Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy

01273 921 355
Online Therapy In the Press

by Leave a Comment

We are recruiting

Thanks to ever increasing demand for our services, we are now recruiting new associates to join our vibrant and busy practice.

Established in 2008, Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a practice offering high-quality face-to-face psychology and psychotherapy across the Brighton & Hove area, as well as online therapy to clients nationally.

We are interested in hearing from experienced Psychotherapists (UKCP or BPC registered) and Clinical Psychologists, who are looking to be part of a cohesive practice and who are hungry to grow their private practice as part of our brand.

We offer a broad range of psychological specialities to individuals, couples, families and groups, across all age groups from infant to adult. We are offering you the opportunity to take your private practice to the next level through our service and brand. With a full page profile on our website, referrals made through our administrative team, high-quality consulting rooms with online bookings as well as all the benefits of being a part of a clinical team with regular practice and reflective meetings, and cross-referrals.

If you are a clinician who has been practising for at least 5 years post-qualification and can work with a variety of client groups, we would like to hear from you.

For further information or an informal chat, please contact us on admin@bh-psych.com.

For more information about Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, visit our website:
www.brightonandhovepsychotherapy.com

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

What causes insomnia?

Insomnia is defined as being a habitual, or regular, inability to sleep.

Whilst it can be linked to medical conditions, the most common causes of insomnia are lifestyle related as well as anxiety, depression and stress related.

With regards to anxiety, depression and stress, insomnia is not only caused by these conditions, but it further exacerbates them too creating a vicious circle.

What can I do to help with my insomnia?

Improve your sleep hygiene

Sleep hygiene is a term used to describe a holistic approach to sleeping encompassing who you are as an individual and your sleep environment. Improving sleep hygiene involves thinking about where you sleep, how you sleep and what may work best for you.  Sometimes this will involve a degree of experimentation, for example, do you sleep better with the window open or closed? 

Stick to a routine of sleeping and waking

Research has shown that we are biologically predisposed to sleep and wake at the same time each day, ideally in synch with the setting and rising of the sun.  Whilst the latter is a far cry from modern life, coming up with a routine and sticking to it can be extremely beneficial to both your sleep patterns as well as your physical health.

Avoid stimulants

We all know that caffeine and alcohol will impact on the quantity and quality of our sleep.  However, watching a disturbing drama right before going to bed – or the news – can have an enormous impact on the ability for us to get to sleep.  It is much better to consume the news in the morning when we have the mental capacity and waking hours to digest it.

Why do anxiety and depression make insomnia worse?

Anxiety and depression are two seemingly different mental health problems that frequently find themselves side-by-side in the same sentence.  This is because they are essentially two-sides of the same coin.

Anxiety is an uncomfortable (at times, unbearable) feeling that gives us the sense that all is not well with the world.  It is an ordinary element of being a human being and many scholars believe that we are ‘cursed’ with anxiety due to our (largely unconscious) awareness that we are going to die.

Anxiety causes restlessness and many people deal with anxiety by channelling it into activity – something that fails when it comes to going to bed.  Anxiety is often described as ‘free-floating’ and will seek to attach itself to something.  We can then convince ourselves that the ‘thing’ our anxiety has attached to is the real problem, however, this is rarely the case.

Depression is a state of inertia but an uncomfortable one.  Anxiety (and stress) can have the function of protecting us from depression, however, eventually, anxiety will give way to the hopelessness of depression.  One may think that sleep would come easily in a state of depression but this is often not the case as hopelessness can feel unbearable.

Can counselling or psychotherapy help with insomnia?

If a client presented with insomnia than I would want to understand what may be causing the insomnia and to work with the client to gain a deeper understanding of what their feelings may be telling them – particularly any anxiety or depression.

Whilst anxiety is a normal element of being a human being, it should not be debilitating and an ideal is to engage in a meaningful life whereby the anxiety is channelled in a healthy way. 

Alongside this is a deepening of the relationship with ourselves in order to learn to better tolerate difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.

Mark Vahrmeyer, UKCP Registered, BHP Co-founder is an integrative psychotherapist with a wide range of clinical experience from both the public and private sectors. He currently sees both individuals and couples, primarily for ongoing psychotherapy.  Mark is available at the Lewes and Brighton & Hove Practices.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

Why does empathy matter?

