A young woman holding her head in her hand and looking pensive.

Who to tell that you’re in therapy? And why?

Alice Ayres Sitting on the Tube with a relatively new friend, I suddenly found myself feeling awkward in the middle of an anecdote. “And on a Thursday evening, I…I…” I cast a sideways glance at him. How would he react? Could I trust him not to judge me negatively? In the heat of the moment,…

A woman facing away from the camera.

Beginning therapy – the first appointment

Alice Ayres reflects on her first session with her therapist. How did I feel back then? When I’m looking back at a difficult period of my life from a position of relative stability, I tend to minimise how bad things really felt for me back then. I think this is a fairly common thing. I…

Back of a man's head.

Therapy – a client’s perspective

An introduction Hello. I’m Alice Ayres. Up until now on this blog, it’s always been the therapists speaking. This is the first of a series of blog posts in which I will be presenting a view from the other chair, the view of the client. I hope it will be useful to those considering or…

Close-up of a piece of chain in the sunlight.

Does psychotherapy cure addiction?

Does psychotherapy cure addiction? The answer to this question depends very much on whether addiction is seen as a disease in the medical sense of the word, and secondly, on whether it is indeed the goal of therapy to cure. In response to these questions, I would suggest that rather than being a disease (as…

The back of an elderly couple sitting on a bench.

Counselling and Psychotherapy – Differences

Two of the most frequent questions we get asked is are there any differences between counselling and psychotherapy and which do I need? Well, one way of thinking about the difference is that counselling is more about having someone walk alongside you during a difficult time. Sometimes this is all that’s needed – someone who…

An old fashioned photograph on a notebook with a bouquet of flowers.

Remembering in order to forget

It is not unusual for prospective or current clients in psychotherapy to ask, “What is the point of me remembering that and feeling sad, upset, angry (insert whichever uncomfortable emotion comes to mind)?” And even when not posed directly, the question plays in the unconscious through resistance in the therapy and a quick shift of…

An abstract image of the back of a man's head in front of a mirror showing the back of his head in the mirror.

Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy

Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA) described it as ‘a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and change’. In Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy, we adopt the philosophical principles that: – People are fundamentally OK, even if they sometimes behave in not-OK ways; – Everyone (with rare exceptions) has the capacity to…

A pair of open hands.

My approach to psychotherapy

Every psychotherapist has a view on what therapy is and how they practice. As I write this blog, I am drawn to my bookshelf filled with tomes by both historical and modern clinicians, detailing precisely how to practice this art that is psychotherapy. Having recently commissioned a set of videos introducing Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy…

Four hands holding onto each other.

What is attachment and why does it matter?

Attachment theory is something I draw on a lot in my practice. However, unlike psycho-analytic theory, the concepts are relatively simple. Simply put, attachment theory describes how we respond to relationships. There are broadly four different styles (or, as I prefer to think of them – adaptations) of attachment: secure; avoidant, ambivalent; and disorganised. Briefly,…

A boy screaming into a microphone.

Anger Management: Often Mismanaged

Anger management is a common term used in working with clients with anger issues. Even Hollywood has capitalised on the term as a title for a movie, which unsurprisingly was directed at a largely male audience. At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy we offer work on ‘anger management’, however, what this actually comprises may well be…

A fern growing on barren land.

Trauma and Recovery

Judith Herman (1992), writes: “Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force. Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning” Although Herman’s book was written more than twenty years ago, and findings…

A child's hand holding up a large marble.

New Year Reflections

Like many of us, at the end of each year I like to take some time to reflect on the past year and also look to the year ahead for changes and improvements I’d like to make in the personal and professional areas of my life. The beginning of a new calendar year can be…