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The Pandemic and the Emerging Mental Health Epidemic

There is a lot of talk about how Covid-19 and the resulting lockdown cycles are causing a mental health crisis in the UK. This blog aims to unpack and list some of the reasons why the response to the pandemic is also causing a mental health epidemic amongst us.

This year has been very hard on most of us, personally and professionally. I don’t think I have come across anyone who has not been negatively impacted by the pandemic and resulting lockdown cycles since last March. The pandemic and deaths resulting from Covid-19 are only one aspect of this crisis. The efforts to avoid death and transmission, not overwhelm the health service, and its resulting policies, in conjunction with how the Covid narrative is portrayed in the media, is what is driving the mental health crisis.

Before the pandemic hit, we were already living and dealing with normal day to day challenges linked with work, relationships, raising children, making decisions, caring for relatives, ageing and death, etc, etc. As psychotherapists, we listen to and work with these challenges everyday. The pandemic has added another layer to pre-existing issues in society, exacerbating them for everyone through the fear of death, loss, survival and health anxieties, to name a few issues which are both specifically linked to the pandemic but also issues to do with being human.

It has even become difficult to distinguish whether some of the difficulties experienced are linked to Covid or not. For instance, relationship issues which were pre-existing became exacerbated during lockdown and having to work together to home school children. Or someone with an already high level of health anxiety becomes even more anxious about becoming infected with Covid and isolates themselves even further from others.

There was a big drive to bring more awareness to mental health issues in UK society before any of us even heard of Covid-19. A large number of people were already experiencing pressures on their mental health through a variety of factors, which have now become more exacerbated through the fear of death and transmission, confinement at home, business closures, lack of outlet with entertainment venues, cafes, leisure and restaurants closed.

We have lost a large proportion of our social connections due to not being able to meet socially and professionally as we used to. Even small daily exchanges which used to make us feel more socially connected have been taken away, such as a visit to a local shop or the hairdresser.

The list is endless: Professionals who derive their identity and social contacts through work and running their businesses and had to close them, the elderly who were already lonely and have now become even more isolated, workers in the gig economy who were already struggling to survive and are now out of work, parents who were already under pressure and now have to home school as well. The list goes on…

It is vital that enough mental health support is available. In my work as a therapist, I acknowledge the collective impact in society yet focus on how it affects people on an individual level. We are all fighting our own battles at the moment, each one is dealing with a separate set of challenges pertinent to their life circumstances. It is vital for us to acknowledge and talk about what is troubling us and not just “get through”.

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Sam Jahara, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

Sam Jahara is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Transactional Analyst and Superviser with a special interest in working with issues linked to cultural identity and a sense of belonging. She works with individuals and couples in Hove and Lewes.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

How Psychotherapy can Help Shape a Better World

Getting the most of your online therapy sessions

How Psychotherapy will be vital in helping people through the Covid-19 crisis

Leaving the Family

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Love and family

The family is our first social group. It is the crucible in which our passions are born and our capacities to love and to live are shaped – and mis-shaped. The family imbues its members with its own specific culture, habits and attitudes.

As an organism it too is shaped by the cultural moment and the social environment, the hopes, fears and attitudes of the day. It is the bedrock of our most durable and intense emotions and the fertile soil of our satisfactions and discontents. The family reconfigures with each new life that enters and exits. Constantly changing, constantly staying the same it is both dynamic and flexible, coded and predictable. We are all indelibly touched, one way or another by its authority. We learn to love in the context of ‘family’, each in our own idiosyncratic way. Every family has its own cast of characters ((step)parents, grandparents, (step) siblings, aunts, uncles etc). All players in a unique drama. Family is a stage where universal themes are navigated, power, sex and money, hierarchy and democracy, passion and ambivalence, in all their dark, tumultuous, devastating and innocuous glory.

Universal themes

From Greek myth to Shakespearean tragedy, the depths and breadth of family relations provide a turbulent, brooding backdrop to moral, ethical and philosophical considerations of a universal scale. So often in these epic tales we are reminded what an unruly emotion love is, indeed how uncomfortably close it resides to its shadowy counterpoint hate. Disowning his most beloved youngest daughter Cordelia, King Lear in a fit of vanity and rage is consumed by a vengeful hate, abdicating love and reason in its wake he casts her out. Her failure to satisfy his insatiable need for flattery and primacy, to go against her own nature, disrupts their bond, unleashes chaos and eventual tragedy. This is an epic tale of family conflicts, of power, love and greed. Most family dramas do not play out on such a grand scale, but remain hidden in the shadows of secrecy, shame and trauma, creating a legacy that can trickle (or cascade) down through generations to come.

