Dissociation is a term used to describe the mental process of ‘getting rid of’ painful or traumatic feelings by banishing them to a ‘nothing’ place within – for good and for bad. The paradox of dissociation is that in the process of such banishment, far from being shut down, traumatic experience can take on a…
All of us make mistakes; we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. But some past failures or mistakes have a habit of being repeated time and time again. These could be work related, like promising yourself that you’ll hand in an assignment ahead of time, only to leave everything to the last minute and deliver…
I explored the use of pornography and its presence in society in previous blog. In thinking about pornography, there is the question of why some people might become habitual users. What part might childhood trauma play in the development of compulsive use of pornography? Trauma, attachment and anxiety The experience of trauma in formative years can…
Often people come to therapy in some kind of emotional pain. This might be acute or chronic or both. Understandably, they want to feel better. Sometimes, for some, this desire can feel very urgent. Reassuringly, many people find their distress dissipates with surprising speed almost as soon as they start therapy. Bringing your upset to…
Both the name, Gabor Maté, and the word, trauma, have become synonymous and ubiquitous in recent years. Dr. Maté is a Hungarian born physician and author of ‘In The Realm of The Hungry Ghosts’, which was first published back in 2008 and offered a compassionate and insightful understanding of addiction as a response to trauma….
‘Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways’. This quote, widely attributed to Freud, is both simple and profound in context. With this statement, Freud (if they are indeed his words) is defining one of the pillars of psycho-analysis and psychotherapy – to uncover repressed and…
The exploration of sexual preference and fantasy in therapy can be a portal to our inner psychological landscape. Unlocking the unconscious logic of sexual fantasy is one way of casting a light on our internal world and of understanding the emotional and psychological difficulties that may have prompted us to seek therapy in the first…
We have just celebrated the ending of the year, welcoming in a New Year. It provides a shared / collective opportunity to reflect on the past, think ahead to the future. Likewise, psychotherapy invites us to think about the past, how it contributes to who we are, what is important to us, how the past…
There is No Such Thing as a Baby I frequently blog about the importance about including the body in the process of psychotherapy and how the unconscious resides in the body. However, unlike many ‘body psychotherapists,’ I believe that the involvement of the body is more profound than identifying the presence of the body in…
The term ‘affect regulation’ is one that I have written about previously and one that is increasingly used in the world of applied psychology and neuroscience. It can be a very useful term for bringing together psychology, biology and in explaining why good psychotherapy works, so read on! What is regulation? We all regulate (manage)…
It is not unusual for prospective or current clients in psychotherapy to ask, “What is the point of me remembering that and feeling sad, upset, angry (insert whichever uncomfortable emotion comes to mind)?” And even when not posed directly, the question plays in the unconscious through resistance in the therapy and a quick shift of…
Attachment theory is something I draw on a lot in my practice. However, unlike psycho-analytic theory, the concepts are relatively simple. Simply put, attachment theory describes how we respond to relationships. There are broadly four different styles (or, as I prefer to think of them – adaptations) of attachment: secure; avoidant, ambivalent; and disorganised. Briefly,…