Why is it that we find it so difficult to identify the positives in ourselves and so easy to see the negatives?As human beings we seem to be programmed to be able to identify our failings, e.g. what we’re no good at, what we haven’t done or what didn’t go well. Or it might be that you can’t stop … [Read more...]
Facing The Green-Eyed Monster
Of all the emotions that are difficult for couples to deal with, nothing can be quite as degrading and destructive as jealousy. Its process is one of moving its host from a place of security to one where merely a look or glance can leave the heart racing and the mind frantic, as it searches for a … [Read more...]
Save? Edit? Delete?
In 2002 an Australian journalist coined the term ‘selfie’. June 2007 saw the launch of iPhone and by 2013 the word ‘selfie’ was chosen by the Oxford English Dictionary as the ‘Word Of The Year’. Never as individuals have we been more likely to have a picture taken as we are now. An awareness of how … [Read more...]
What is ‘othering’ and why is it important?
What is othering?Othering describes a phenomenon whereby groups of people with a certain identity are marginalised and seen as outside the mainstream or norm. Those likely to be othered are often done so on the basis of race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, class, caste, culture, disability, … [Read more...]
When it comes to parenting, are you a builder or a gardener?
What a job it is to raise a child! So full of difficulty, so many moving parts in the process, so much resourcefulness and energy required. Then, just when the parent takes breath to admire their creation, off goes the young adult – at times with barely a backward glance. The parents are left behind … [Read more...]
Reflections on getting back to normal
In living with Coronavirus we have shared (to greater and lesser degrees) in a collective experience of trauma. We have had to learn to be separate from friends and family. We have had to live, die and give birth in isolation. We have had to grieve in isolation too. The Covid virus has brought many … [Read more...]
How psychotherapy groups can help change our internalised family systems
Family backgrounds and valuesFrom our earliest times, we absorb the emotional systems of our family environment. As we make our way in the world we take our families with us, internalised and manifesting consciously and unconsciously in many, if not all, aspects of our lives.While the … [Read more...]
Women and Anger
Women have a lot to be angry about. Aside from how our current political and social landscape still disadvantages women, all women inherit a long lasting legacy of the oppression and suffrage of their close female ancestors. This legacy is still intensely felt in society today, and the emotional and … [Read more...]
Why is Netflix’s Squid Game so popular?
If you haven’t heard of the phenomenon that is ‘Squid Game’ then you either have not got Netflix, or are asleep. However, for those of you who haven’t, here is an extremely brief synopsis:Squid Game is set in modern day South Korea and is a dystopian nightmare of a game whereby the wealthy and … [Read more...]
What is the Menopause? (part two)
The historian Susan Mattern argues there is no doubt there is some value to naming menopause as a concept. It has provided women with reasons and different perspectives and interventions on what can be sometimes very distressing symptoms. However she points out that modern medicine can have a … [Read more...]
Parental Alienation and the impact on children
Separation or divorce are painful, difficult and time consuming processes and more so where children are involved. Few couples manage to amicably separate and sadly, this applies to couples who have a child or children together too.Although it may seem obvious, my experience is that couples who … [Read more...]
What is the Menopause? (part one)
I found myself being asked ‘what is the menopause?' by a friend’s 13 year old son a few weeks ago. All the women in the room chimed in to answer. It was not surprising to me that he asked, nor was it surprising all the women answered. Interestingly I had no idea about the menopause at his age and I … [Read more...]
Space: The Final Frontier of Manic Defence
As a boy I was fascinated by space travel. I remember being glued to the television set with awe as the Space Shuttle blasted off into space back in the early 80s - I was born after the epic Apollo programme came to an end and was just the right age to appreciate the engineering accomplishments in … [Read more...]
Why there’s nothing as infuriating as Anger Management
As psychotherapists, we have often been asked to provide anger management. Whilst we know some people need to control their anger to prevent destructive effects on themselves and their relationships, what was then called anger management mainly consisted of breathing and cognitive techniques to … [Read more...]
The Passage of Time
Being human means living with the knowledge that we will one day die and that those we love will die too. As mortal beings we are the children of time and none of us are spared its reckoning. Time makes playthings of us all and we are powerless in its passage. A healer it may be but ultimately we do … [Read more...]