When you begin therapy you enter into a particular (perhaps peculiar) type of relationship, one with well-defined boundaries and ethics. Beyond its method and structure, at the very heart of this relationship lies empathy.

As a therapist empathy means doing all you can to understand your client from inside their own experience. It requires an ability to communicate this understanding in ways that are sensitive, meaningful and useful, both verbal and non-verbal.

It is a powerful experience to feel understood, listened to, cared for and respected. Over time it can make it easier to have empathy for yourself, to take your own personal pain and suffering seriously, to judge it less, as trivial, stupid or simply a product of your own personal weakness.

When we begin to take our own struggles seriously, we gain access to another layer of empathy: compassion for the child that we were, often a child who made sense of what troubled them by deciding that there must be something wrong with them – that they were the problem. In the context of an authentic and empathic connection with another human being the shame or disgust or guilt that has become so entangled in our sense of self can begin to make way for new feelings. Sadness (perhaps) for what was lost and loving regard for the child who did the best they could at the time.  When there is more space in our imaginations for the reality of our own struggle, we can begin to see other people differently too. When we experience the power of feeling understood we may also experience greater internal space for new thoughts and feelings, both about ourselves and about others.

The therapist as the client

All psychotherapists have had their own experience of being a client in therapy. Sharing the most intimate and often painful moments of someone’s life is made possible when you have felt and expressed your own. It is not that as a therapist you become an expert on life (not even your own) but that having undergone your own therapy you will be more equipped with the clarity to differentiate your separate self and experience from that of another.  To understand whose feelings are whose and to have the versatility and flexibility to step into and out of another person’s shoes.

The circuitry of empathy

Empathy is a complex system of mutual cues and responses that regulates each persons experience of self and others. We observe this very clearly in parent/ infant interactions. How attuned a parent is to the (myriad/micro) communications of an infant will inform the infant’s reciprocal response to the parent.

It is not that in ideal world infants and young children would be perfectly attuned to at all times. Over-attunement can be stifling and intrusive. What’s more important is the experience of an ongoing relationship in which misunderstandings and mis-attunements can be repaired.

Emotional neglect and emotional intrusion are flip sides of the same coin. Anyone who has suffered either will have good reason to believe that they may never be understood.

As a therapist we cannot “know it all” for our clients, we cannot tell someone how it is they feel or what is true for them. What we can provide is an open-ended, respectful curiosity for our clients and a willingness to share in the important project of “getting it.”  Paying close attention to the unique form of connection that exists with each client means understanding empathy as a mutually influencing system. From this perspective, the communication of empathy becomes much more a mystery to engage with than a tool to master.

 

Gerry Gilmartin is an accredited, registered and experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor. She currently works with individuals (young people/adults) and couples in private practice. Gerry is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

Being Embodied in Therapy: feeling and listening to your body

Therapy is often called a ‘talking therapy’ but what is talking exactly?

Generally speaking, what someone says is what therapists consider and explore in session. Body psychotherapies are often the exception because language and thought are understood as different aspects of being in and as the body. The rise of mindfulness-based therapies that explore therapeutic change via awareness of the body as a whole could suggest that the focus on talking therapy is changing.

Despite this, what someone says remains a significant focus in therapy. Other than words, what could be important to pay attention to in therapy and beyond?

Existential therapy is rooted in philosophy. Merleau-Ponty (1962) has been deeply influential in how existential therapy considers the embodied being. Merleau-Ponty illustrated how our embodied nature is our primary experience of the world and how we communicate.

He also emphasised the importance of our existential sexuality (which I will discuss in more depth in a later blog) and embodiment to how we feel and how we react to everything we encounter. This understanding seems fundamental to how we open and close ourselves to the world. Merleau-Ponty reminded us that however we are perceiving experience in our own way, we are always in an interpersonal encounter “like an atmosphere” (p. 168)  .

Perhaps this atmosphere is most readily felt when we open and connect to something that generates sensation, for instance when doing yoga, meditating, making love. Or perhaps when we feel ourselves with others deeply, whether it is in an intimate and caring moment or perhaps feeling a difficult and challenging emotion. This ‘atmosphere’ is incredibly useful to consider both in therapy and in the moment when we feel the cluster of sensations that reveal our ‘being-ness’.

