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Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy

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A Dramatherapist at work in the sand tray

 

Dramatherapy is one of a group of therapies which are called Creative Arts Therapies, along with Music therapy and Art therapy. Today I am going to explore one aspect of Dramatherapy.

We usually come to therapy to talk.  Dramatherapy, has the capacity to go beyond the talking because it is creative.

Dramatherapy becomes useful in the therapy space when it is used as a way of illustrating  the talking which takes place between the client and therapist. This illustration provides another way (a container) for the client to find meaning in their experiences and in their sense of self.

How is this?

Mostly when we seek therapy we expect to be talking. As a dramatherapist I am always alert to opportunities within the talking,  opportunities to explore  those things for which there are no words-maybe those things that happened to us before we spoke,  or those painful experiences, things that we want to actively or unconsciously deny, or perhaps a dream, or an illness.  In other words those things that are not part of our everyday cognitive knowing.

And this is where creativity comes in. When we are creative we are tapping into the right side of our brain which is very different from the left side.  Simply speaking the right brain does not have the same rules of logical thought and sequential time. It receives and processes information and experience very differently. For us to be able to connect and communicate with the rich wisdom of the right brain we need to use a medium which represents (re-presents) our experience to us in a different way.

Sand tray is such a medium which can re-present a situation or experience. The placing of objects in the sandtray is intuitive, there is no right or wrong, only personal and individual interpretation.

In my work with a particular client who suffered from chronic anxiety, we explored her early pre-verbal experience as a way of understanding the roots of the anxiety.  She made sandtrays of her early years showing scenes of confinement, of heaviness, weight and pressure. Over the weeks she interpreted her created scenes to me, her witness. Through this witnessed process she was able to articulate her pain for the first time. As her feelings emerged and as she became more emotionally open her anxiety lessened.

In my experience this precious work continues outside of the therapy room, bringing a richness of new experience and self -understanding.  Through this work I see clients growing in self-confidence which I think is born from coming to know the self more fully and  profoundly.

If you are interested to know more about dramatherapy and how it may be of help to you, do contact me.

 

Magdalena Whitehouse is an experienced HCPC Registered Drama Therapist, working with individuals, couples and groups.

 

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Is growing up in a different culture always a good thing?

The world today seems smaller than ever before.  We think nothing of travelling to once exotic destinations for our annual holiday and more and more of us are choosing to live in countries other than that of our birth.

Alongside these effects of globalisation is that of children who are now growing up in cultures other than that of their parents and yet remaining to varying degrees apart from the culture of the country they live in.  These children are known as Third Culture Kids.

What defines a Third Culture Kid?

The term Third Culture Kids (TCKs) was first defined in the 1950’s to give a classification and understanding to American children growing up outside of the United States.  Technically it refers to a child who is likely to have parents (or a parent) who are working in a foreign country (or countries) for a period of time and the child therefore spends a significant part of their development; they therefore neither really belong to their original nor host culture and are therefore defined as being of a ‘third culture’.

Effects of globalisation

More and more children are growing up as TCKs as people think less and less of living and working in other cultures and countries.  The benefits of being a TKD are obvious if not always ubiquitous: TCKs learn to mix with other cultures; they frequently speak multiple languages; they are more likely to undertake a degree and can easily feel at home anywhere.

So, are there only positives?

Put simply, no.  If a child grows up as a TCK and has a ‘secure base’ – is securely attached to their caregivers – then the experience can often be largely positive though still comes with a price such as a loss of belonging, limited contact with wider family, confused loyalties etc.

However, if a child has a less than ‘good enough’ home environment then the experience of being a TCK can exacerbate their lack of boundaries and can make neglect and/or abuse more likely as there is no wider family network or community to care for the child.

It takes a village to raise a child

In my clinical work I have come across individuals who have survived extremely neglectful or virtually non-existent parenting, who have nonetheless managed to locate enough consistency in adults around them in order to be OK.  In other words, there is great truth and wisdom to the old adage that it takes a village to raise a child and often, the village is the container and parent for the child where their biological parents have failed them.

Third culture kids and loss

Loss is a key aspect of growing up as a TCK.  There is often the initial loss of ‘home; to overcome – house, town, culture, extended family, friends, identity – which can be a significant shock in itself.

