Do you experience anxiety in social situations that can be overwhelming or even debilitating? Is it affecting your social life, work, relationships – your everyday happiness? If so, this article is for you. Asking what the function of your shyness is might seem a strange question – you didn’t choose it, right? Yet exploring the…
There is a lot of discussion about the risks posed by AI ‘therapy’, but there is something else that has been happening online for years, in the context of social media: the increasing volume of real people offering mental health expertise in a way that can easily populate algorithms, occupy thought processes and inform emotional…
The relationship Psychotherapy is fundamentally an exploration of how we relate to ourselves and to others, and the client, therapist relationship is no different. The relationship that develops between client and therapist exists within contractual boundaries, but it is also about people being present and connected. There are moments of great attunement in which the…
At the heart of every relationship lies a tension between safety and uncertainty. Safety allows us to let go of our worries and feel secure in ourselves and our relationships. But too much safety can make life feel flat and stuck. While uncertainty can keep us and our relationships feeling alive and open to growth,…
Having previously explored the compulsive use of pornography, I wanted to continue reflecting on what it’s like to work with clients who consider their use to be excessive. Should I talk about my therapy? A common question that arises is, ‘should I talk about my therapy’? Clients sometimes ask whether they should speak to their…
A foundational principle of depth therapy is that until mourned, the past is never truly past. It lives on in the present in our relationships shaping how we see others, how we see ourselves and in how others see us. In the consulting room, this process plays out much the same way as it does…
The formation of identity is never a solitary endeavour. From our earliest moments, we develop a sense of who we are through relationship—first with primary caregivers, then with siblings, peers, and the broader cultural world. Yet this process of coming to selfhood while remaining in relationship with others presents profound psychological challenges, particularly when differences…
In the therapy room, shame – which we often hide, almost at any cost – frequently hinders progress. Clients sometimes conceal aspects of their behaviour they fear are shameful, such as viewing pornography, taking class A drugs, or losing their temper. This is because it is perhaps one of the most intense and complex feelings…
Becoming a psychoanalytic psychotherapist is a deeply transformative process. It changes the way we understand others and gradually reshapes our relationship with ourselves. The training asks us to move through dense theoretical material while cultivating a steady emotional presence, and this mirrors the kind of work we hope to offer our clients. The water we…
Our early experiences can shape how we relate to ourselves and others in the present. Often, the survival strategies we developed in childhood can remain with us well into our adult life. One lesser-known but very important survival response is called ‘fawning’, and is often discussed in the context of the other well-known responses of…
Spend ten minutes on social media and you’d think trauma therapy is a rare, specialist service that only a select few therapists can offer. The implication is clear: most therapy isn’t “trauma-informed,” so you need to shop for the right label. This is marketing, not clinical reality. If you are in depth psychotherapy, psychoanalytic, psychodynamic,…
Two key issues with large online therapy platforms One of the first things I tend to ask new patients in a consultation is about their previous experience of therapy. Increasingly, I’m hearing that somewhere along this journey they have tried an online therapy platform – such as BetterHelp or Talkspace. This isn’t surprising. The advertising…