Ask yourself if you would like to be described as being ‘average’ and it might not be your first choice. Average might feel like a vague insult, a reflection on yourself that you’d rather not have. When we use the term ‘average’ we don’t see much that is positive about it. What is ‘average’? By…
At a fundamental level, couple counselling provides an opportunity for a couple to explore their relationship with a therapist who facilitates the exploration. Couples have said to me that they really value the dedicated time, space and support to talk about feelings and difficulties that don’t feel safe to share with each other elsewhere. What…
Guilt can be a particularly tortuous feeling and, for some, a chronic state of mind. Below, I will think about different aspects of this complicated emotion. Origins of Guilt For Melanie Klein (1), guilt is part of a small child’s normal development, when they realise that they can hate and feel aggressive towards those they…
Most people enter into couples counselling when their relationship has got problems. These problems can take the form of a crisis, such as an affair, or be more chronic, such as a loss of intimacy between a couple over a long period of time. What does it mean to ‘fix’ a relationship? The word ‘fix’…
Recent Events: The Death of Queen Elizabeth and COVID The recent death of Queen Elizabeth has drawn people together in grief in a ways both individual and shared. Having been Queen and a globally public figure for 70 years, her death felt like the loss of what had been a constant and stable presence in…
It is not so long ago that couples would have needed to be on the point of permanent separation before they would consider any type of counselling for themselves. If they did decide to embark on such a course, it might well be done as a last-ditch attempt to save things, often within the context…
One of the most profound experiences we can have is to become a parent. If you had a good experience of growing up in a happy home where your needs were considered important, you felt secure, this is the best preparation for becoming a parent yourself. However, life is not quite as easy as that…
For most of us, the start of a relationship is an extremely exciting time. Not only is the relationship itself hugely enjoyable – fun and life-enhancing – but it can also seem to transform our world. Put simply, it makes the world seem a better place. It seems odd to think that something that develops…
One of the most common questions asked by individuals enquiring about couple’s counselling is whether the process will save their marriage? This is an understandable question and is driven by anxiety in relation to thoughts of a break-up. The answer to this question is not simple and the variables lie with the two individuals in…
Counselling and Psychotherapy can help with a range of issues that we may find difficult overcoming by talking to friends and family. There is a significant difference in talking to a skilled professional outside of your social and family circle, someone who is formally trained and experienced in what they do and understands how to…
Starting couple counselling can feel both daunting and anxiety provoking, especially if it something you have not previously undertaken. Knowing up-front what to expect can reduce some of the anxiety and enable you to focus on what you actually want to get from your sessions. Your counsellor or psychotherapist should be suitably qualified You are taking…
So you have taken the difficult step to go to couple counselling – what do you do now? Obviously there are a lot of variables when it comes to couples’ attending counselling together. Some couples are both on the same page and have a common goal, albeit they are struggling to reach that goal, whereas…
Mental Health has become a hot topic in the last few years. We often hear about it in the media, and because of more public awareness about mental health issues, more employers are adopting mental health policies and offering employees more support. Whilst mental health used to be seen as something related to mental illness,…
Couples Counselling or Couples Therapy can help the couple communicate better, look at past influences on present behaviour and help the individuals within the couple understand themselves and their partner better. Depending on approach to couples therapy, the therapist will either work with the here-and-now issues and provide the couple with tools to better communicate…
The term ‘mental health’ is pretty broad and encompasses emotional and psychological health. When people talk about mental health they are often referring to symptoms such as depression or anxiety but rarely do they mean psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia, for example. Therefore, the answer to how to go about getting a mental health diagnosis…
Psychotherapy is a method of treating mental health issues through psychological, rather than medical means. Known as ‘the talking cure’ a psychotherapist’s role is to work with patients or clients, generally on a minimum of a weekly basis, over a period of months or years. The work takes place within what is called a ‘therapeutic…
Starting a new psychotherapy group always gives me a sense of excitement. Until everyone is in the room together you never quite know what’s going to happen. And of course, that’s just the beginning. Growing a group In group analysis we often talk about ‘growing’ a group. It’s a useful way to describe the process….
Mental health is constantly in the news and not a day goes by without an article, blog post or news piece on the topic. The great contradiction is that whilst we know more about mental health now and how to manage it, the busy, chaotic and plugged-in world we live in does little to help…
Finding a psychotherapist can feel like a daunting task. For starters, the difference between a counsellor and psychotherapist may not immediately be apparent. Then there are the different modalities, or approaches to therapy. And lastly, there are the different professional bodies to make sense of. The term ‘psychotherapist’, unlike ‘clinical psychologist’, is not a legally…
In both coaching and psychotherapy I am always fascinated by the reasons people choose certain career paths or lines of work. It is also interesting to see how career paths develop and change because of personal choices and how people’s personalities interact within organisations and changes in the job market. These explorations can be vital…