Narcissism has become a cultural obsession. It is discussed as though it were a new epidemic, a modern pathology spreading through society like a virus. The phrase “age of narcissism” is now so common that it is rarely questioned. Yet when we look closely, a more accurate formulation emerges. It is not that narcissism is…
Narcissism is one of those clinical terms that has escaped the consulting room and taken on a life of its own. Like many borrowed psychological ideas, it has been flattened. In popular culture, narcissism is routinely used as a moral verdict, a convenient label for a certain kind of person who is selfish, callous, entitled,…
Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly. The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh. Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions…
Do you experience anxiety in social situations that can be overwhelming or even debilitating? Is it affecting your social life, work, relationships – your everyday happiness? If so, this article is for you. Asking what the function of your shyness is might seem a strange question – you didn’t choose it, right? Yet exploring the…
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be, yet like the weather, it often fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts. For so many of us our family experience often falls far short of the loving…
Everybody loves Christmas. That’s a fact. At least if you watch how it is portrayed by the media and subscribe to the collective mania of ‘preparing for the big day’………. Of course, the reality is that many of us find Christmas difficult and for some it can feel unbearable. We have the statistics for this…
There is a lot of discussion about the risks posed by AI ‘therapy’, but there is something else that has been happening online for years, in the context of social media: the increasing volume of real people offering mental health expertise in a way that can easily populate algorithms, occupy thought processes and inform emotional…
The relationship Psychotherapy is fundamentally an exploration of how we relate to ourselves and to others, and the client, therapist relationship is no different. The relationship that develops between client and therapist exists within contractual boundaries, but it is also about people being present and connected. There are moments of great attunement in which the…
At the heart of every relationship lies a tension between safety and uncertainty. Safety allows us to let go of our worries and feel secure in ourselves and our relationships. But too much safety can make life feel flat and stuck. While uncertainty can keep us and our relationships feeling alive and open to growth,…
Having previously explored the compulsive use of pornography, I wanted to continue reflecting on what it’s like to work with clients who consider their use to be excessive. Should I talk about my therapy? A common question that arises is, ‘should I talk about my therapy’? Clients sometimes ask whether they should speak to their…
A foundational principle of depth therapy is that until mourned, the past is never truly past. It lives on in the present in our relationships shaping how we see others, how we see ourselves and in how others see us. In the consulting room, this process plays out much the same way as it does…
The formation of identity is never a solitary endeavour. From our earliest moments, we develop a sense of who we are through relationship—first with primary caregivers, then with siblings, peers, and the broader cultural world. Yet this process of coming to selfhood while remaining in relationship with others presents profound psychological challenges, particularly when differences…
In the therapy room, shame – which we often hide, almost at any cost – frequently hinders progress. Clients sometimes conceal aspects of their behaviour they fear are shameful, such as viewing pornography, taking class A drugs, or losing their temper. This is because it is perhaps one of the most intense and complex feelings…
What is NVR? Non Violent Resistance (NVR) is a powerful, relational approach that supports parents facing violence, aggression, controlling behaviour, or destructive family dynamics. It is equally valuable for families who feel overwhelmed, depleted, or stuck in unhelpful patterns, even when violence is not present. At its heart, NVR helps families recognise unhelpful dynamics, build…
Becoming a psychoanalytic psychotherapist is a deeply transformative process. It changes the way we understand others and gradually reshapes our relationship with ourselves. The training asks us to move through dense theoretical material while cultivating a steady emotional presence, and this mirrors the kind of work we hope to offer our clients. The water we…
Our early experiences can shape how we relate to ourselves and others in the present. Often, the survival strategies we developed in childhood can remain with us well into our adult life. One lesser-known but very important survival response is called ‘fawning’, and is often discussed in the context of the other well-known responses of…
When disaster changes the course of life, the effects are rarely contained to the moment of crisis. The visible damage is often matched by hidden struggles that surface in the days, months, or years afterwards. In my own work, I have sat alongside people who have faced devastating events, and I have seen how deeply…
Artificial Intelligence is increasingly being promoted as a tool for psychological support, whether through chatbots, self-help apps, or experimental “AI therapists.” The proposition is seductive: instant access, apparent empathy, and cost-effective delivery. Yet beneath the promise lies a profound risk, one I would call “AI psychosis.” By this I do not mean psychosis in the…
For some children, school is a place of growth, friendship, and discovery. For others, however, walking through the gates each morning can feel like an uphill climb. The school day may seem long, and the combination of lessons, friendships, and expectations can stir emotions that children find difficult to express. Parents often notice the signs…
Spend ten minutes on social media and you’d think trauma therapy is a rare, specialist service that only a select few therapists can offer. The implication is clear: most therapy isn’t “trauma-informed,” so you need to shop for the right label. This is marketing, not clinical reality. If you are in depth psychotherapy, psychoanalytic, psychodynamic,…