests, evacuated towns and smoke-filled skies challenge the assumption that the climate we have known throughout our lives…
Loss and renewal Spring has arrived, bringing longer days, sunlight, green shoots, daffodils and all kinds of quiet movement. We begin to move too. We turn away from the still hibernation of winter towards the external world. We shed a layer or two and open our eyes a bit wider to let the light in….
Being in personal therapy is an important pillar of being a good psychotherapist. Psychotherapists registered with the UKCP and BPC, or attached to credible training institutes, are required to be in personal therapy with a senior professional for the duration of their training. Face to face, once weekly, at a minimum, for at least four…
In psychotherapy there is a lot of focus on patients coming to therapy – the start. Prospective patients will often mull over starting psychotherapy for a long time and it is not infrequent that they have “false starts” where they perhaps research a therapist, only to abandon the process in favour of some less confronting…
It is possible that we have never had as much information and as many opinions available as we have now. We can seek guidance, knowledge and understanding with incredible ease. We can also find ourselves subject to an often confusing volume of opinions. How do we develop and maintain our sense of self, with our…
Hope in uncertain times As an Arab-British woman of Iraqi descent with an Iranian name, whose childhood homes were both Lebanon and the UK, hope is hard to find in these times. Emily Dickinson created an evocative metaphor for hope, ‘That thing with feathers’, described as perching within the soul, a presence that ‘sings the…
The psychic life of categorisation We live in a moment saturated with the language of categories. Societal hierarchies sort humans into columns of belonging and threat. Political discourse strips complex differences, lives, experiences and humanity into slogans. Social media rewards the most reductive version of any argument. In each of these arenas, something is happening…
Sometimes we can get pulled into relationships that are confusing and painful, and yet at the same time we are drawn to stay in them, almost in an addictive way. These relationships often follow a cycle of pain and hurt, which is followed by periods of kindness and loving attention. This cycle of pain and…
When emotions feel disproportionately intense People often come to therapy because something in the present feels unexpectedly intense and unsafe. A wave of anxiety engulfs us. Shame flares up where none seems warranted. A familiar sense of collapse, anger, or fear takes hold before there is time to think. Cognitively, many people can see that…
The concept of thinking might sound straightforward and instinctive. In many situations, particularly with practical matters, such as working out the best route to get to work or deciding what colour to paint your child’s bedroom, it could be as simple as going into problem-solving mode, doing some research, and making a decision. However, when…