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June 5, 2023 by BHP Leave a Comment

Is spirituality an escape from reality?

Spirituality is an important part of our existence. It can provide meaning and purpose, give us a sense of well-being and peace, and provide a philosophical way of being that gives us an ethical code and a way of dealing with adversity. Additionally, it is an important part of personal development that enables us to be more authentic in the world, and to connect with a transcendental dimension that is greater than ourselves.

But can spirituality also be an escape from reality? At times, our spiritual practice and our spiritual philosophy can become a way to avoid reality, and this is called ‘Spiritual Bypassing’.

The term spiritual bypassing describes when we use our spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid or escape from dealing with difficult emotions or personal problems. This could be when we use spirituality as a way to rationalise or justify an avoidance of emotional pain, as well as using spiritual practices as a means of avoiding responsibility or accountability for our actions.

For example, we might use affirmations to deny our feelings of sadness or anger by saying such phrases as “I am happy and content” when we really don’t feel it. While this does have a use in terms of positive psychology, it can also deny and suppress our feelings. As another example, we might believe that everything happens for a reason, and because of this belief not take any action to rectify a problem or take responsibility for our part in a situation. At times, these sorts of ideas can hinder our progress on the spiritual path and also become problematic for our emotional development.

In terms of spiritual practice, this also can become a way of avoiding our emotions and the reality of life. For example, if we are able to get into blissful meditative states, then we might try to spend as much time as possible in such states and deny other experiences. This could then lead to a withdrawal from the world as we attempt to be fully occupied with meditative bliss. While mediation and other practices can lead to a more permanent feeling of bliss and contentment, resolving our underlying emotional issues needs to come first.

While spiritual bypassing can take many forms depending on the person and their practice, below is a list of the more common manifestations.

Denying emotions: This involves using spiritual beliefs to suppress or deny difficult emotions, rather than fully experiencing and processing them.

Overemphasising positivity: This is where we focus exclusively on positive thoughts and feelings, and dismissing or denying negative emotions or experiences.

Avoiding conflict: This involves using spirituality to avoid or minimise conflict, rather than addressing it directly.

Disregard for the physical world: This involves using spirituality to detach from or minimise the importance of the physical world and material concerns.

All of the above, (and this list is not exhaustive) are examples where the underlying thinking is rooted in spiritual philosophy, but that philosophy is taken out of context in order to serve the individual. As such, it can end up being harmful both for the individual and others around them.

It can be quite easy to fall into spiritual bypassing as most spiritual philosophies are beautifully simple and can lead us to thinking that it is an easy task to evolve spiritually as well as emotionally.

However, such development takes a lot of time, practice and self reflection. Working honestly with a good spiritual friend can help us to understand how we are applying spirituality to our lives, and if this is in a healthy manner. But at times we need to take this a step further and work with a therapist to help us resolve our underlying emotional patterns so we can truly bring our spiritual life into reality.

Dr Simon Cassar is an integrative existential therapist, trained in Person-Centred Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), and Existential Psychotherapy. He is available in our Hove and Lewes clinics and also works online.

 

Further reading by Dr Simon Cassar

Sleep and Mental Health

Spirituality and mental health

Living with borderline personality disorder

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Student mental health – how to stay healthy at university

Filed Under: Mental health, Spirituality Tagged With: Emotions, spirituality, wellbeing

March 23, 2020 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

Spirituality and Mental Health

Spirituality is an often-used term these days, and around 20% of the population in the UK define themselves as spiritual, but not in the religious sense. So what does it mean to be spiritual?

There are many definitions of spirituality but generally we could say that it involves having a sense of something bigger than ourselves – a transcendental view of life where we start to realise that there is more to life that we see around us. This can include a sense that there is a God or creator, an intelligence in the universe, or maybe a deeper wisdom that we all carry. However we conceptualise it, spirituality often leads to a greater sense of purpose and meaning as we start to step back from the everyday world and see a bigger picture playing out before us. Spirituality also includes a sense of connectedness, which might be with others, ourselves or with something more transcendental. This feeling of connectedness can bring us a great deal of peace as we start to realise that perhaps we are not alone in the world. 

