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August 21, 2017 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

If you don’t like groups, could it be time to join one?

It is notable that people seeking therapy who would most stand to benefit from joining a therapy group are often the least keen to do so.

For some people, difficulties with being part of a group are not the main reason they’re seeking therapy. However, the thought of being in a therapy group may be problematic enough for them to turn down the chance to join one, even if this is recommended as the most helpful therapy for their particular issues.

There are also those whose difficulties with being part of a group present major obstacles in their lives. They may be prevented from making relationships and leading fulfilled social and working lives. Of course, it is understandable that a therapy group may feel the last place they want to be. However, group psychotherapy is likely to have the best impact in helping them overcome their social problems.

Below, I want to put the case for why those who hate/dislike/can’t stand/fear groups might still consider one as a therapy of choice.

Problems with groups

Groups are difficult. By their nature, groups can stir up intense feelings, often in a raw and sometimes unsettling way. It is natural and normal to feel anxious or even frightened in a new group situation, particularly one where you feel unknown or alone.

Some people find these uncomfortable feelings to be intolerable, and they struggle to get beyond the negative experiences of being in a group. This means they miss out on the very positive experiences of being part of a group, whether social, friendship, work or otherwise. Groups can also be wonderful, creating strong feelings of connection and belonging.

Chronic problems with groups often arise out of social or relationship difficulties. Unfortunately, any tendency to try to avoid them generally exacerbates feelings of loneliness and isolation. Repeatedly not allowing yourself to experience groups can make them feel even more bewildering and frightening when, inevitably, you find yourself in one.

Stressors and underlying factors

Some people find that group problems can manifest in all situations. For others, specific types of groups or settings are difficult. One person may be fine in small social groups but highly anxious in larger parties. Another person may feel that the anonymity of a larger group is safer than the pressure of intimacy and being in the ‘spotlight’ in a smaller gathering. Some people are relaxed in social situations but find work groups problematic, and so on.

It can be helpful to locate and explore where the difficulty in the group may be for you. For example, it could be that you find groups most difficult when you’re just with your peers. Alternatively, perhaps peer groups are fine until an authority figure joins in. Maybe both situations feel hard? Or neither, but something else?

Some people find that their anxieties are particularly stirred when they don’t feel sure of their position or role in a group. It is normal for us to want to know our place in groups. However, the potential loss of identity in groups can lead some individuals to taking unhelpful roles to feel secure. Some examples of these include always being the helper or listener, being the clown, staying silent, keeping on the edge, or performing all the time.

These kinds of ‘roles’ can often be traced back to the original family and the position or role given or taken up by us as children. These roles perhaps help the individual feel less insecure in a group, but can come at a cost, particularly when they become rigid and restrictive.

An inhibiting feeling sometimes associated with groups is shame. This often relates to earlier experiences of becoming conscious of having a public and private self and how these were responded to by others. Many group difficulties can be located in early groups, like the family, and school. Some can be clearly remembered, for example, bullying at school, while others might be less so. Sometimes, painful feelings and experiences from past groups that have been partly or fully buried can suddenly surface in group situations and feel overwhelming.

How do therapy groups help?

Therapy groups are deliberately made to feel safe.  This environment is created by having firm boundaries, confidentiality and a general commitment of all members to be supportive and helpful to each other. The experience of being in this kind of group can be reassuring if you usually find groups to be frightening, threatening, or potentially humiliating. Over time this can get absorbed and applied outside, so all group situations start to feel easier.

A therapy group can become like a laboratory for testing out and understanding the kinds of anxieties and feelings that certain group dynamics stir up. This allows you to become aware of how groups operate and how you respond. This can then be explored with the help of the other members in various ways.

Testing out new roles

As the group becomes a place where feelings and dynamics can be explored, it also becomes possible to test out other roles than those restrictive ones that have been taken in the past. So, for example, the ‘helper’ may be able to stand back and allow themselves to be helped. The ‘clown’ can be taken seriously. The silent member learns to use their voice. The person on the edge can be central at times, and the performer can give themselves a break. These shifts are connected to increased self-esteem as members realise they have value in all their aspects and a place in the group, whatever role they take up.

In conclusion

Most problems that bring people to therapy are, at root, connected to a difficulty at some point in their life with relationships. Very often, this includes earlier ones. It makes sense to explore these struggles through current relationships with others in the way that therapy groups allow and contain.

