Transference Love is the unconscious expression of longings, desires and hopes onto a person who ‘fits’ because of who they are and who you are to them. This mutuality of hoped for experiences, combined with sexual attraction, results in a powerful combination of emotions and physical desire which we call falling in love. In simple…
Perhaps a question that has occupied humans since the dawn of time, it may seem like an odd title for an article, however, the answer to this question in psychological terms is profound. What love is not Firstly, love is not really what most people believe it to be; the opposite of hate. Love can…
Loving and longing can be frequently found in song lyrics nestled up alongside each other as though they are somehow related, however, I would suggest that psychologically they are very different and perhaps opposites, especially in the context of relationships. To understand longing, we need to understand desire. We can only desire that which we…
(Adapted from a presentation given at the SEA conference November 2022) – (Part two) Speaking of life itself as a movement of becoming. Have we forgotten the isness and replaced it with beingness, an allegedly unified subject of self-consciousness, contained and stuck within a name or a label? Must knowledge be part of it, must…
(Adapted from a presentation given at the SEA conference November 2022) – (Part one) Anne Carson (1998) wrote, “‘Now’ is a gift from the gods and an access onto reality. To address yourself to the moment when Eros glances into your life and to grasp what is happening in your soul at that moment is…
“The passions, these “magnificent monsters” (Nietzsche, 1967, p. 521), can we consider them a gift in which something valuable can be learnt? Below is a consideration of the multiple, dynamic, creative and sometimes conflicting forces of energy that are often competing for dominance within us – what Fredrick Nietzsche sometimes described as ‘the passions’. Others…
Death like birth is a one off life event. We cannot learn through our experience of either to “get it right” next time. Love on the other hand (or the act of ‘falling in love’) is an event amenable to repetition. As such it is also available for re-definition by the forces of culture –…
In the latest issue of ‘The Psychotherapist’ Dr Geoff Warburton interviews Dr Harville Hendrix, co-founder of Imago relationship therapy and author of “Getting the Love you Want”. In the interview, Warburton asks Hendrix about his definition of love. Interestingly, the topic turns to anxiety. According to Hendrix, love is a sense of safety and connection,…