How our brain changes in psychotherapy Many of the things we want in life can now be found very quickly and without struggle. When we think about emotional change, it can be seductive to believe that the same rules should apply; meet with a therapist, take away some quick answers and leave a new person….
Everybody loves Christmas. That’s a fact. At least if you watch how it is portrayed by the media and subscribe to the collective mania of ‘preparing for the big day’………. Of course, the reality is that many of us find Christmas difficult and for some it can feel unbearable. We have the statistics for this…
What is NVR? Non Violent Resistance (NVR) is a powerful, relational approach that supports parents facing violence, aggression, controlling behaviour, or destructive family dynamics. It is equally valuable for families who feel overwhelmed, depleted, or stuck in unhelpful patterns, even when violence is not present. At its heart, NVR helps families recognise unhelpful dynamics, build…
For some children, school is a place of growth, friendship, and discovery. For others, however, walking through the gates each morning can feel like an uphill climb. The school day may seem long, and the combination of lessons, friendships, and expectations can stir emotions that children find difficult to express. Parents often notice the signs…
The new Netflix series Adolescence has sparked conversation for its raw portrayal of teenage life and family tension. As an NVR practitioner for the past nine years, I’ve come to realise that I view my world now through an NVR lens. As I was watching the show I was struck by its affirmation of a…
Non-violent resistance (NVR) is a hugely effective, forward-looking and relational approach which helps parents to un pick what is happening in the family, to begin to recognise and disrupt entrenched patterns of interaction and to break down the barriers which stand in the way of change. In so doing, parents, who might start the work…
Psychotherapy was revolutionised in the second half of the last century by the development of attachment theory, the science of human bonding and needs. I wrote about this in my BHP blog ‘Why we need a secure base’. It describes how infants who do not have their primary needs met – for comfort, warmth and…
Twixtmas, that time between Christmas and New Year seems to be a particularly difficult time for many. Why is this? The build up to Christmas and the accompanying excitement for some, and anxiety for many, can leave us feeling depleted and down in the immediate aftermath of the big day. Perhaps a lot of why…
As the holiday season descends upon us like a glittering, tinsel-laden avalanche, many find themselves navigating the tricky or sometimes treacherous emotional landscape of family gatherings. Fear not, dear reader, for psychoanalytic psychotherapy could offer a guiding star, a beacon of hope to lead you through the holiday chaos to that peaceful Nativity scene, stable…
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. These lines open Philip Larkin’s best-known poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. I still remember our English…
Transference is a complicated process and concept. This article attempts to describe it in simple terms, focussing on a basic understanding and highlighting why it is felt to be so important in analytic psychotherapies. I will end by thinking about how it can emerge and be used in both individual and group therapy. What are…
Children who have been neglected and/or abused live to one degree or another with a lifelong legacy which can impact every aspect of their lives. Depending on the severity of abuse and neglect, the impact on the relationship with self and others will be significant and show up in many ways. I have written previously…