This is a question that I am often asked. Everyone overthinks sometimes however for some people this can feel like a constant. Some people worry a lot about what others think of them, they can rehash conversations they’ve had, worry about what they’ve said and if they should have said this or that … [Read more...]
Do we need to do homework during psychotherapy?
For many people the word 'homework' stirs up rather negative memories of being forced to stay in when the sun was shining, or toiling over the complexities of maths equations rather than enjoying computer gaming or other hobbies.But in psychotherapy, engaging in relevant tasks connected with … [Read more...]
Understanding exercise addiction
In a previous blog we discussed the links between exercise and mental health and how exercise can be hugely important for raising and maintaining our mood. In this blog, we will discuss how the healthy habit of exercise can sometimes become addictive, and can actually harm both our physical and … [Read more...]
How can I manage my emotions better?
This is a common question clients ask therapists.Sometimes clients describe having mood swings, one minute they are feeling fine and the next are feeling very low, and for others it can be suddenly feeling irritable or angry. Sometimes there is an obvious trigger to the change in mood but often … [Read more...]
The dynamic maturation model: a new way of understanding how to cope with mental distress and create happier relationships
Psychotherapy was revolutionised in the second half of the last century by the development of attachment theory, the science of human bonding and needs. I wrote about this in my BHP blog ‘Why we need a secure base’. It describes how infants who do not have their primary needs met – for comfort, … [Read more...]
Why staying in your chair is the key to being a good psychotherapist
When working with trainees and supervisees, I frequently refer to the need for a psychotherapist to ‘stay in their chair’. Let me explain.Psychotherapy is a relationship. It is a very intimate and unique relationship between the clinician and their patient, which is principally about the needs … [Read more...]
Trauma and disconnection
Dissociation is a term used to describe the mental process of ‘getting rid of’ painful or traumatic feelings by banishing them to a ‘nothing’ place within - for good and for bad. The paradox of dissociation is that in the process of such banishment, far from being shut down, traumatic experience can … [Read more...]
Understanding and managing the ‘green-eyed monster’
As a psychotherapist, I sometimes encounter individuals struggling with the unsettling emotion of envy. While we might visualise the ‘green-eyed monster’ and make light of it, it can sometimes grow into a significant problem.The socio-economic context Many of us face anxieties over whether … [Read more...]
The psychology of the cult leader
The image above* is of Jim Jones who led the Jonestown massacre in November 1978 where 909 people died, a quarter of whom were children. Jim decided that the children should be the first ones to drink the poison. He matches the broad definition of a cult leader, which I compiled from a range of … [Read more...]
Cultivating a growth mindset: a path to personal transformation and resilience
In the journey of personal development and mental wellbeing, the concept of a growth mindset has emerged as a powerful tool. Have you ever faced a challenge and felt like giving up because you thought you were not ‘good enough’? The idea of a growth mindset, coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, … [Read more...]
Why do people join cults?
In my two previous articles, I have defined a cult and the mind-control process. Now, I would like to talk about what makes people join a cult and why we should care.No one joins a cult Firstly, people don’t join cults: they join a course, an activity, a personal development workshop, a … [Read more...]
Why do we repeat past failures again and again?
All of us make mistakes; we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.But some past failures or mistakes have a habit of being repeated time and time again. These could be work related, like promising yourself that you’ll hand in an assignment ahead of time, only to leave everything to the last minute and … [Read more...]
Can Buddhist thinking help with our emotions?
There has been a growing interest in Buddhist thinking over many years, which is perhaps influenced by the popular practice of mindfulness to help with anxiety and many other emotional issues. Often people will come to psychotherapy and use the technique of mindfulness as part of their therapeutic … [Read more...]
What do dreams mean?
We all dream - whether we remember them or not. And there is plenty of fascination about dreams and what they may mean, ranging from nothing at all, to being a means and method of understanding a patient’s unconscious.In 1899, Sigmund Freud wrote The Interpretation of Dreams outlining his theory … [Read more...]
Understanding motivation: insights from neuroscience
Motivation is the spark that drives our behaviours, whether it's waking up early for work, pursuing a personal goal, or simply seeking enjoyment in daily life. But what exactly fuels this drive? Modern neuroscience offers fascinating insights into the mechanisms behind motivation and its role in our … [Read more...]