For instance, this atmosphere can point to how we are relating with others. It provides information for us personally but can also highlight how we feel in our relationships. Breaking through repetitive patterns in relationships can be tricky. However, a quick way to cut through stuck narratives is to stop and feel. Pausing the story telling and easing into the direct experience of being with another can sometimes reveal a deeper more intimate layer of being. We may notice we feel more open, or perhaps we may feel more closed. Defences may drop while a sense of feeling exposed becomes more prevalent.

In this moment, we may feel more deeply the sensations which illuminate the connecting space between all we encounter. We may understand more clearly whether we want to move towards or away from something or someone. This understanding can be a hugely significant when we are feeling confused intellectually.

Gendlin’s (1993) writes the “… living body always implies its right next step” (p.32). His commentary about being and focusing in the body seems to support Merleau Ponty’s ideas and suggests that it can be a guiding force to orient and anchor us. Even simple movements, such as feeling the pattern of breath and its impacts, can ground us and bring us into intimately present being. Paying attention to feeling sensations may encourage new understanding to arise. By broadening how we understand ourselves we may find more possibilities emerge where we once felt stuck.

These notions and an openness to experience it directly for yourself can be incredibly helpful in therapy. It is also a significant understanding and experience for anyone interested enough to pay attention to what is actually happening in your body, in any moment.

So, despite therapy often being considered a talking therapy there is much useful information that happens beyond this. Paying attention to what is actually happening in and as the body can be a fantastic starting point. This enquiry does not have to be difficult or complicated. For instance, next time you are out walking or sitting down just notice what it feels like. How do your feet and hands feel? Are they relaxed or tense? Do you feel any tension in your tummy? Let go of any judgement or speculation about it and just feel what is actually happening. If you feel like it, try sensitively easing into the tension. Relax, be curious and see what happens.

Susanna Petitpierre, BACP Registered, is an experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor, providing long and short term counselling. Her approach is primarily grounded in existential therapy and she works with individuals.  Susanna is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice and Lewes Practice.

 

Disclaimer: some of the content of this blog was originally part of an essay for a doctoral programme at NSPC. It has been amended.

1)          Merleau-Ponty, M. (1962). Phenomenology of Perception. Trans. C.                     Smith London: Routledge.

2)         Gendlin, E.T (1993). ‘Three Assertions about the Body’. The Folio 12                      (1): 21–33.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

How to find a Therapist

When it comes to therapy, the therapist you choose can be the difference between getting the most out of your therapy and getting nothing out of your therapy. Having a therapist whom you feel comfortable opening up ensures you can talk about your issues in a safe space enabling you to overcome challenges faster.

Brett Kharr argues that there are countless types of therapies to choose from. And we think this reflects the consumerist age we live in which makes starting therapy more confusing.

Richard Chessick, a Psychoanalyst, writes that;

“It is the experience of the therapist’s personality and the encounter with the therapist as a human who is truly present, rather than any verbal exchange, that makes the fundamental difference in therapy. It forms a link, that brings the patient in consistently over years of treatment, even at times when the patient is very angry or upset.”

When starting therapy, it’s important to think about the type of therapy and the therapist you choose. Sometimes, you may feel comfortable with the first therapist you meet after carrying out some research online or acquiring a recommendation from a friend or family member. Other times, you may find it’s not a match at all.

Why Consultations Can Help

Consultations are a great way to see if you feel comfortable with a therapist, and we are all more than happy to do this for you. We would always advise our clients to be as open and honest as possible with the therapists they meet so they can gage their reaction first hand. In any situation where you feel uncomfortable, they may not be the best choice.

Make sure to think about your goals ahead of time so that you know from the first meeting what you are working towards. This can help you determine if the therapist is the right fit for you.

Be Honest

When Mark and Sam at Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy began their training, they remember one piece of advice on how to choose and get the most out of therapy:

“Make sure to give your therapist hell”.

The meaning of this statement is to be as brutally open and honest as possible during therapy. Especially when it comes to things you don’t want to say.