Changing Families

Whilst the major human themes endure in families across generations, the architecture of family life and living is continually changing with the socio political and economic tides. Every generation spawns its own raft of experts on the family and its constituent members, from the institutions of religion, state, medical and social science and philosophy. The current moment in particular is one in which the couple is the central organising pillar upon which the success of the family depends. Bred in ever smaller numbers, the modern child is also a major focus of scrutiny and opinion. As the birth rate has decreased so children’s value has increased. Parents invest heavily in their offspring financially, emotionally, educationally etc. We dedicate ourselves to their health and happiness, often discounting our own in the process. As an antidote to our high tech fast moving, demanding lives we create a utopia of childhood and perhaps (without knowing) locate many of our own unmet hopes and passions in our beloved and precious innocents.

Love them or hate them (and indeed it is within our families that we learn about both) idealise or reject them it is within the context of family that we learn about the social world and our place in it. It is in this original grouping that we have our first experience of grief and loss, it is where we learn to trust (or not) and to express (or inhibit) our desires. Family life is fraught with misunderstandings and pain and is the vessel in which our virtues are forged, kindness, loyalty generosity and fortitude. Interestingly, even when we grow up and leave them we will, most often seek out another with whom we wish to form a family. At this very particular COVID moment we are all forced to reconsider what family means to us.

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Gerry Gilmartin, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Gerry Gilmartin is an accredited, registered and experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor. She currently works with individuals (young people/adults) and couples in private practice. Gerry is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

 

Further reading by Gerry Gilmartin

Understanding sexual fantasy

Fear and hope in the time of Covid

Relationships, networks and connections

Paying attention to stress

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

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What shapes us?

We all have key figures in our lives, people who either held or hold great importance because of their positive impact on our professional and personal lives. They may have been people who we are either personally or professionally connected to, such as parents, siblings, friends, family members, or teachers, bosses, coaches, therapists and work colleagues, to name a few.

These people become so important to us because we internalise their qualities and also their positive messages to us, whether they were implicit or explicit, verbal or non-verbal.

Therapists are keenly aware that some key elements need to be present in our work in order for a positive relationship to form. We know that many who come to therapy do so because of breakdown or absence of relationship early on, which we can also understand as a scarcity or total absence of some key elements listed below:

Interest and Curiosity

To feel seen, heard and to perceive sense of curiosity towards oneself from another, which is engaged, honest and encourages mutual trust. Delight, enjoyment and even surprise in the exchanges that take place.

Attunement

Usually used in the context of a parent-child relationship, but the word is also used in other contexts. Attunement is a quality where the other person ‘tunes in’ to another, almost as if trying to absorb and understand what the other is communicating on a deeper level. Attuning entails putting oneself aside to hear how the other views and experiences the world.

Consistency

Consistent love and care is something children need in order to feel emotionally and psychologically safe. This continues to be the case for adults, albeit in a different way. The consistency in the care of others is what gives us a sense of belonging and therefore a sense of safety in the world.

Commitment

To feel the commitment of another to a relationship is another form of consistency, but also one that affirms that “I am here for you” or “You can count on me”. This doesn’t not mean that the other won’t disappoint at times or will always be available. But they let you know that you can rely on their commitment to you as a friend, partner or in an ongoing professional relationship, such as the regular long-term commitment of psychotherapy, for instance.

Time

Related to the two above in that there needs to be a consistent time commitment in order for any relationship to work. The gift of time cannot be underestimated, especially in today’s world. With time, important conversations take place, people get to know one another and things are allowed to unfold. We feel valued and important when others make time to be with us.

Connection

Of course this can’t be forced. We either feel connected or we don’t. However, all of the qualities above are conducive to developing a connection with another. Some people are better than others at connecting, both to themselves and therefore to other people. But there are times when the chemistry between individuals exists in a way in which can’t be explained. Some of these formed connections stay with us for a very long time, if not forever.

What are other qualities that you see as essential to forming a positive bond with someone? I look forward to your thoughts.

 

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Sam Jahara, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

Sam Jahara is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist with a special interest in working with issues linked to cultural identity and a sense of belonging. She works with individuals and couples in Hove and Lewes.

 

Further reading by Sam Jahara

How Psychotherapy can Help Shape a Better World

Getting the most of your online therapy sessions

How Psychotherapy will be vital in helping people through the Covid-19 crisis

Leaving the Family

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

Online Bereavement Therapy

Grieving is an emotional, psychological and physical response to losing someone we’re close to. It can be an unsettling experience and many people feel as though something is wrong or missing from their life. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grief outline the core emotions as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But there are countless other emotions you may feel as a result of losing someone, which can make it confusing to comprehend.

What is Online Bereavement Therapy?

Online bereavement therapy can be beneficial in helping you cope with your loss and come to accept what has happened. You’ll speak with a trained counsellor who has experience in helping people grieve and the issues that surround bereavement.

Since grief is often accompanied by feelings that are similar to depression, it can be all too easy to rely on anti-depressants to heal you. But this can often mask the impact of grief and delay the grieving process, causing more harm than good.

