A broken Christmas decoration.

Is there something wrong with me for hating Christmas?

Everybody loves Christmas. That’s a fact. At least if you watch how it is portrayed by the media and subscribe to the collective mania of ‘preparing for the big day’………. Of course, the reality is that many of us find Christmas difficult and for some it can feel unbearable. We have the statistics for this…

A group of friends sitting by a lake with their arms around each other.

What is belonging and why does it matter?

I was recently invited onto the Podcast ‘Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri’ to talk about the topic of ‘Belonging’. The discussion centred around our mutual experience of growing up in cultures that were not of our families of origin. Annalisa is technically a ‘second culture kid’, and I am a ‘third culture kid’ – the latter…

A lone armchair in a dark room.

Can chatbot companions relieve our loneliness?

In recent weeks I have seen various articles espousing the virtues of having an ‘AI companion’ or chatbot friend. Apparently these are particularly popular with the younger demographic. One of these is ‘Replika’ – a prophetic name if there ever was one. Chatbot ‘friends’ are touted as being helpful in alleviating loneliness through to functioning…

A mother holding her toddler close and soothing him.

You’re not watching me, Mummy!

Is it ever too late in life to change? Despite many decades of accomplished professional practice and conspicuous recognition for his achievements, the psychotherapist Irvin Yalom was stunned to discover he still had personal work to do. In his memoir, Becoming Myself , he recalls attending an academic event where he realises (1) he is…

Cobbled road with an arrow and the word happiness printed on it.

Defining happiness

Happiness is linked to a sense of joy, ease, and gratitude. It is also linked with a general positive evaluation of one’s life, past and present, which usually contributes to positive expectations or and looking forward to the future. An ability to sustain a state of happiness depends on many factors, including how a person…

A man lifting up a young child so she can place an ornament on a Christmas tree.

Five Top Tips for Surviving Christmas Day

Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be. Yet like the weather fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts, for many of us, our family experience often falls far short of the loving idyllic family reunions…

A man's hand holding a woman's hand.

When do you need Couples Counselling?

It is not so long ago that couples would have needed to be on the point of permanent separation before they would consider any type of counselling for themselves. If they did decide to embark on such a course, it might well be done as a last-ditch attempt to save things, often within the context…

The bottom half of a child surrounded by toys.

The First 5 Years

One of the most profound experiences we can have is to become a parent. If you had a good experience of growing up in a happy home where your needs were considered important, you felt secure, this is the best preparation for becoming a parent yourself. However, life is not quite as easy as that…

A couple holding each other sat on a suspension bridge.

What to expect from couples counselling

Starting couple counselling can feel both daunting and anxiety provoking, especially if it something you have not previously undertaken. Knowing up-front what to expect can reduce some of the anxiety and enable you to focus on what you actually want to get from your sessions. Your counsellor or psychotherapist should be suitably qualified You are taking…

Two hands held over a pregnant belly.

How do I know if I am ready to become a parent?

No, I am not addressing this to women caught in the age old story of young women fearing the passing of time and the urgency of finding a partner to start a family, although this is an important fact of life. I am thinking of what questions we might need to ask ourselves before we…

A toddler being helped to walk.

When it comes to parenting, are you a builder or a gardener?

What a job it is to raise a child! So full of difficulty, so many moving parts in the process, so much resourcefulness and energy required. Then, just when the parent takes breath to admire their creation, off goes the young adult – at times with barely a backward glance. The parents are left behind…

A paper heart torn in half hanging on a line.

Parental Alienation and the impact on children

Separation or divorce are painful, difficult and time consuming processes and more so where children are involved. Few couples manage to amicably separate and sadly, this applies to couples who have a child or children together too. Although it may seem obvious, my experience is that couples who are separating and have children often fail…