When meeting your therapist for the first time, it can be a strange feeling. You may find your therapist isn’t a good match for several reasons from feeling like you can’t open up to simply finding them annoying.

Therapists who have been through therapy themselves won’t take it personally. They know the importance of having a good connection for your own benefit. Being honest about why it isn’t a good match may even give the therapist something to reflect on and work on.

Where Do I Find Therapists?

At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, all our therapists are listed on our practitioner’s page. Here, you can find out more about each practitioner and the areas they specialise in. From here, you can contact them directly or get in touch with us to find out more.

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a collective of experienced psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors working with a range of client groups, including fellow therapists and health professionals. If you would like more information, or an informal discussion please get in touch. Online therapy is available.

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a collective of experienced psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors working with a range of client groups, including fellow therapists and health professionals. If you would like more information, or an informal discussion please get in touch. Online therapy is available.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

Emotional Well-being

When most people hear the words ‘mental health’ perhaps what they are most likely to think of is mental difficulties, or mental ill-health.  I always think it’s such a shame that ‘mental health’ has these negative connotations, whereas just the word ‘health’ doesn’t seem to. 

I am a big believer in being proactive about mental health and wellbeing, and in the importance of doing things to stay mentally and emotionally well – just as you might keep active, eat a healthy diet and clean your teeth to keep your body well and healthy.  There is, perhaps unsurprisingly, a huge overlap between a person’s emotional and physical wellbeing. The negative impact of stress on health and wellbeing has been well researched. 

Positive Psychology is a branch of psychology founded by Martin Seligman, which is concerned with the positive aspects of life; it focuses on potential and thriving, or as one book puts it ‘positive psychology is concerned not with how to transform, for example, -8 to -2 but with how to bring +2 to +8’.[1]

So, what might be the emotional equivalents of cleaning your teeth or keeping active be?  There are lots of ideas that can be helpful, and some will suit certain people more than others.  It is worth trying out a few different ideas to see what works well for you.  Using a planner can help, to ensure that you are regularly and frequently doing something specifically to have a positive impact on your emotional wellbeing.  It’s good to have a mixture of things across a week, including things that bring you pleasure and things that bring a sense of satisfaction or accomplishment. 

The list below includes different ideas and strategies drawn from Positive Psychology, and other areas of psychology:

  • Engaging in physical activity
  • Noticing your strengths
  • Actively relaxing – this could be using imagery, or a progressive muscle relaxation
  • Random acts of kindness
  • Spending time engaging in hobbies
  • Spending time with, and investing in close relationships
  • Completing the ‘Three good things’ exercise; every night for a week spend some time to identify and write down three things that were good about the day and notice your role in them
  • Thinking about someone you are grateful to or for, and telling them about it
  • Spending some time paying attention to the present moment (Mindfulness)

 

Please follow the links to find out more about about our therapists and the types of therapy services we offer.  We have practices in Hove and Lewes.  Online therapy is also available.

[1] Positive Psychology in a Nutshell, 2nd edition.  Boniwell, I. (2008).

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

What is Relational therapy?

A central idea of relational psychotherapy is that our thoughts, feelings and behaviours (healthy and unhealthy) are directly related to our interpersonal relationships. Relational therapy is therefore about our self-with-other experience. We are all creatures of familial, social and political contexts, continuously formed (and forming) through our interactions with others.

Relational therapy can be an effective treatment for a whole range of psychological and emotional problems, understanding as it does that so many of them are rooted in troubled relationships past and present. Telling one’s own relational story in the presence of a carefully attuned empathic listener can be a powerful experience, generating shifts in self-understanding and ultimately in symptoms.

Relational Therapy is Not a medical model.

A relational therapist is not a doctor, there to administer a cure to someone’s emotional pain. This may seem disappointing to some clients. Rather s/he is a fellow human being, ready to engage with and understand the longings and the losses, the hopes, fears and struggles that might have brought a client into therapy.

Not individualism.

Relational therapy does not hold with the notion that each of us is responsible for our own happiness. It rejects the tyranny of self-help models that suggest that it is only by “working” on ourselves will we claim our power, increase our self-esteem, become fully evolved etc.

Instead it believes that we all need good connections with others in order to feel good about ourselves. Individual power, agency and wellbeing are only achieved in the context of healthy interpersonal connections.

