People often come to therapy who are struggling with their emotional sensitivity. Feeling things deeply, they can find living in the world a challenging and sometimes painful experience. The question ‘Am I too sensitive?’ can arise, along with a wish to be less sensitive. But can we be too sensitive? Emotional sensitivity is a natural…
Since the dawn of humanity, emotions have been integral to our survival, guiding our ancestors* through a world filled with imminent threats. Fear prompted quick reactions to danger, joy encouraged behaviours that strengthened social bonds, and disgust helped prevent contact with harmful substances. These primitive emotional responses are hardwired into our brains, offering rapid, instinctual…
It is desire which creates the desirable, and the project that sets up the end. It is human existence which makes values spring up in the world, on the basis of which it will be able to judge the enterprise in which it will be engaged. Simone de Beauvoir, 1994, The Ethics of Ambiguity, p….
More people now identify as being compulsive users of pornography that at any other time, due in large part to the ease of access to pornography through online platforms. Such a compulsive use, or ‘addiction’ as it is often termed can have a damaging impact on the individual and those around them. The negative effects…
In my last blog ‘What is the unconscious?’, I attempted a very brief explanation of what we might mean and understand when we refer to the unconscious and how exploring this unknown territory is an integral aspect of the therapeutic alliance. This alliance can be described as an intersubjective (between two people) process, in which…
We use the words unconscious and subconscious quite frequently, but what do they really describe? The unconscious and its processes are an integral aspect of exploration and discovery in psychoanalytic therapy, but what do we mean and understand when we refer to this unseen and unknowable territory? There may be as many answers to this,…
Can talking to an empty chair help ease our mental distress and help make us more positive and confident? It may seem a strange idea, but evidence has been accumulating for more than ninety years that it can. The techniques involved, initially called ‘psychodrama’, originated in 1930s New York. They were refined in the 1950s…
When life feels like it’s getting on top of us, it can feel like there’s no space for our thoughts and feelings to be heard. This can make us feel isolated, and the problems we’re trying to deal with seem a lot worse. This points to the core of what therapy offers: physical and psychological…
In the field of social reform there is a wise principle called ‘Chesterton’s fence’ which, in simple terms, suggests that reforms should not be implemented until the existing state of affairs is understood. In other words, don’t tear down a fence until you understand why it was erected in the first place. In the world…
‘It’s all too much’ There are times in life when things get to a point where it is all too much. Usually, as a result of an accumulation of emotional, mental and physical demands without much respite. For instance, ongoing personal or professional conflict, a pervasive sense of stuckness, challenges with no imminent resolution, etc….
Most psychotherapists have specific experience in one or multiple fields and one of mine happens to be death. From 2012 to 2016, I worked at a large UK hospice as part of the clinical team supporting both patients and relatives. The work was confronting, humbling and hugely varied and it taught me a few things…
Perhaps a question that has occupied humans since the dawn of time, it may seem like an odd title for an article, however, the answer to this question in psychological terms is profound. What love is not Firstly, love is not really what most people believe it to be; the opposite of hate. Love can…