However, the losses continue to define TCKs as it is extremely likely that if they are growing up as part of an expatriate community, friends, teachers and familiar faces will come and go fairly frequently as contracts end and jobs take the adults elsewhere in the globe.  This can be a particular challenge when it comes to the frequent and ongoing loss of friends which is often the hardest part of a TCKs experience.

On a psychological level the losses combined with a lack of cultural embeddedness and identity can lead to difficulty in settling down, committing and fitting in.  This can then translate to anxiety, depression and a sense of free-floating dread.

A rolling stone gathers no moss

Third Culture Kids can grow up to become Global Nomads relishing the confidence that being able to settle anywhere brings to them.  However, this is also often not the case and TCKs can oscillate between a dread of not belonging versus a fear of putting roots down and building an ordinary life with substance.

As with most experiences, whether something is positive, or negative is so very often contingent on how secure a child feels in the relationship with their parents.  With a secure base, we feel safe enough to venture further from home, even when that means exploring other cultures.

Mark Vahrmeyer is a UKCP registered psychotherapist and a self-defined Third Culture Kid who, by the age of 12, had attended 10 schools across five countries.  He speaks four languages and is attuned to working with Third Culture Kids, Global Nomads and Existential Migrants, as well as anyone struggling with cross-cultural experiences. Mark sees clients in Hove and Lewes.

 

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What causes insomnia?

Insomnia is defined as being a habitual, or regular, inability to sleep.

Whilst it can be linked to medical conditions, the most common causes of insomnia are lifestyle related as well as anxiety, depression and stress related.

With regards to anxiety, depression and stress, insomnia is not only caused by these conditions, but it further exacerbates them too creating a vicious circle.

What can I do to help with my insomnia?

Improve your sleep hygiene

Sleep hygiene is a term used to describe a holistic approach to sleeping encompassing who you are as an individual and your sleep environment. Improving sleep hygiene involves thinking about where you sleep, how you sleep and what may work best for you.  Sometimes this will involve a degree of experimentation, for example, do you sleep better with the window open or closed? 

Stick to a routine of sleeping and waking

Research has shown that we are biologically predisposed to sleep and wake at the same time each day, ideally in synch with the setting and rising of the sun.  Whilst the latter is a far cry from modern life, coming up with a routine and sticking to it can be extremely beneficial to both your sleep patterns as well as your physical health.

Avoid stimulants

We all know that caffeine and alcohol will impact on the quantity and quality of our sleep.  However, watching a disturbing drama right before going to bed – or the news – can have an enormous impact on the ability for us to get to sleep.  It is much better to consume the news in the morning when we have the mental capacity and waking hours to digest it.

Why do anxiety and depression make insomnia worse?

Anxiety and depression are two seemingly different mental health problems that frequently find themselves side-by-side in the same sentence.  This is because they are essentially two-sides of the same coin.

Anxiety is an uncomfortable (at times, unbearable) feeling that gives us the sense that all is not well with the world.  It is an ordinary element of being a human being and many scholars believe that we are ‘cursed’ with anxiety due to our (largely unconscious) awareness that we are going to die.

Anxiety causes restlessness and many people deal with anxiety by channeling it into activity – something that fails when it comes to going to bed.  Anxiety is often described as ‘free-floating’ and will seek to attach itself to something.  We can then convince ourselves that the ‘thing’ our anxiety has attached to is the real problem, however, this is rarely the case.

Depression is a state of inertia but an uncomfortable one.  Anxiety (and stress) can have the function of protecting us from depression, however, eventually anxiety will give way to the hopelessness of depression.  One may think that sleep would come easily in a state of depression but this is often not the case as hopelessness can feel unbearable.

Can counselling or psychotherapy help with insomnia?

If a client presented with insomnia than I would want to understand what may be causing the insomnia and to work with the client to gain a deeper understanding of what their feelings may be telling them – particularly any anxiety or depression.

Whilst anxiety is a normal element of being a human being, it should not be debilitating and an ideal is to engage in a meaningful life whereby the anxiety is channelled in a healthy way. 

Alongside this is a deepening of the relationship with ourselves in order to learn to better tolerate difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

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What is Social Unconsciousness?