Spirituality is different from religion, but is linked to it. Religion is about adhering to a set of doctrines that define each particular faith. Religion will often have a spiritual component – a worldview that has an idea of something greater than us (God, for example) and may also involve a spiritual connection as part of the religious practice. However, you do not need to be religious to be spiritual, and indeed being religious doesn’t need to be spiritual!

So how important is spirituality to our mental health and wellbeing? There has been a lot of research over the past decade that considers this question. The findings show that engaging in spiritual practices have a positive impact on our mental health. Lower levels of depression can be found in those who are actively involved in spiritual communities. Levels of stress and anxiety can be lowered by engaging in spiritual practices, and spirituality can be instrumental in the recovery from trauma. Also, there can be a greater sense of purpose and meaning from having a spiritual perspective, which can have a positive impact on our wellbeing. 

Having a committed spiritual practice – whether it is mediation, prayer, or whatever feels right for you – reading spiritual philosophy and engaging with a spiritual or religious community can be hugely beneficial in improving and maintaining positive mental health. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be spiritual, it is worth spending a few moments thinking about life and the wonders that we see around us. It is easy to see that there is more to life than our own limited worldview and when we step back and consider this, our problems and daily issues can be put into perspective as we gain a more holistic view of life.

 

Dr Simon Cassar is an integrative existential therapist, trained in Person Centred Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), and Existential Psychotherapy. He is available in our Hove and Lewes clinics and also works online.

 

Further reading by Dr Simon Cassar –

Living with borderline personality disorder

Online Therapy

Student mental health – how to stay healthy at university

Four domains – maintaining wellbeing in turbulent times

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Filed Under: Mental health, Simon Cassar, Spirituality Tagged With: Mental Health, spirituality, wellbeing

November 2, 2016 by Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy Leave a Comment

What is an integrative existential therapist?

People often ask me what it means to be an integrative existential therapist and how it differs from other forms of therapy. The most important thing to consider when choosing a therapist, however, is not the fancy title of the form of therapy delivered, but the relationship you can make with the therapist. Can you form a connection with that person? Do you think you can relate to them? Do you think you can trust them with your innermost feelings?

These are not easy questions to answer until you have met your therapist and acquired a sense of the relationship between you. You have to trust your inner feelings and intuition as to whether you feel you can work with your therapist and whether their skills and way of looking at the world will help you overcome whatever difficulties you wish to face when engaging in psychotherapy. That being said, how do you start in finding the right therapist for you? This brings us back to the way in which the therapist works, or their ‘modality’.  So what is an integrative existential therapist?

An integrative therapist is one who has trained in various modalities and will use the way of working that is right for you at any specific time. At times, you might need someone to listen and just let you tell your story. At other times, you might need someone to be more directive and give you practical skills to help you navigate life and work with your emotions and thoughts. At another point, you might need someone to challenge your own philosophy in life and help you find a better way of being and existing in the world. This takes us to the ‘existential’ part.

An existential therapist works with how you position yourself in the world and how you view the world and those around you. In existential therapy, you might want to face some of the bigger questions in life:

  • What is my purpose?
  • Why is there no meaning in my life?
  • Why do I feel so isolated and alone?
  • What is my relationship towards my own mortality?
  • How can I express my spiritual or religious feelings in a society that may not accommodate them?

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, but these ‘big’ questions can be there in the background, giving us a sense of unease or disconnection from life. Facing these issues can be hugely rewarding and can impact all areas of our life, how we view the world around us and how we relate to others. This doesn’t mean that being in existential therapy is an intellectual pursuit where you sit around philosophising. Rather, it is about making a connection with your therapist that allows you to express your innermost feelings and to understand why you feel the way you do, and how you can make the changes to your life that you want to. It allows you to explore your life experiences openly and honestly and obtain a clearer sense of the meanings they may hold for you.

Dr Simon Cassar is an integrative existential therapist, trained in Person Centred Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), and Existential Psychotherapy.

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Filed Under: Psychotherapy, Simon Cassar Tagged With: existential psychotherapy, Psychotherapy, spirituality

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