Not Rationalism.

Relational therapy does not subscribe to rational, linear, cause and effect explanations of how change happens. We are complex systems of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, self-states and energies, all interconnected. Relational therapy takes a systemic, non-linear view of change. Having a new experience of oneself in the context of the therapeutic relationship may lead to new experiences of self and others outside of therapy as well.

Who needs Relational Therapy?

Anyone who has questions like “How do others see me?” “Am I good enough for them?” “Am I worthy enough?” might consider seeking a relationally oriented therapeutic approach. When your own answers to the questions above aren’t good, you feel bad about yourself and when you feel bad about yourself you are diminished.

A relational therapist will look at your everyday relationships with people in your life right now and seek to understand what it is that happens there that leaves you feeling bad about yourself.

Understanding the (repetitive) patterns of feeling bad in your life might be a reminder of earlier relationships. Consideration of these earlier relationships may help in developing an understanding of the sense you made of them, the sense of who you are, and what you’re worth.

The here and now relationship between therapist and client is also kept in mind and attended to as part of a relational approach. As a relational therapist, I am always noticing the subtle shifts within and between myself and my client(s). The moments when a client might feel misunderstood or judged by me are important to “catch.” Understanding what goes on between “us” might be useful in understanding what goes on “out there” with “them.”

Therapy offers the possibility to reflect on what forms us and to make room for the changes we hope for. A relational approach understands the relationship itself between client and therapist to be a fundamentally important element in realising such change.

Gerry Gilmartin is an accredited, registered and experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor. She currently works with individuals (young people/adults) and couples in private practice. Gerry is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

How are you going to Spend Your Emotional Currency in 2019?

Perhaps it seems odd to you to even think of emotions having an intrinsic value, isn’t it all rather cold and controlling.  However, alongside purchasing a house, a car or other valuable object our relationships will need energy and investment of time to make them work well.  

So in the next twelve months, wherever you are in the partnership process, there will be things to consider that will require the investment of emotional energy. If you are single you maybe considering looking for a partner or hoping love comes along, whichever way you approach this, a life-long partner will be one of the most important emotional investments you make. 

Although many of us go about this in a haphazard way, without giving sufficient thought to what we need to make a commitment to another person. Often we are under pressure from parents or peer group and the ever-present biological clock to get on and find someone or consolidate an existing relationship.

Some of us who are members of a religion will have priests or clergy to go to for advice and preparation before entering into a full commitment.  However, this usually occurs after the couple have met and decided to enter into a long-term relationship.  At this point the intention has been shared with family and friends, when it is more difficult withdraw, if the preparation phase uncovers areas of incompatibility in the relationship.

I have wondered, through working with couples, whether this should be done earlier in the relationship as soon as couples find they are talking about their future together.

Falling in love is an intense emotional, biological and physical experience, at times expressed as akin to madness.  Delightful though this period of time is, it does hinder good decision-making.

Couples will come after a crisis, wanting help to mend a relationship after an event or betrayal has injured the mutual trust in the relationship.  Or they come when a life event, such as the birth of the first child, loss of a job, children leaving home, retirement, illness or bereavement.  All of these events put demands on the relationship, and people handle them in different ways.  It helps to have a supportive family or friendship network around to contain and hold the couple as they navigate their way through these life-changing processes. All require the expenditure of emotional energy to maintain the relationship on an even keel.

So ideally we could envision a couple coming to relationship counselling before they finally decide this is the person they feel able and want to make this commitment to for the rest of their lives.

Dorothea Beech is a UKCP-registered Group Analyst, full member of the Institute of Group Analysis and a Training Group Analyst providing long and short-term psychotherapy to both couples and groups in Hove and Lewes.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by 1 Comment

A Nation divided

During Brexit, there was a lot of talk about how it divided our country. So we thought we would discuss how humans are divided and how Psychotherapy can ease some of the conflicts we have with ourselves and others. A personal ‘split’ can happen when we think or act in a way that doesn’t align with our beliefs.

In this quote, Freud describes how these splits can be repressed, by quoting Nietzsche’s phrase: –

“I did that’ says my memory; ‘I cannot have done that’, says my pride and refuses to yield. Finally – memory gives way.”

