It’s important to note that the term ‘psychologist’ is not actually a protected title. So, anyone can technically call themselves a psychologist. If someone claims to be a psychologist, then the question to ask is, what kind of psychologist are they, and perhaps more importantly, what qualifications do they have. Undergraduate degrees may be undertaken…
Silences are an inevitable and potentially helpful part of the therapeutic process. However, a number of people I see as a therapist express a feeling that they are not getting something right when a silence arises in our work together. The psychotherapy world (in particular the psychoanalytic and group analytic fields) has also had some…
Since the early 1960s, psychologists have been interested in the relationship between parenting and the emotional, social and behavioural development of children. Of particular significance to this field of study, is the early work of psychologist Diana Baumrind and colleagues, who conducted the first longitudinal study of more than 100 preschoolers through to their adolescence,…
You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.”? Franz Kafka Loss is a feature in almost every encounter we experience as psychotherapists. It’s a common…
The arrival of Viagra (sildenafil citrate) came on the market in 1998 as the first drug to treat impotence. Impotence is the consistent inability among men to achieve and sustain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse and/or to achieve ejaculation. Like the contraceptive pill in the 1960s it was greeted as a life changer giving…
Long-term Psychotherapy is all about leaving the family – not literally – but in the psychological sense. This is a much more complex process than it sounds. Why? Because it takes years of back and forth, and it is a journey which although slow, in my view essential for psychological health. If you were lucky…
When we think about psychological difficulties, we often think of these as being purely in the mind. In some of my other blogs I’ve spoken about the link between mind and body, and this is something I work with a lot in my therapy sessions with clients. This is particularly relevant with issues of anxiety;…
I am a dramatherapist and I am talking today about one of my favourite subjects. I am going to explain the benefits of working with creativity in the therapy room. When we are being creative we are using a part of our brain which does not relate to logic or linear time. This part of…
When we are feeling depressed it is common to withdraw from those that we are close to, to shut ourselves away, turn down social invitations and generally pull away from friends and family. By doing this we are refusing the help and support of others, possibly because we feel bad about ourselves or that we…
Earlier this month (October 2019) the government announced a new service for gaming addicts aged 13-25 at the Centre for Internet and Gaming Disorders. According to the World Health Authority Gaming Disorder is a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behaviour so severe that it “takes precedence over other life interests”. This description could equally…
The urge to migrate twists through the marrow of our bones; the restless energy moving our ancestors across vast wastelands in search of a better life mirrors our journey to self-actualisation. With global migration on the rise what happens to your relationship to yourself and to others when you leave your birth country for a…
Who wants to be ordinary? The word has unpleasant connotations; like something that offers little that is good or substantial. And yet it is a word I often think about and return to in my clinical practice. It could even be one of the primary goals of therapy: to become ordinary. In the world today…
This blog follows on from my previous blogs – Existential Therapy and A consideration of some vital notions connected to Existential Therapies. In Existential Therapy reflecting on death anxiety would not be the same without a consideration of Heidegger. Heidegger (1927) regarded human beings as always ‘being towards death’. He asserted the significance of anticipating…
We have all heard the phrase. Often shouted at a moment of crisis on a television programme or film: “Don’t just sit there, do something!” As if ‘doing something’, anything at all, will make a difference. Of course, the reality is that doing something does make a difference, if not to the outcome of the…
In this blog, we explore postnatal depression and summarise a classic paper by Lawrence Blum, an American psychiatric and psychotherapist. It was originally written in relation to postnatal depression in mothers, but also explores the conflicts that appear when becoming a parent and applies to fathers, same-sex couples and couples where caring for the child…
Death like birth is a one off life event. We cannot learn through our experience of either to “get it right” next time. Love on the other hand (or the act of ‘falling in love’) is an event amenable to repetition. As such it is also available for re-definition by the forces of culture –…
“Watch your plants and see what they’re telling you” (Ollie Walker, Hosta grower, Gardeners’ World, BBC2, 14.6.19). Ollie Walker has fallen in love with the diversity of Hostas and delights in watching them grow. This is some dedicated watching: the nursery he works at stock over 800 varieties. Noticing small changes in thousands of plants,…
The way we relate to others, including our partners is complex and multi-layered. It is developed over time and although we can to an extent control what we say and do within our relationships it is more difficult to understand why we behave and feel the way we do in relation to others. One way…
As much as we might fight it, our own experiences of being parented, create within us blueprints or ‘internal working models’ of what it is to be a parent. These models only become fully activated when we become parents ourselves, and often take us by surprise. For instance, we may find ourselves ‘turning into’ our…
This blog follows on from my previous blog – Existential Therapy. This is how I have interpreted some vital notions connected to existential therapies. Existential therapy is a diverse approach which is used to understand and clarify a client’s problems and possibilities for living their existence. Below are some more of the vital principles (as…