Alice Ayres Sitting on the Tube with a relatively new friend, I suddenly found myself feeling awkward in the middle of an anecdote. “And on a Thursday evening, I…I…” I cast a sideways glance at him. How would he react? Could I trust him not to judge me negatively? In the heat of the moment,…
Alice Ayres reflects on her first session with her therapist. How did I feel back then? When I’m looking back at a difficult period of my life from a position of relative stability, I tend to minimise how bad things really felt for me back then. I think this is a fairly common thing. I…
On Friday, everybody in the UK awoke to a new world. The dust has yet to settle and the repercussions of the vote to be enacted; we live in interesting times. Whilst I have a view on whether we should or should not leave the EU, this blog is not about that. It is about…
An introduction Hello. I’m Alice Ayres. Up until now on this blog, it’s always been the therapists speaking. This is the first of a series of blog posts in which I will be presenting a view from the other chair, the view of the client. I hope it will be useful to those considering or…
Overthinking and overdoing can lead us to feeling stressed and anxious, disrupt our sleep and even lead to depression. We have previously written about the role of psychotherapy in emotional regulation. However, we all need a daily practice with simple steps to quieten the mind and feel more present with ourselves and others. If you…
Does psychotherapy cure addiction? The answer to this question depends very much on whether addiction is seen as a disease in the medical sense of the word, and secondly, on whether it is indeed the goal of therapy to cure. In response to these questions, I would suggest that rather than being a disease (as…
Two of the most frequent questions we get asked is are there any differences between counselling and psychotherapy and which do I need? Well, one way of thinking about the difference is that counselling is more about having someone walk alongside you during a difficult time. Sometimes this is all that’s needed – someone who…
The term ‘affect regulation’ is one that I have written about previously and one that is increasingly used in the world of applied psychology and neuroscience. It can be a very useful term for bringing together psychology, biology and in explaining why good psychotherapy works, so read on! What is regulation? We all regulate (manage)…
It is not unusual for prospective or current clients in psychotherapy to ask, “What is the point of me remembering that and feeling sad, upset, angry (insert whichever uncomfortable emotion comes to mind)?” And even when not posed directly, the question plays in the unconscious through resistance in the therapy and a quick shift of…
Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA) described it as ‘a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and change’. In Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy, we adopt the philosophical principles that: – People are fundamentally OK, even if they sometimes behave in not-OK ways; – Everyone (with rare exceptions) has the capacity to…
Every psychotherapist has a view on what therapy is and how they practice. As I write this blog, I am drawn to my bookshelf filled with tomes by both historical and modern clinicians, detailing precisely how to practice this art that is psychotherapy. Having recently commissioned a set of videos introducing Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy…
We all have bad habits. Some are fairly innocuous and others, at the extreme, can develop into behavioural addictions. Many of us try our hardest to break bad habits, but end up failing miserably. There is a particular time of year – New Year’s – when many of us set out to ‘turn over a…
Attachment theory is something I draw on a lot in my practice. However, unlike psycho-analytic theory, the concepts are relatively simple. Simply put, attachment theory describes how we respond to relationships. There are broadly four different styles (or, as I prefer to think of them – adaptations) of attachment: secure; avoidant, ambivalent; and disorganised. Briefly,…
Anger management is a common term used in working with clients with anger issues. Even Hollywood has capitalised on the term as a title for a movie, which unsurprisingly was directed at a largely male audience. At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy we offer work on ‘anger management’, however, what this actually comprises may well be…
There is a lot of wisdom in sayings that have been part of our language and culture for as long as we can remember. For example, being ‘on the back foot’, meaning to be at a disadvantage or on the defensive, is a perfect expression of how our relationship to our body influences how we…
Judith Herman (1992), writes: “Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force. Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning” Although Herman’s book was written more than twenty years ago, and findings…
Like many of us, at the end of each year I like to take some time to reflect on the past year and also look to the year ahead for changes and improvements I’d like to make in the personal and professional areas of my life. The beginning of a new calendar year can be…
This time of year can evoque a range of feelings in most of us. Whilst some of us may have a festive and positive outlook on Christmas and look forward to spending time with friends and family, for many it is a time filled with conflicting emotions. Some of us have difficult memories associated with…
Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy started after Mark and I decided it was time to get our own premises. Finding the right work environment wasn’t easy. We spent years practicing from other clinics, never quite satisfied with the therapy rooms we used. Although, arguably, good therapy work can take place almost anywhere. A warm and welcoming…
In our last blog, entitled ‘The Pyramid of Change’, we introduced the concept (and paradox) that in order to achieve results (change) the locus of attention needs to begin not with change but with the felt sense in the body. How can we facilitate this? Counsellors and psychotherapists are taught to ask one particular question,…