In my last blog I wrote about goals for change and linking these to our values. When someone decides to come into therapy it is often because they would like to make changes and it can help to set goals as a means of knowing when these changes have been achieved. Given this is a…
Twixtmas, that time between Christmas and New Year seems to be a particularly difficult time for many. Why is this? The build up to Christmas and the accompanying excitement for some, and anxiety for many, can leave us feeling depleted and down in the immediate aftermath of the big day. Perhaps a lot of why…
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be, yet like the weather, it often fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts. For so many of us our family experience often falls far short of the loving…
As the holiday season descends upon us like a glittering, tinsel-laden avalanche, many find themselves navigating the tricky or sometimes treacherous emotional landscape of family gatherings. Fear not, dear reader, for psychoanalytic psychotherapy could offer a guiding star, a beacon of hope to lead you through the holiday chaos to that peaceful Nativity scene, stable…
Self-esteem is often spoken about and seen as something that we should be aspiring towards. However, what is less clear is exactly what constitutes ‘self-esteem’ and how we can best define this concept. What is self-esteem? Well, according to Jordan Peterson it simply does not exist. However, he is in the minority with this. Whilst…
I have previously written about the psychological impact on children who grow up in cults. But what is the definition of a cult? I’m going to share with you how some academics in this field describe a cult – there are five key attributes that can help us with this explanation. Let’s go through each…
In this article, I discuss creativity as foundational to being human, how it enables an emotionally and psychologically fulfilling life, and its relationship with psychotherapy. Everyday creativity When we think of creativity we tend to think of world-renowned artists such as Leonardo da Vinci, Picasso, Mozart. This, however, is a very narrow interpretation of creativity…
To some, the suggestion of being creative conjures exciting ideas of creating art, music and stories. To others it invokes a sense of dread, with a belief that creativity must be accompanied by a special talent, accomplishment and validation from others. This could be from negative experiences of art or music, for example in childhood,…
What does vulnerability mean to you? Is it part of being human, something to acknowledge and embrace, or do you find ourselves shying away from it? Vulnerability is part of what connects us to others. By being open, revealing something of ourselves and seeing that in others, we build connections. It’s not a given and…
Is there an expectation that we will not have uncomfortable emotions? To have different emotions is to be human. Life is about feeling emotions. We notice our emotions and label them. Emotion is normal, we have to feel it to get past it. How we look at things and process information is based on our…
I explored the use of pornography and its presence in society in previous blog. In thinking about pornography, there is the question of why some people might become habitual users. What part might childhood trauma play in the development of compulsive use of pornography? Trauma, attachment and anxiety The experience of trauma in formative years can…
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. These lines open Philip Larkin’s best-known poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. I still remember our English…
Transference is a complicated process and concept. This article attempts to describe it in simple terms, focussing on a basic understanding and highlighting why it is felt to be so important in analytic psychotherapies. I will end by thinking about how it can emerge and be used in both individual and group therapy. What are…
Poets and artists have an uncanny knack for connecting our hearts and minds. In many ways this is also the project of psychotherapy; in any application of the underlying science it too becomes an art. Rarely do people enter therapy in search of theories, rather they want their experience, often painful, addressed. Dealing with the…
When most of us think about the brain, we tend to associate it with thinking—solving problems, making decisions, or engaging in intellectual discussions. However, according to Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett in her chapter ‘Your Brain Is Not for Thinking’ from Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain, thinking is not the brain’s most fundamental…
In the UK, it is a requirement for trainee psychotherapists to be in weekly therapy with a senior practitioner throughout the duration of their training. However, once qualified many therapists do not continue their personal therapy beyond the therapy hours required. In this blog, I argue why it is vital for psychotherapists working at depth…
Two articles, one written by a human therapist and the other by a chatbot – can you tell which is which? Part one: The human touch: why a human therapist outshines an AI therapist In today’s rapidly evolving world, technology continues to reshape various aspects of our lives, including mental health care. With advancements in…
All forms of psychotherapy, from the classically analytical, through to humanistic, evolved from psychoanalysis and thus Freud. The cadence of psychoanalysis has changed very little over the years, with sessions taking place between three and five times per week, generally at the same time each day. Psychotherapy evolved directly from analysis but is also quite…
Sometimes it is much easier to recognise the signs of lack of self-care in other people, than it is to see it in ourselves. What do we mean by self-care? The expression sounds self-explanatory, but do we know what it involves? Most people recognise signs of depletion when they begin losing energy, passion and creativity….
On the face of it, these two words seem to have similar meanings, however, spontaneity is generally deemed a positive attribute whilst impulsivity a negative one. Why is this? If we check how the dictionary defines the act of being spontaneous, it suggests that it is an adjective used to describe someone given to acting…