Couples can often get into familiar and fixed patterns of relating which can be deeply unsatisfying to both parties. This style of relating is one which can eventually seriously threaten the health and longevity of a relationship. In this brief blog, I open a window onto a session which explores a particular dynamic which I frequently encounter…
A Response to Johann Hari’s Book – Lost Connections As a psychotherapist, I welcome honest debates about mental health, as they can help reduce the stigma and isolation of many sufferers experience. Recently, a book has been published by controversial author Johann Hari, that has created a bit of a storm, in which he claims to…
Warning – This article contains spoilers for anyone who has not seen the movie Lady Bird. A critical success, this film about a mother and daughter relationship falls into the ‘coming of age’ genre, however it is also so much more than this in considering the systemic and unconscious processes at work that make…
For many women in the 21st century, the menopause leads to a sense of freedom, independence and creativity. Of course, I want to celebrate this, but I also want to talk about less welcome aspects. Culturally, the menopause is still somewhat feared and is something of a taboo. It is also open to derision and…
Berlin was the setting for a symposium organised by the International Group Analytic Society (IGAS.) Over 600 people from 40 plus countries attended. This was my first time in Berlin, a place I had wanted to visit for a long time. When I saw the symposium was going to be based there, it made the…
Come the New Year, come the idea to make some changes; to get fit, to be happier, to drink less – the list goes on. I am sure it is a well-researched fact that sales of self-help books increase in January, as does gym membership. And yet how often does the resolve dissolve after a…
The relationship between a psychotherapist and their supervisor is a very important one. Supervision is a vital place to reflect on clinical dilemmas, talk about professional issues and learn from someone more experienced. It can also be a self-care exercise. It feels good to talk to a trusted colleague about our work in a confidential…
Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly. The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh. Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions…
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be. Yet like the weather fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts, for many of us, our family experience often falls far short of the loving idyllic family reunions…
Remember when I told you that panic attacks originate in the body and can therefore only be controlled through our relationship with the body? It is called Soft Belly – Soft Throat – Soft Tongue. This is how you do it: You can do this process any time, anywhere. While it is ideal to do…
Panic attacks can be terrifying and debilitating. They can feel as if you are going to die and like you have lost control of your body. While nobody has literally died from a panic attack, feeling out of control and overcome by fear and anxiety can be one of the most unpleasant experiences. It causes…
In this age of jettisoning the past and continually embracing the new, the answer to the question of how psychotherapy works has remained largely unchanged since the days of Freud. Modern enquiry and comprehension brings the capacity to understand what happens in the brain as a result of effective analysis, psychotherapy, or indeed, good enough…
Andrew Robinson, an MA Photography student from the University of Brighton, recently visited our Hove clinic to photograph our rooms for a project around the therapist’s chair. We are delighted to be able to share some of Andrew’s images on our blog. His artist’s statement can be found below. Andrew can be contacted via baronbouchard@hotmail.com. In…
From ‘the family’ to ‘the couple’ There has been a historical shift from ‘the family’ to ‘the couple’ as the central organising unit in contemporary life, with an emphasis on intimate connection. The ‘ideal’ couple of today are both friends and lovers immersed in a disclosing intimacy of mind and body. For previous generations, the…
Therapists, counsellors and anyone in the helping professions can appreciate both the rewards and hazards of their respective career choices. We can give people advice on how to care better for themselves, while at times not applying the same self-care principles to ourselves. At the worst, a lack of self-care can lead to burnout and…
This year has marked the 50th anniversary of the (partial) decriminalisation of male homosexuality in the UK. This has been responded to with a slew of television and radio programmes exploring current and past personal and political experiences of LGBT individuals and communities in the UK and elsewhere. This output has been matched by a…
After the long summer, thousands of new students are heading to university. The start of the academic year is an exciting time for many, but it can also be a difficult, worrying time for some. Students today are subject to different pressures from earlier generations – financial, academic, social – that didn’t affect previous students…
Beginning the journey Starting psychotherapy can be a daunting prospect for anyone. An analogy that is often made is that of starting a journey. What is daunting is that this is a journey into the unknown, akin to the journey into the forest that is so often embarked on in fairy tales. This journey into…
It is notable that people seeking therapy who would most stand to benefit from joining a therapy group are often the least keen to do so. For some people, difficulties with being part of a group are not the main reason they’re seeking therapy. However, the thought of being in a therapy group may be…
Grief is often referred to in the context of intense feelings experienced with the loss of a loved one. The loss we experience is often caused through death. Grief is, therefore, synonymous with bereavement. This, however, is nowhere near the whole story. In order to know how to grieve, we need to understand grief. When we are told that someone…