Loving and longing can be frequently found in song lyrics nestled up alongside each other as though they are somehow related, however, I would suggest that psychologically they are very different and perhaps opposites, especially in the context of relationships. To understand longing, we need to understand desire. We can only desire that which we…
I was recently invited onto the Podcast ‘Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri’ to talk about the topic of ‘Belonging’. The discussion centred around our mutual experience of growing up in cultures that were not of our families of origin. Annalisa is technically a ‘second culture kid’, and I am a ‘third culture kid’ – the latter…
I feel lucky to live and work in a place where I am in contact with people of diverse cultural backgrounds. Many seek me out as a therapist to talk about their personal struggles with cultural identity and belonging. Difference is something which is deeply felt in one’s skin and bones and living in a…
In Psychotherapy people learn how to reflect more on their lives, choices, behaviours and feelings. This more thoughtful and reflective mode translates into how one sees her or his world and their place within it. We learn to feel more connected to ourselves and others, and to behave in more thoughtful ways as a…
After the long summer, thousands of new students are heading to university. The start of the academic year is an exciting time for many, but it can also be a difficult, worrying time for some. Students today are subject to different pressures from earlier generations – financial, academic, social – that didn’t affect previous students…
It is notable that people seeking therapy who would most stand to benefit from joining a therapy group are often the least keen to do so. For some people, difficulties with being part of a group are not the main reason they’re seeking therapy. However, the thought of being in a therapy group may be…
Throughout history, the institution of marriage and our understanding and expectations of committed relationships have shifted with the socio-political and economic tides. Where once marriage was primarily an economic arrangement to maintain patriarchy and secure lineage, by the end of the 19th century, new id eas about romantic love were emerging. Whilst love was not…
Like many of us, I have been emotionally moved and disturbed by recent political events. Concerns over the choice of US president, the rise of the far right in Europe and Brexit have been driving many of us towards social and political initiatives. I always believed that our work as therapists could make a real difference…
“The person is comprehensible only within this tapestry of relationships, past and present” (Mitchell, 1988). Despite the great therapeutic benefits of psychotherapy groups, unfortunately they are sparsely offered within the therapeutic community. This may have something to do with the current focus on individual therapy, lack of will (or skill) of therapists in leading groups,…
External and internal displacement Identity and belonging is something many of us struggle with, through displacement, relocation, extended periods living abroad but also through social oppression and a sense of being different and not fitting in. I used to think that the therapeutic journey was partially about finding ways of nourishing and loving oneself and…