What Does it Mean to Have a Split?

Experiencing an emotional split isn’t always a bad thing. A split can be a way to manage feelings that can’t be properly managed at the time. So our mind represses it. However, the repression never goes away, and it will try and come out in some other way like displaced anger or depression.

An example of this is the conflicting feelings of love and hate for those we are close to. The feelings of anger and hurt towards a person are hard to express when we also feel love towards them, as we don’t want to hurt or lose them. Although we may not show certain emotions towards our loved ones, the feelings are still there and may come out in other ways through road rage to arguing with co-workers and even shouting at the TV.

When we feel these conflicts, it can be easy to dislike these parts of ourselves and push them aside. However, it’s important you work through these conflicts with therapy, as otherwise you may experience side effects that result in damaged relationships.

How Therapy Can Help

A therapist works with their client to uncover these conflicts in a safe, non-shaming and understanding environment. The client should feel they can honestly express themselves to their therapist which, in turn, will reduce the negative effects on their own life,

During therapy, a therapist will explore these conflicts without judgement. It is through this work a therapist can understand the emotions and whether they have been enabled by well-meaning friends and family.

As Carl Jung said:

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a collective of experienced psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors working with a range of client groups, including fellow therapists and health professionals. If you would like more information, or an informal discussion please get in touch. Online therapy is available.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

The Pain of Decision-Making

Our decisions navigate us through, and throughout, our lives. This blog is not intended to be a comprehensive explanation about decision making, neither is it a guide for how to make better decisions. I simply offer some thoughts about what I see as some of the reasons that decision-making can feel hard or even painful. And why some of us avoid or delay making decisions or get paralysed in the process.

Either/Or

There may be times when a decision is a stark choice between two different things. However, often what happens is we create an either/or split in our minds when making a decision, particularly when we’re anxious.

It is from Melanie Klein’s work that we get the concept of paranoid-schizoid position. This refers to a very early life stage when – as small infants – we were overwhelmed with intense anxiety and developed protective mechanisms, for e.g. splitting experiences into opposing good or bad. Klein thought that this stage never left us and in times of stress and high anxiety we tend to return to this paranoid-schizoid ‘position’. When we’re in this state of mind we return to defences such as polarising. Of course, far from helping our anxiety this kind of stark splitting generally makes decisions harder to make.

The referendum on Brexit is a good example of an either/or paranoid-schizoid type of decision that was created possibly to manage, but more to avoid, complex and painful issues the UK and its government was (and of course still is) facing.

Loss

Some decisions are easier than others. Usually, this is either because they don’t have a significant role in the shape of our future, or they are reversible, or repeatable. Generally, these decisions don’t put us in touch with profound feelings about loss.

Life decisions particularly stir intense feelings, and quite real experiences, of loss. Each step we take in one direction involves relinquishing those leading us in others. The older we get the more our lives narrow in direction and focus as we need to accept giving up ‘other’ options. This parallels a growing awareness of our own mortality.

How painful and paralysing the loss of ‘other’ life choices is will partly depend on our relationship with loss and whether or how we are able to tolerate the feelings stirred up by it.

Regret

Our decisions are our responsibility. We can all look back on certain choices we’ve made in our lives and wish we had taken a different option.

Bound up with our feelings about this is our relationship to regret. Regret can be a very frightening prospect for some people. This is because of the way they might punish themselves if they feel they’ve made a mistake or got something wrong.

Freud called the part of us that can be self-punishing, the Super-Ego. This is the rule-bound, conscientious part of us and is developed in the main from early experiences of authority figures, particularly parents. We will all normally experience our super-ego at times as restrictive – in a way this is its job. Ideas about

the super-ego have developed over the years to understand how persecutory it can be at certain times and for some people more than others. The degree and constancy to which we feel punished or even tormented by our super-ego will affect how frightening it can feel to us. This fear might generate such an anxiety about making mistakes that it can paralyse us from making even the smallest decisions.

Conclusion

We are making decisions all the time, often without thinking about it. Some decisions are obviously more significant than others and need to be considered carefully. This process can be painful as it means taking responsibility for our choices and sometimes accepting losses. We don’t help matters when we allow our anxiety about this to polarise our options with either/or thinking or attack ourselves with our regrets about past choices.

