Studies of happy marriages find that anger and criticism are expressed rather than repressed. However the way that they are expressed matters. Most of us are uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generate rejection and everyone hates rejection. More often than not criticizing and complaining create a climate of negative energy…
In this blog, I want to briefly outline some of the reasons I like working with adolescents and what are perhaps some of the key struggles faced by adolescents, their carers’ and those who work with or alongside them. One of the most famous depictions of adolescents in my memory is probably Kevin, of Kevin…
We live in a complex world which, for the most part, seems to demand that we achieve certain things to ‘be someone’ and have a successful and happy life. These ‘certain things’ are the obvious trappings of society – having a good education, getting that well-paid job or rewarding career, finding that perfect relationship, having…
The Man’o’Pause Much has been depicted of the male ‘mid life crisis, most of it mocking. However in my experience as a Psychotherapist, I wholly agree with author Marian Keyes, who notes, “no one really goes through a midlife crisis without experiencing real despair, real fear and real soul-searching about ‘what have you done with…
Loneliness is an experience that people coming into psychotherapy often talk about struggling with. It is an uncomfortable and often painful state and usually linked with feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness. But maybe loneliness isn’t necessarily just a bad experience. Below, I will explore possible causes and suggest there are some positive and helpful…
Object relations theory describes the development, structure and functioning of the human psyche. Although evolved from ideas earlier in the 1900’s, it came to fruition with British psychoanalytic thinking and practice in the 1940s and 50s. Its most notable proponent was Child Psychotherapist Melanie Klein, but further developed by others such as Ronald Fairbairn, Donald…
Psychotherapy is many things, but on a fundamental level it is about the integration of split-off parts of ourselves. This cannot be achieved without the integration of psyche and soma (body), which is the function of the mind. We need the mind of another to grow a mind and this is what happens in the relationship…
Imagine the following situation. A client comes to therapy because they are struggling with anxiety and a range of physical symptoms: heart palpitations, IBS, stomach pains, muscle tension. They want relief, understandably, and they are used to a solution-focused approach. They want answers. Quickly. I notice something happening inside me. I begin to feel rushed….
If we could take a child’s logic and apply it to the arena of psychological injury we may be better equipped to deal with the emotional pain and suffering that is an inescapable part of being human. None of us is immune to heart ache. We are relational beings and cannot help but be touched…
In this blog I share my view on how to work with a fictitious client. The “client” James, is a high achieving barrister in his mid-thirties presents with severe anxiety. He has recently started a new relationship and they are thinking of moving in together. Client background The “client” James, is a high achieving barrister…
Recently Mark Vahrmeyer interviewed Dr. Simon Cassar on the topic of Existential Psychotherapy. This is the first in a series of interviews and VLOGS into the topic of psychotherapy generally. So, please check out the interview and we would welcome any feedback or suggestions for future VLOGS.
People often arrive in therapy looking for answers to life’s difficulties. This might seem like a reasonable proposition. However, it pre-supposes that there might be such a thing as a simple answer to any of the thorny challenges life presents, and, indeed, that the therapist is an “expert” on life, uniquely qualified in their provision….