Psychotherapy was revolutionised in the second half of the last century by the development of attachment theory, the science of human bonding and needs. I wrote about this in my BHP blog ‘Why we need a secure base’. It describes how infants who do not have their primary needs met – for comfort, warmth and…
When working with trainees and supervisees, I frequently refer to the need for a psychotherapist to ‘stay in their chair’. Let me explain. Psychotherapy is a relationship. It is a very intimate and unique relationship between the clinician and their patient, which is principally about the needs of the patient. This, however, does not mean…
Dissociation is a term used to describe the mental process of ‘getting rid of’ painful or traumatic feelings by banishing them to a ‘nothing’ place within – for good and for bad. The paradox of dissociation is that in the process of such banishment, far from being shut down, traumatic experience can take on a…
As a psychotherapist, I sometimes encounter individuals struggling with the unsettling emotion of envy. While we might visualise the ‘green-eyed monster’ and make light of it, it can sometimes grow into a significant problem. The socio-economic context Many of us face anxieties over whether what we have is enough. Today, even those who once felt…
The image above* is of Jim Jones who led the Jonestown massacre in November 1978 where 909 people died, a quarter of whom were children. Jim decided that the children should be the first ones to drink the poison. He matches the broad definition of a cult leader, which I compiled from a range of…
In the journey of personal development and mental wellbeing, the concept of a growth mindset has emerged as a powerful tool. Have you ever faced a challenge and felt like giving up because you thought you were not ‘good enough’? The idea of a growth mindset, coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, offers a different perspective—one…
In my two previous articles, I have defined a cult and the mind-control process. Now, I would like to talk about what makes people join a cult and why we should care. No one joins a cult Firstly, people don’t join cults: they join a course, an activity, a personal development workshop, a meditation class,…
All of us make mistakes; we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. But some past failures or mistakes have a habit of being repeated time and time again. These could be work related, like promising yourself that you’ll hand in an assignment ahead of time, only to leave everything to the last minute and deliver…
There has been a growing interest in Buddhist thinking over many years, which is perhaps influenced by the popular practice of mindfulness to help with anxiety and many other emotional issues. Often people will come to psychotherapy and use the technique of mindfulness as part of their therapeutic journey. Some then become curious about the…
We all dream – whether we remember them or not. And there is plenty of fascination about dreams and what they may mean, ranging from nothing at all, to being a means and method of understanding a patient’s unconscious. In 1899, Sigmund Freud wrote The Interpretation of Dreams outlining his theory of the unconscious and…
Motivation is the spark that drives our behaviours, whether it’s waking up early for work, pursuing a personal goal, or simply seeking enjoyment in daily life. But what exactly fuels this drive? Modern neuroscience offers fascinating insights into the mechanisms behind motivation and its role in our mental well-being. What is motivation? Motivation is broadly…
Brainwashing or thought reform is not a one-off event but a gradual process of breaking down and transformation. Thus, thought reform is a concerted effort to change a person’s way of looking at the world, which will change his or her behaviour. To understand more about mind control, or brainwashing, I will explain it in…
As a psychotherapist, I’ve come to understand healing as a profound journey—not unlike the transformative experience described in the photo of the welcome sign below, sent to me by a colleague who has recently walked the Camino de Santiago. Just as pilgrims leave behind their familiar comforts to venture into the unknown, therapy invites you…
Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly. The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh. Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions…
In my last blog I wrote about goals for change and linking these to our values. When someone decides to come into therapy it is often because they would like to make changes and it can help to set goals as a means of knowing when these changes have been achieved. Given this is a…
Twixtmas, that time between Christmas and New Year seems to be a particularly difficult time for many. Why is this? The build up to Christmas and the accompanying excitement for some, and anxiety for many, can leave us feeling depleted and down in the immediate aftermath of the big day. Perhaps a lot of why…
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be, yet like the weather, it often fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts. For so many of us our family experience often falls far short of the loving…
As the holiday season descends upon us like a glittering, tinsel-laden avalanche, many find themselves navigating the tricky or sometimes treacherous emotional landscape of family gatherings. Fear not, dear reader, for psychoanalytic psychotherapy could offer a guiding star, a beacon of hope to lead you through the holiday chaos to that peaceful Nativity scene, stable…
Self-esteem is often spoken about and seen as something that we should be aspiring towards. However, what is less clear is exactly what constitutes ‘self-esteem’ and how we can best define this concept. What is self-esteem? Well, according to Jordan Peterson it simply does not exist. However, he is in the minority with this. Whilst…
I have previously written about the psychological impact on children who grow up in cults. But what is the definition of a cult? I’m going to share with you how some academics in this field describe a cult – there are five key attributes that can help us with this explanation. Let’s go through each…