Life is disappointing. That sounds terribly negative, however, being able to tolerate and work with this reality can make the difference between success and failure. Relationships are also disappointing, but, like life, they are many other things too. Let’s delve into it. Being able to tolerate and work with disappointment is one of the hallmarks…
In my last blog ‘What is the unconscious?’, I attempted a very brief explanation of what we might mean and understand when we refer to the unconscious and how exploring this unknown territory is an integral aspect of the therapeutic alliance. This alliance can be described as an intersubjective (between two people) process, in which…
Has anyone ever told you to act your age? You might have a memory of an irritable parent, partner or friend telling you so. I certainly remember being scolded this way on occasion. It’s a setting where one person urges another to be more ‘grown up’ than they appear. It’s always seemed an interesting expression…
‘It’s all too much’ There are times in life when things get to a point where it is all too much. Usually, as a result of an accumulation of emotional, mental and physical demands without much respite. For instance, ongoing personal or professional conflict, a pervasive sense of stuckness, challenges with no imminent resolution, etc….
What is Low Self Esteem? This is when we think negatively about ourselves, we don’t feel good enough. We are likely to get into self-critical thinking, think others are better than us and blame ourselves when things go wrong. We are likely to focus on our negatives and not on our achievements, struggle to accept…
Put another way, is getting anything less than 100% not acceptable to you, and a trigger for uncomfortable feelings of failure, of not being good enough, of self-criticism, self-doubt and shame? In my experience as a psychotherapist, a personal drive for perfection is often the root cause of distress in many of those seeking therapy….
(Adapted from a presentation given at the SEA conference November 2022) – (Part two) Speaking of life itself as a movement of becoming. Have we forgotten the isness and replaced it with beingness, an allegedly unified subject of self-consciousness, contained and stuck within a name or a label? Must knowledge be part of it, must…
Who would have known a recent visit to Alexandria Park in Hastings and a guided tree walk would inspire this work in progress. The Park happens to have a very diverse and nationally significant tree collection planted by Robert Manock in 1882, and subsequent others. Much of what was conveyed was fascinating but left my…
Ask yourself if you would like to be described as being ‘average’ and it might not be your first choice. Average might feel like a vague insult, a reflection on yourself that you’d rather not have. When we use the term ‘average’ we don’t see much that is positive about it. What is ‘average’? By…
Achieving a work – life balance is an important aspect of mental wellbeing and can easily become out of sync without us even realising it, particularly when we are feeling under significant pressure from one of these two areas – in other words, stressed. This imbalance can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety ….