existential psychotherapy Archives | Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy

November 18, 2019 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

Death Anxiety

This blog follows on from my previous blogs – Existential Therapy and A consideration of some vital notions connected to Existential Therapies.

In Existential Therapy reflecting on death anxiety would not be the same without a consideration of Heidegger. Heidegger (1927) regarded human beings as always ‘being towards death’. He asserted the significance of anticipating death as a vehicle to address the possibility of being itself. Heidegger (1927) described the earnest recognition of our being towards death and its possibility in the following way:

“Impassioned freedom towards death – a freedom which has been released from the illusions of the ‘they’ and which is tactical, certain of itself, and anxious”

(p. 266) ^[1]

To me it seems Heidegger postulated that by confronting our finitude we can take responsibility for our existence and be released from the illusions surrounding a life of conformity. However, this does not remove anxiety from living but reframes it as something inherent in being.

To a greater and lesser extent ‘death anxiety’ is considered by existential therapists as a central theme. One’s mortality is recognised as a continuing condition of human beings. It is perhaps the only thing that belongs to us, and we can knowingly and unknowingly be living in the anticipation of its possibility and eventuality. This theme holds much uncertainty and reflects back to us the pervading uncertainty of life. It gives birth to the existential angst inherent in the human condition. This angst is generated by the fragility and unreliability of a life lived in this existence.

This does not have to be a pessimistic view. It is in fact allowing an exploration of the boundaries of life. By confronting our mortality, and in fact any pain and suffering experienced along our path, we have the opportunity to clarify our limits and identify that which is out of our reach rather than evading it. Simultaneously it can support us to become aware of our potential and the elements in our lives that it is possible to do something about. It can make us feel more adventurous and alive.

Existential Therapy frequently espouses the importance of facing up to our life and death and all that is experienced between the two poles of our existence, whether it be inevitable suffering or joy. We must find the capacity to confront our difficulties in living and permit the experience to feel it, without needing to linger for too long.

Equally we must see the good in our existence and recognise these times as they happen. Allow learning to ensue so that we can augment this in our lives, but without getting caught in the pursuit of unending happiness. Ultimately all aspects experienced, wherever they fall on the spectrum of suffering or joy, do not stand alone. They are all parts of the same indivisible perspective that each individual experiences as they travel within their existence.

So whether or not death anxiety is viable to consider, angst or anxiety is seen as an inevitable part of existence by Existential Therapists. Many will emphasise the significance of valuing, understanding and tolerating anxiety. Many recognise anxiety as a sign that something in our life needs our energy and attention rather than it being a threat or something to be eliminated. Perhaps it may be the very thing that unshackles us from conformity and seeking validation or permission from others. Perhaps it is the vehicle within which we may feel our aliveness, engagement, and vital connection.

Susanna Petitpierre, BACP Registered, is an experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor, providing long and short term counselling. Her approach is primarily grounded in existential therapy and she works with individuals. Susanna is available at our Brighton and Hove Practice and Lewes Practice.

Further reading by Susanna Petitpierre –

A consideration of some vital notions connected to Existential Therapies

Existential Therapy

Being embodied in Therapy: Feeling and listening to your body

Resources –

^[1] Heidegger, M. (1927) Being and Time (transl. J. Macquarrie and E.s Robinson) Londo: Harper and Row, 1962 edn.

August 19, 2019 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

Existential Therapies

“A rich tapestry of intersecting therapeutic practices, all of which orientate themselves around shard concern: human lived experience” (1)

What is existential therapy? I’m asked this a lot. I even ask myself from time to time. In some ways it could be described as an attitude held by the therapist. It is certainly, in my experience, a continually unfolding enterprise due in part to its emphasis on relationship, non-directive stance, non-structured framework and an openness to wonder and mystery rather than reduction and categorisation.

In this blog, and future blogs I will begin to reflect on some understandings within existential therapy.

It is perhaps safe to start with reiterating what many have said before: there are as many ways to be an existential therapist as there are existential therapists (2) (and clients may I add). I am aware how vague that sounds, however, I believe it is actually what makes existential therapy so valuable. Its variety and openness invites connections and relationships to be developed in an authentic and unique way with each client. It also challenges some illusions regarding life (and therapy) including that it is and can be objective, manualisable and unambiguous.

Existential therapy is framed around a variety of existential thinkers, and other philosophers. Many have been influential in its development. At times the diversity of understandings about human existence reveals contrasting understandings which can be confusing. However, this is also the very ingredient that permits the aforementioned subjectivity, diversity and disagreement.

Existential therapy recognises the significance that each individual interprets from their particular context, therefore rejecting the notion that one size fits all. It invites every individual to recognise and bring forth their unique potential. Its very nature permits consideration of life in all its complexity and nuance, and recognises how uncertainty is intricately connected with living life.

What underpins existential therapy is the starting point: May (1958) (3) described existential therapy as an exploration that seeks to understand individuals as being. It invites a person to experience and have awareness of their own being, their own existence, their own aliveness, their own relation to one’s self and one’s world as a precondition for unraveling and working through their difficulties. Its focus is on the existence of each individual being sitting with the therapist, and what occurs between them. It does not disparage investigations about behaviour patterns or dynamisms but it recognises these elements are only really understood in the context of each individual’s structured existence. It is existence, or as May (1958) described the ‘I am’ experience, that underpins everything else.

So what does this mean in practical terms? Typically, existential therapy does not employ diagnostic frameworks to label or categorise personal characteristics or experiences. Abstract knowledge about a person, an assessment report or a theoretical understanding about a certain type of experience or behaviour is less important than the reality and experience that emerges between two people (client and therapist for instance) encountering each other in a room.

How else does this show up in an existential therapeutic session? In other ways, and always depending on the client’s needs, clients may be encouraged to understand their relationship to, and come to terms with, the ‘four ultimate concerns’ of existence as understood by Irvin Yalom (1980). Yalom described these as death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness.

Additionally, clients may be invited to consider how they are being and relating to four basic existential dimensions (4). This may take the shape of exploring their relationship to personal, spiritual, physical and social aspects of their existence.

As mentioned in other blogs what has been written above and before is not a blueprint for what to expect in existential therapy. It is also not an exhaustive discussion of ideas within existential therapy. However, if you are interested in reading about other significant ideas in existential therapies, as I understand them, please read my other blogs.

Further reading by Susanna Petitpierre –

Being embodied in Therapy: Feeling and listening to your body

References

(1) Cooper, M. (2003) Existential Therapies. London: Sage. (p. 1)

(2) Cohn, H. (2002) Heidegger and the roots of Existential Therapy. London: Continuum

(3) May, R., (1958) Origins of the existential movement. in Existence. (Eds: Rollo May, Ernest Angel & Henri, F Ellenberg) USA: Rowman and Littlefield Publishers, (p. 31).

(4) Van Deurzen, E. (2012) Existential Counselling & Psychotherapy in Practice. London: Sage

May 6, 2019 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

Being Embodied in Therapy: feeling and listening to your body

Therapy is often called a ‘talking therapy’ but what is talking exactly?

Generally speaking, what someone says is what therapists consider and explore in session. Body psychotherapies are often the exception because language and thought are understood as different aspects of being in and as the body. The rise of mindfulness-based therapies that explore therapeutic change via awareness of the body as a whole could suggest that the focus on talking therapy is changing.

Despite this, what someone says remains a significant focus in therapy. Other than words, what could be important to pay attention to in therapy and beyond?

Existential therapy is rooted in philosophy. Merleau-Ponty (1962) has been deeply influential in how existential therapy considers the embodied being. Merleau-Ponty illustrated how our embodied nature is our primary experience of the world and how we communicate.

He also emphasised the importance of our existential sexuality (which I will discuss in more depth in a later blog) and embodiment to how we feel and how we react to everything we encounter. This understanding seems fundamental to how we open and close ourselves to the world. Merleau-Ponty reminded us that however we are perceiving experience in our own way, we are always in an interpersonal encounter “like an atmosphere” (p. 168) .

Perhaps this atmosphere is most readily felt when we open and connect to something that generates sensation, for instance when doing yoga, meditating, making love. Or perhaps when we feel ourselves with others deeply, whether it is in an intimate and caring moment or perhaps feeling a difficult and challenging emotion. This ‘atmosphere’ is incredibly useful to consider both in therapy and in the moment when we feel the cluster of sensations that reveal our ‘being-ness’.

For instance, this atmosphere can point to how we are relating with others. It provides information for us personally but can also highlight how we feel in our relationships. Breaking through repetitive patterns in relationships can be tricky. However, a quick way to cut through stuck narratives is to stop and feel. Pausing the story telling and easing into the direct experience of being with another can sometimes reveal a deeper more intimate layer of being. We may notice we feel more open, or perhaps we may feel more closed. Defences may drop while a sense of feeling exposed becomes more prevalent.

In this moment, we may feel more deeply the sensations which illuminate the connecting space between all we encounter. We may understand more clearly whether we want to move towards or away from something or someone. This understanding can be a hugely significant when we are feeling confused intellectually.

Gendlin’s (1993) writes the “… living body always implies its right next step” (p.32). His commentary about being and focusing in the body seems to support Merleau Ponty’s ideas and suggests that it can be a guiding force to orient and anchor us. Even simple movements, such as feeling the pattern of breath and its impacts, can ground us and bring us into intimately present being. Paying attention to feeling sensations may encourage new understanding to arise. By broadening how we understand ourselves we may find more possibilities emerge where we once felt stuck.

These notions and an openness to experience it directly for yourself can be incredibly helpful in therapy. It is also a significant understanding and experience for anyone interested enough to pay attention to what is actually happening in your body, in any moment.

So, despite therapy often being considered a talking therapy there is much useful information that happens beyond this. Paying attention to what is actually happening in and as the body can be a fantastic starting point. This enquiry does not have to be difficult or complicated. For instance, next time you are out walking or sitting down just notice what it feels like. How do your feet and hands feel? Are they relaxed or tense? Do you feel any tension in your tummy? Let go of any judgement or speculation about it and just feel what is actually happening. If you feel like it, try sensitively easing into the tension. Relax, be curious and see what happens.

Disclaimer: some of the content of this blog was originally part of an essay for a doctoral programme at NSPC. It has been amended.

1) Merleau-Ponty, M. (1962). Phenomenology of Perception. Trans. C. Smith London: Routledge.

2) Gendlin, E.T (1993). ‘Three Assertions about the Body’. The Folio 12 (1): 21–33.

October 8, 2018 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy 1 Comment

Crisis of Meaning

We live in a complex world which, for the most part, seems to demand that we achieve certain things to ‘be someone’ and have a successful and happy life. These ‘certain things’ are the obvious trappings of society – having a good education, getting that well-paid job or rewarding career, finding that perfect relationship, having the right house and the right car, and so on. While these can bring certain levels of happiness and contentment for some people, those feelings are usually transitory and once the excitement of the achievement dies down, it leaves us with the yearning for the next thing on the list, the next achievement that will bring us happiness.

Materialistic society

This, of course, is how our materialistic society works. It is based on continued consumption of good and products, a continued movement towards bigger and better things, with very little time to sit and wonder what it is all about. When we do find the time to do so, we are often left with the nagging feeling that there must be more to life than this. Do we really want to spend our days working really hard, burning ourselves out to earn more money, just to buy more stuff? Is the purpose of our life just to make money, achieve some social status, maybe raise a family and then die? Is this truly and deeply where we want to be in our life?

When these sorts of questions start to arise, we can quickly face a crisis of meaning, which is arguable the epidemic of our times. While we can avoid thinking about these deeper issues for a while by living a busy life and staying at the surface level, these deeper questions with the unsettling feelings they can bring with them will keep bubbling up again and again. For many people this can manifest in a lack of motivation, a lack of joy or excitement in life, and indeed in depression.

What is a crisis of meaning?

So what can we do when we face a crisis of meaning? While there is no easy and straightforward answer to this we can consider two distinct ways of finding meaning in life. The first is to create meaning – to invest our time an energy in something that seems meaningful to us. Being a parent for example, can give some people a meaning in life, or doing some voluntary work, engaging in something that spreads positivity in the world, writing a book etc – all of these can give people meaning. The key is to engage in something that is bigger than you, that propagates out into the world and helps people in one way or another. While creating a meaning can be very satisfying, for many there is a deeper level still to this, and they want to find their true meaning in life – to answer the deeper question of ‘what are we here for?’ In order to find our meaning in life (rather than create it), takes quite a different approach. We need to spend time being with ourselves, listening to our inner voice, spending time in quiet contemplation. For some this will naturally lead in a spiritual direction, as contemplating the deeper recesses of our psyche will invariably move us to transcendental thinking. Engaging with spirituality, whether in an organised way by attending a spiritual or religious group, or just reading and thinking about it, can go a long way to helping us find meaning in life. It is also worth mentioning that spending time in quiet contemplation can also entail facing some of our inner demons, as we come in touch with our deeper emotional side. Understanding and resolving our deeper feelings can be fundamental to living a more contented and meaningful life.

Psychotherapy and meaning

Engaging in psychotherapy can be a very fruitful journey on the path to finding meaning in life. With your therapist you can find ways to face your inner fears, get in touch with your inner self and express the meaningful life that is yours.

Simon Cassar is an experienced integrative existential psychotherapist, superviser and academic, providing long and short-term psychotherapy to both individuals and couples at our practices in Hove and Lewes.

June 22, 2018 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

What is Existential Psychotherapy? An interview with Dr. Simon Cassar – VLOG

Recently Mark Vahrmeyer interviewed Dr. Simon Cassar on the topic of Existential Psychotherapy. This is the first in a series of interviews and VLOGS into the topic of psychotherapy generally. So, please check out the interview and we would welcome any feedback or suggestions for future VLOGS.

Dr Simon Cassar is an integrative existential therapist, trained in Person Centred Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), and Existential Psychotherapy. He works from our Hove and Lewes practice.