Claire Barnes is an experienced UKCP registered psychotherapist and group analyst offering psychodynamic counselling and psychotherapy to individuals and groups at our Hove practice.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by 6 Comments

The Role of the Therapy Room in the Clinical Frame

Counsellors, psychotherapists and psychoanalysts often refer to the frame in therapy and any training worth its salt will drum into the budding therapist the importance of ‘the clinical frame’.

The clinical frame, broadly, refers to the environment and relationship that enables a client to feel safe and open up to their therapist.  It is therefore an essential aspect of any talking therapy.

The counsellor, psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is responsible for creating and holding the frame with clients and this applies as much to the physical environment in which the therapy takes place, as it does to the disposition and character of the clinician themselves.

Sam Jahara and myself, like many therapists in Brighton and Hove, rented therapy rooms by the hour for many years and from a range of institutions.  One of the most frustrating aspects of room rental was how often the frame would become disturbed or disrupted by circumstances beyond our control.  For example, at times clinicians using rooms would have a lax attitude to timekeeping, meaning they left the room late and we would then be pushed for time to get our session started; rooms were often left untidy; other clinicians would hold loud conversations in public areas; rooms could at times be double booked.  The list goes on.

All of this made creating and holding the frame difficult and contributed to our stress levels meaning we could not be as present for our clients as we felt we should be.  This led us to eventually deciding to find our own clinical space – Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy – so we could take direct responsibility for creating the sort of environment conducive to good therapeutic work.  It is a space we enjoy sharing with like minded therapists.

We offer quiet, clean and well-appointed clinical rooms, suitable for a wide range of clinical work;

Our rooms are located on the top floor of a beautiful period building in central Hove, meaning that footfall is minimal and noise well contained;

Hourly room rental (50 minutes) starts from as little as £7 per hour;

Sam and I both run our private practices from the premises, meaning we are able to directly contribute to creating the sort of environment and atmosphere conducive to boundaried therapy;

We offer a kitchen for the exclusive use of clinicians, with plenty of water jugs for use with clients;

We like to personally get to know clinician’s renting from us and with time, we offer the opportunity to become an Associate of our practice, leading to cross-referrals and the opportunity to actively contribute your opinion to what would help improve the practice;

And, from 6 March 2015, we are pleased to announce that we are now offering WiFi to all our practitioners free of charge.

If you would like further information, please visit our Therapy Room Rental Page, drop us an email or call us on 01273 921355.

Mark Vahrmeyer

Image credit: Heather Hook

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

by Leave a Comment

Counselling & Psychotherapy Consulting Rooms

Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a well-established counselling and psychotherapy practice run by Mark Vahrmeyer and Sam Jahara. In addition to the therapy services offered through our practice by ourselves and our highly skilled associates, we also welcome therapists wishing to work alongside us, running their practices from our premises.

 

The original motivation behind establishing our practice was borne out of our frustration of being able to find high quality and consistently boundaried premises from which to practice. Whilst there are a wide range of therapy rooms available across Brighton and Hove, few offer the location, quality of fittings and most importantly, boundaried environment from which to practice. With the recent announcement that the YMCA Dialogue Centre is closing its doors to clinicians renting their therapy rooms from the end of this year, finding appropriate rooms from which to run a private practice is becoming more difficult.

We have three stylish and peaceful therapy rooms suitable to every type of therapy, ranging from individual, couples, family and group therapy. The rooms are furnished to a high standard and ideally suited for the talking therapies. Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy comprises the whole of the top floor of a recently renovated period building, centrally located on The Drive, a few steps away from the beach, cafes and shops. In addition to all the great features described above, we rent our rooms for very reasonable hourly and day rates, starting at £7 per hour.

We have first hand experience of how difficult it can be for therapists to find ideal premises to practice from that offer an environment conducive to the nature of the work we do. Our aim is to offer our clients the support they need in an inviting, peaceful and ‘holding’ environment.

We would highly recommend viewing, so please get in touch with Mark or Sam to book a visit either by phone or email.

Face to Face and Online Therapy Help Available Now

Click Here to Enquire

Hove Clinic
49 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 2BE

Copyright © 2023