Holding difference: identity and the space between self and other

The formation of identity is never a solitary endeavour. From our earliest moments, we develop a sense of who we are through relationship—first with primary caregivers, then with siblings, peers, and the broader cultural world. Yet this process of coming to selfhood while remaining in relationship with others presents profound psychological challenges, particularly when differences…

Reflections on training as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist: discovering the third space

Becoming a psychoanalytic psychotherapist is a deeply transformative process. It changes the way we understand others and gradually reshapes our relationship with ourselves. The training asks us to move through dense theoretical material while cultivating a steady emotional presence, and this mirrors the kind of work we hope to offer our clients. The water we…

The therapeutic journey: a pilgrimage to the soul?

As a psychotherapist, I’ve come to understand healing as a profound journey—not unlike the transformative experience described in the photo of the welcome sign below, sent to me by a colleague who has recently walked the Camino de Santiago. Just as pilgrims leave behind their familiar comforts to venture into the unknown, therapy invites you…

Surviving family festivities: a psychoanalytic journey through the twelve days of Christmas

As the holiday season descends upon us like a glittering, tinsel-laden avalanche, many find themselves navigating the tricky or sometimes treacherous emotional landscape of family gatherings. Fear not, dear reader, for psychoanalytic psychotherapy could offer a guiding star, a beacon of hope to lead you through the holiday chaos to that peaceful Nativity scene, stable…

Parents – the ghosts and angels of our past

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. These lines open Philip Larkin’s best-known poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. I still remember our English…

Is an AI therapist as good as a human one?

Two articles, one written by a human therapist and the other by a chatbot – can you tell which is which? Part one: The human touch: why a human therapist outshines an AI therapist In today’s rapidly evolving world, technology continues to reshape various aspects of our lives, including mental health care. With advancements in…

Why is three the magic number? Third spaces, secure bases and creative living (part two)

In my last blog ‘What is the unconscious?’, I attempted a very brief explanation of what we might mean and understand when we refer to the unconscious and how exploring this unknown territory is an integral aspect of the therapeutic alliance. This alliance can be described as an intersubjective (between two people) process, in which…

What is the unconscious? (part one)

We use the words unconscious and subconscious quite frequently, but what do they really describe? The unconscious and its processes are an integral aspect of exploration and discovery in psychoanalytic therapy, but what do we mean and understand when we refer to this unseen and unknowable territory? There may be as many answers to this,…