The problem: insight that doesn’t change feeling Over many years of working as a psychotherapist, I have noticed a recurring moment in the consulting room. A client will pause, often with a mixture of frustration and self-doubt, and say something like: ‘I know all this already. I understand where it comes from. But it still…
In the therapy room, shame – which we often hide, almost at any cost – frequently hinders progress. Clients sometimes conceal aspects of their behaviour they fear are shameful, such as viewing pornography, taking class A drugs, or losing their temper. This is because it is perhaps one of the most intense and complex feelings…
EMDR has become one of the most talked-about psychotherapy treatments – and for good reason. Extensive research has shown that it is one of the most effective approaches developed so far for trauma and chronic pain. It is recommended by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE). The acronym stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and…
For many people the word ‘homework’ stirs up rather negative memories of being forced to stay in when the sun was shining, or toiling over the complexities of maths equations rather than enjoying computer gaming or other hobbies. But in psychotherapy, engaging in relevant tasks connected with mental wellbeing during the week between sessions can…
Psychotherapy was revolutionised in the second half of the last century by the development of attachment theory, the science of human bonding and needs. I wrote about this in my BHP blog ‘Why we need a secure base’. It describes how infants who do not have their primary needs met – for comfort, warmth and…
Can talking to an empty chair help ease our mental distress and help make us more positive and confident? It may seem a strange idea, but evidence has been accumulating for more than ninety years that it can. The techniques involved, initially called ‘psychodrama’, originated in 1930s New York. They were refined in the 1950s…
Anger. We all experience it, most of us fear it in others – and also in ourselves because the process of being angry is uncomfortable and exhausting. But why do we get angry and how can psychotherapy help us deal with it more effectively? Sam Jahara has covered anger management in in other BHP blogs….
Put another way, is getting anything less than 100% not acceptable to you, and a trigger for uncomfortable feelings of failure, of not being good enough, of self-criticism, self-doubt and shame? In my experience as a psychotherapist, a personal drive for perfection is often the root cause of distress in many of those seeking therapy….
At the heart of the process of psychotherapy is trying to see more clearly what our basic needs as human beings are and how they can be met. Most clients seeking treatment are feeling uncomfortable because of difficulties in this domain. The sense of discomfort is often compounded because, without help, it can be hard…