These are some examples of how therapy groups might help to develop a different experience of a group environment. A final point to make is that in our modern world, we have arguably become increasingly alienated from those around us. The therapy group places us firmly back in a social environment and reconnects us with each other. In this sense, it can potentially have therapeutic benefits for us all.

Claire Barnes is an experienced UKCP registered psychotherapist and group analyst offering psychodynamic counselling and psychotherapy to individuals and groups at our Hove practice.

Click here to listen to our podcast on this post.

Click here to download a PDF version of this post.

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Filed Under: Claire Barnes, Groups Tagged With: group therapy, Interpersonal relationships, self-development groups, sense of belonging

May 29, 2015 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

5 Reasons to Join a Therapy Group

“The person is comprehensible only within this tapestry of relationships, past and present” (Mitchell, 1988).

Despite the great therapeutic benefits of psychotherapy groups, unfortunately they are sparsely offered within the therapeutic community.  This may have something to do with the current focus on individual therapy, lack of will (or skill) of therapists in leading groups, or even a product of an increasingly individualistic society. Therapy groups, when well led and put together, are filled with potential for personal growth and development. Of course therapy groups aren’t for everyone and individual therapy may be a better option for many. But if you are curious about groups, here are some very good reasons to become part of one:

  1. It is an evidence-based form of psychotherapy

A vast body of outcome research (Yalom, 2005) has showed that group therapy is a highly effective form of psychotherapy and that it is at least equal to individual therapy in its power to provide significant benefit to clients.

  1. Universality Lessens Isolation

Many individuals enter therapy with the unsettling thought that they are alone with their problems. To some degree this is true in the uniqueness of the constellation of issues which we all experience. However, when this sense of uniqueness is heightened, it can severely affect our relationships and isolate ourselves from others. In a therapy group, the disconfirmation of this fact through listening to other’s experiences can be a powerful source of relief. Some go as far as describing this experience as “feeling welcome into the human race”.

  1. Working Through Unfinished Business

Most individuals seeking psychotherapy have experienced emotional difficulties to varying degrees in their first and most important group: their family of origin. The group offers the opportunity for understanding familiar patterns of interactions, and experimenting with new interpersonal behaviours in a safe and supportive environment.

  1. Interpersonal Learning

There is convincing data which shows that human beings have always lived in groups that have been characterised by intense and persistent relationships amongst members and that the need to belong is a powerful, fundamental, and universal motivation (Yalom, 2005).  Many of the challenges we experience in life are directly linked with difficulties in interpersonal relating. Groups can be supportive when it comes to lessening their members’ interpersonal struggles and in increasing their ability to form rewarding relationships.

  1. Group Cohesiveness and Sense of Belonging

Many of us have lacked in ongoing experiences of peer acceptance in childhood, therefore validation by other group members can be a new and vital experience.  The intimacy created in a group is a positive counterforce to a technologically driven culture, which increasingly dehumanises relationships. Therefore, there is a greater need than ever for group belonging and group identity.

Group Psychotherapy is offered at our Hove practice. For more information, please visit our group psychotherapy page.

 

This blog is written by UKCP Registered Psychotherapist Sam Jahara

Image credit: Sam Jahara

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Filed Under: Groups, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Sam Jahara Tagged With: group therapy, Interpersonal relationships, self-development groups, sense of belonging

November 14, 2014 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

Group Psychotherapy

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy will be starting a small therapeutic group on 15th January 2015.

Group therapy offers an effective and dynamic way of using psychotherapy to work on issues such as social anxiety, relationships, sense of loneliness and isolation, family issues and low self-esteem, amongst many others.  In therapeutic groups individuals have the opportunity of working towards improving patterns of relating to self and others, in a safe and reflective environment with other like-minded people.  Therapeutic groups can be healing and foster growth through:

  • Sharing difficult feelings and experiences with others
  • Gaining feedback from others
  • The recreation of past patterns that can be safely worked through
  • Practising and experimenting with new behaviours and ways of being
  • Receiving constructive therapeutic interventions from the group psychotherapist

You do not need to have experienced long-term psychotherapy to join the group; merely a capacity for reflection, an interest in self-development and in other people, and a commitment to attend weekly.

A prerequisite for attending is an assessment interview with the group facilitator and a minimum of three individual psychotherapy sessions prior to joining.

The group will meet every Thursday evening from 6:30-8pm.. Please enquire directly with Sam Jahara for more details of how to join, or for further information.  The fee per group session is £25.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

Filed Under: Groups, Psychotherapy, Sam Jahara Tagged With: group therapy, Psychotherapy, Relationships, self-development groups

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