Social unconsciousness is a term used by Earl Hopper to describe the effect of living in a world where we are connected by our common histories, culture and social, political and economic environment.   

But how does this affect us? With so much taking place in our ever-changing world, this has a place in our experiences in the present such as Brexit as well as in our past.  When it then comes to looking at the therapeutic relationship we have, the focus tends to be on our close relationships.  Very rarely do we take time to look at our minds and the effects it has on it.

It is clear however, that economics does determine whether we can reach our potential.  The daily commentary on Brexit is primarily focused on the damage of fiscal instability on wealth, employment and the ability of the state to provide for those unable to look after themselves.  This is turn creates fear and division resulting in anxiety, which, as a community we are suffering from. All this change creates dissonance which we need to learn to tolerate and adapt too.  In a pluralistic society, psychological robustness is essential as we need to tolerate living and coping with the differences.

It is often questioned if part of the increased level of mental illness is due to the disturbances in the social matrix?  Does it form part of our experience of the social unconsciousness?  I personally wonder if social media and its potential to invade our personal space means we are unprotected from the outpourings of hatred, once confined to the mind where these thoughts can be reflected upon but has now spilt out onto the page for all to see.

We all need to take a moment and remember that not everything has to be shared publicly.  We need to reflect on contextualization and take time to examine it against reality and critical thinking.  The clinical space, its boundaries of time and location, can provide the holding and containing for our disturbance and anxiety in order to gain a better understanding of ourselves.

Thea Beech is a UKCP registered Group Analyst, full member of the Institute of Group Analysis and a Training Group Analyst.  Her work in psychodynamic psychotherapy spans 20 years in the NHS and for the last 10 years overseas in South Africa.  Thea is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

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Psychotherapy can change your life – but you may not want it to

Anyone who is or has been in “psychotherapy proper” will tell you that it can be really hard work.

First, you begin by telling a total stranger about the most intimate things in your life. Things you never even said out loud because it was all too difficult to admit to yourself, let alone to another human being.

Then, you find out that most things you were taught about yourself growing up turn out to not be true. Well, that’s a relief in most cases, especially since many of us are taught to believe pretty horrible and untrue things about ourselves like: “you’re stupid”, or “you’ll amount to nothing”, or something a bit subtler like “your sister is the good one”.

Next, you are encouraged to feel things you haven’t or couldn’t feel before because no one cared or knew how to deal with it. So, once you start learning that the stuff you swallowed in your childhood was more about your parent’s inadequacy rather than anything to do with you, you begin to feel pretty angry about this, or sad, or disappointed, etc

All of this inevitably leads to the painful realisation that your early life wasn’t as rosy as you thought it was, and therefore you are now feeling very anxious or depressed about seemingly unrelated things like work or your relationship.  This then leads to more mourning of the loss of good experiences that you never had. And because you can’t go back in time and no one else can make up for these experiences, you then have to gradually come to terms with it.

Of course, this is all very uncomfortable and plus it turns your world completely upside down, which you weren’t expecting at all cause you just came here to talk to a lady (or man) with a nice face and (hopefully) a soothing voice.

But then, because you are feeling all this sad and angry stuff that you never felt before, you realize that you are also feeling other things, like relieved and happy. And that over time, you feel more and more alive and happy than sad and miserable.

This leads to you being more attractive to other people and them wanting to spend more time with you because you are a nicer and more interesting person.

You also get more secure in yourself and find better work, which in turn leads you to feeling even better about things and, oh gosh – a positive loop begins!

But of course, being sad and miserable has its advantages. People feel sorry for you and they try to rescue you. Plus, you don’t have to make any fundamental changes or feel very uncomfortable feelings and make some difficult realizations. It’s the devil you know, right?

Well, being in psychotherapy might change your life for good – it’s up to you whether you want to.

(P.S. The process of psychotherapy can take many different avenues, depending on what you are bringing and where you want to go. The above is only one general example).

Sam Jahara is UKCP Registered, CTA, PTSTA and is one of the Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Co-founders.  She is a Transactional Analysis Psychotherapist with experience of working with individuals and couples in short and long-term therapy. Sam is available at our Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

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