Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be. Yet like the weather fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts, for many of us, our family experience often falls far short of the loving idyllic family reunions…
“Social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us regulate our emotions, lead to higher self-esteem and empathy, and actually improve our immune systems. By neglecting our need to connect, we put our health at risk.” JS House, KR Landis, D Umberson (2019) Social connection can be difficult to do right now as we find…
When we are feeling depressed it is common to withdraw from those that we are close to, to shut ourselves away, turn down social invitations and generally pull away from friends and family. By doing this we are refusing the help and support of others, possibly because we feel bad about ourselves or that we…
Who wants to be ordinary? The word has unpleasant connotations; like something that offers little that is good or substantial. And yet it is a word I often think about and return to in my clinical practice. It could even be one of the primary goals of therapy: to become ordinary. In the world today…
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be. Yet like the weather fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts, for many of us, our family experience often falls far short of the loving idyllic family reunions…
From ‘the family’ to ‘the couple’ There has been a historical shift from ‘the family’ to ‘the couple’ as the central organising unit in contemporary life, with an emphasis on intimate connection. The ‘ideal’ couple of today are both friends and lovers immersed in a disclosing intimacy of mind and body. For previous generations, the…
It is notable that people seeking therapy who would most stand to benefit from joining a therapy group are often the least keen to do so. For some people, difficulties with being part of a group are not the main reason they’re seeking therapy. However, the thought of being in a therapy group may be…
Often, couples get into a loop where they employ unhelpful behavioural patterns (or survival strategies) to mask their vulnerability. This triggers a similar response in their partner, who then becomes defensive and so on. For example, one person may feel abandoned or rejected, becoming reactive and critical as a result. In response, their partner feels…
What is shame? Shame is hard to talk about, as we tend to manage it through secrecy. We hide what we are most ashamed of about ourselves. Unfortunately, shame is bound up with our bodies and so moments of feeling ashamed can often be accompanied by physiological responses which feel exposing and so exacerbate our shame…
When learning to be dependent is necessary ‘Dependence’ is a term that can carry negative connotations. To be ‘dependent’ might imply that we are unable to function alone and that we are unable to be the agent of our own life. It can also be interpreted as subscribing to outdated ideologies of male/female gender roles…
“The person is comprehensible only within this tapestry of relationships, past and present” (Mitchell, 1988). Despite the great therapeutic benefits of psychotherapy groups, unfortunately they are sparsely offered within the therapeutic community. This may have something to do with the current focus on individual therapy, lack of will (or skill) of therapists in leading groups,…