Online therapy will enable you to work through what has happened and come to terms with it. A counsellor can also help you understand that grieving is not a neat process and even after you’ve accepted your loss, you may still have difficult periods occur in the future. Your therapy may last several months or even longer – it all depends on the individual and how they process such events.

How Can Bereavement Therapy Help Me?

Some people find comfort in talking about how they feel, while others may find it difficult to talk about their emotions and withdraw from those around them. Grieving is incredibly tough, but you don’t need to feel as though you’re on your own. Offloading your worries and feelings onto someone else can be beneficial and help you work through the stages of grief.

Online bereavement therapy can help you during this mourning process – you’ll have the support of a trained professional and everything you discuss with them will remain completely confidential. It can help to discuss your loss and identify the emotions you’re feeling, whether it’s sadness, anger, guilt or helplessness.

Your counsellor can also help you in learning to live without the person you’ve lost, something that can be daunting. With the support of a counsellor, you’ll soon realise just how common and natural your responses to grief are which can make these emotions easier to deal with.

If you want to talk to our team, contact us today or take a look at our practitioners.

All the content on this page has been reviewed and vetted by Mark Vahrmeyer UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Superviser and Co-Founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy. For any questions or more information about the subjects discussed on this page please contact us.


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Helping children to ride the waves of big emotions

Quite a few people this week have asked me about tips for supporting children at times of high emotional stress (e.g. anger, rage or anxiety). For this reason, I thought I would share with you some generic pointers for parents that I use in clinic, but which could apply to most children. These are predominantly drawn from the principles of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP), which you may have heard of.

1. When a child is calm, help them to understand that emotions (of any kind) are a bit like waves… they rise, they peak and they fall. They come and they go, but they DO eventually end.

2. When a child (or their parent) notices that they are starting to become distressed (or to ‘fall out of their window of optimum arousal’), they can be supported to try the TIPP approach:

T = TEMPERATURE
Helping a child to change their body temperature (e.g. by splashing the face with cold water or eating or drinking something cold) can help them calm, as the body naturally gets hotter when distressed or aroused.

I = INTENSE EXERCISE
Engaging in intense exercise to match the level of emotional arousal (e.g. star jumps or running) provides a healthy outlet for anxious tension. – Ideally this should be a rhythmic exercise as it is more likely to activate a child’s earliest neural pathways of feeling soothed from when they were rocked as babies.

P = PACED BREATHING
Slow breathing, concentrating on their breath and (importantly) breathing out for longer than they breathe in, helps children to regulate the bodies. This is because longer exhalation naturally slows their heart rate and activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), which in turn helps the body to calm.

PAIRED MUSCLE RELAXATION
Supporting a child to tense and then relax parts of their body, supports muscles to release tension. Relaxed muscles require less oxygen, so heart rate and breathing naturally start to slow down.

3. Having a calm box – Supporting a child to develop a pre-prepared box of all their favourite textures, smells, photos, games, sensory toys, etc., can be a lovely way to start to talk about emotions with a child and help them to feel a sense of self-efficacy in managing their own emotions. As time goes on, a child might start to ask for their box before becoming overly distressed.

4. Parental matching of the affect – When a child’s brain is distressed, it regresses to a much earlier developmental form of itself, whereby it does not register language or logic in the same ways. For this reason, a parent needs to ‘match’ the emotional intensity of the child in their non-verbal behaviours (e.g. when a child is shouting: using a loud (but not angry) voice, using BIG physical gestures, maintaining intense eye contact, etc.). The very act of ‘mirroring’ a child to themselves helps them to feel held and contained. The parent can then gradually lower their voice and soften their gestures, which the child will match in turn. I think of this as ’emotional hand holding’.

5. Having a cuddle – Following an emotional outburst, close physical connection instigated by a safe adult, is one of the most soothing and regulatory activities to do with a child to bring them back into a state of optimum arousal. It also enables them to learn that no matter what they have done or said, they are still loved, which is so important for developing a secure and healthy attachment. Once they are physically and emotionally calm, you might then want to talk about the actual behaviour if this needs to be addressed, however, the key is…’Connection before Correction!’!

I hope that you find some of these tools helpful. It is of course important to note, however, that what causes (and maintains) emotional distress in children can vary hugely from child to child. It is also important to note that for some children, what causes and maintains their distress can be very hard to determine. In such cases, parents should feel empowered to seek professional advice regarding a targeted assessment of their children’s specific needs.

Happy surfing everyone…!

To enquire about psychotherapy sessions with Dr Laura Tinkl, please contact her here, or to view our full clinical team, please click here.

 

Dr Laura Tinkl is a Senior Chartered Clinical Psychologist, professionally accredited by both the Health and Social Care Professions Council (HCPC) and The British Psychological Society (BPS). Appointments can be made in the Lewes Practice.

 

Further reading by Dr Laura Tinkl

Why behavioural approaches do not work for all children

Tips for talking to young children about their behaviour

Parenting Styles

‘Ghosts in the Nursery’ – The Power of Family Scripts

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