Stop the Boats! You may be familiar with this recent government slogan referring to the persistent behaviour of vulnerable people, risking their very lives in setting out to sea in search of a better future. For me, regardless of how any of us might respond to this slogan in terms of our values or … [Read more...]
Can Psychotherapy help Narcissists?
In my last two blogs on the topic of narcissism, I have covered off what narcissism is (and is not), and provided my perspective on whether we are, collectively, becoming more narcissistic.In this final blog (for now) on this topic, I shall offer my perspective on the commonly asked question of … [Read more...]
Do you have Unrelenting Standards?
Put another way, is getting anything less than 100% not acceptable to you, and a trigger for uncomfortable feelings of failure, of not being good enough, of self-criticism, self-doubt and shame?In my experience as a psychotherapist, a personal drive for perfection is often the root cause of … [Read more...]
Cultivating a Tolerance for Uncertainty
The 13th century Persian poet Rumi invites us to wait in the unknown in his well known poem Guest House, to wait and see what transformations might occur.This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an … [Read more...]
Subjective Perception, Shared Experience
Nel Tuo Tempo…….In Your YimeThe artist Olafur Eliasson’s exhibition 'Nel Tuo Tempo' was described as addressing the ‘subjective perception and shared experience’ of a Florentine building.He did this using light, colour and shadow. Some of the twenty exhibits were complex structures, others … [Read more...]
Are we Becoming more Narcissistic?
We are living in the age of narcissism - or so the media would like us to believe. People in The West seem to be focussed largely on themselves and the pursuit of happiness - the answer to which for increasing numbers of the populace is to be found in the soundbites of TikTok celebrities or from the … [Read more...]
The Psychological Impact on Children who Grow Up in Cults
I have just watched the latest Netflix docu series “How to Become a Cult Leader?” and was pleased to see that images of the cult I grew up in appear in it with frequency, because it means it is undoubtedly and widely recognised as a cult. Familiar images of the cult leader doing “energy darshans” … [Read more...]
What Psychological Processes make us ‘Choke Under Pressure’?
It is a process whereby our bodies experience environmental stressors as a threat to our physical survival, thereby releasing stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. This is an essential part of all mammal’s fear or threat response, which has become maladaptive in the modern world, as the … [Read more...]
Having Healthy Conversations with Men about the Menopause
The menopause is an important life transition for women. In more recent years there has been more awareness about the menopause, meaning women are more willing to talk about it with each other and their partners. The question is what is the best way to talk about the menopause with your partner, … [Read more...]
What is Narcissism?
Since the time of Sigmund Freud, clinical terms around psychology have made their way into everyday language. Narcissism is no exception to this and yet it stands in a category of its own for both how ubiquitous it has become in popular culture, alongside also being so misunderstood.Frequently … [Read more...]
Finding Contentment in the Age of Discontent
The official definition of contentment is “freedom from worry or restlessness: peaceful satisfaction”. I would define contentment as a state of inner quiet and peace, and a satisfaction with oneself and with life. This is not linked to material satisfaction, which is usually temporary and … [Read more...]
The Medicalisation of Mental Distress
The foundation of the paradigm shift in how we now view mental health, or as I prefer to consider to consider my field, emotional distress, is one where the problem is increasingly located in the individual as a disorder, rather than in the environment that the individual finds themselves.The … [Read more...]
What Causes Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem stems from beliefs that we have about ourselves, a negative self-evaluation which is usually rooted in childhood experiences. The way we were spoken to, treated, and made to feel as children has a significant impact on how we see and therefore relate to ourselves later in life. Some … [Read more...]
Is Spirituality an Escape from Reality?
Spirituality is an important part of our existence. It can provide meaning and purpose, give us a sense of well-being and peace, and provide a philosophical way of being that gives us an ethical code and a way of dealing with adversity. Additionally, it is an important part of personal development … [Read more...]
Is Desire Spontaneous?
“Dr Meades asks Daphne how she can help. ‘It’s rather personal dear.’ Dr Meades smiles encouragingly, … ‘You see I’m about to embark on a love affair. It hasn’t quite begun yet, but it will be … well, frankly, quite a passionate business.’ Dr Meades’s face retained its amiable smile. Only her … [Read more...]
