In my experience, when exploring joining a therapy group, people often ask what it will be like. I thought it might be helpful to write a fictional narrative to give a flavour of the therapeutic experience of being in a group. This ‘case’ is not based on a real individual although some of the conflicts…
This is second of eight short blogs exploring the elements of therapeutic change as proposed by Dr Sebastian Kramer. Click here to read the first one – ‘A Desire to Change‘. 2. A primary task, a goal . . . When a client enters therapy they give us permission, to help them with an initial…
I feel lucky to live and work in a place where I am in contact with people of diverse cultural backgrounds. Many seek me out as a therapist to talk about their personal struggles with cultural identity and belonging. Difference is something which is deeply felt in one’s skin and bones and living in a…
One of the most frequently asked questions put to me in clinic, is why some children do not respond to traditional reward/punishment based behavioural strategies. The answer is simple – because, contrary to popular opinion, these strategies do not work for all children in all situations. This is because the ability to make a mental…
Freud stated that his aim in psychoanalysis was to help patients transform ‘hysterical misery into common unhappiness’. Similarly in Buddhism, the concept ‘Dukkha’ is commonly translated to suffering, unhappiness, pain or stress and refers to the habitual experience of mundane life. Why Do We Get Addicted to Things? Addiction has been around for thousands of…
I wonder how you have coped with the forced isolation imposed on all of us during the corona virus. Has the weekly hand clapping made you feel more part of your local community providing some small contact with others during the week? Or have you been part of a family meeting on Zoom or with…
I have found the Clash’s song of this title playing over in my mind when thinking about the current easing of the social lock down in the UK. It seems to me that we all, to some degree or another, now face a dilemma whether to stay or go. Straight away, it is important to…
One of my favourite papers is by Dr Sebastian Kraemer, called ‘Something Happens: Elements of Therapeutic Change’. This blog helps break down what therapists and clients set out to do, as they sit together in a therapy room both hoping that change can be immobilised from a stuck situation. This is first of eight short blogs…
In Psychotherapy people learn how to reflect more on their lives, choices, behaviours and feelings. This more thoughtful and reflective mode translates into how one sees her or his world and their place within it. We learn to feel more connected to ourselves and others, and to behave in more thoughtful ways as a…
“The passions, these “magnificent monsters” (Nietzsche, 1967, p. 521), can we consider them a gift in which something valuable can be learnt? Below is a consideration of the multiple, dynamic, creative and sometimes conflicting forces of energy that are often competing for dominance within us – what Fredrick Nietzsche sometimes described as ‘the passions’. Others…
Early in lockdown I turned to my garden for the first time in a long time and my thoughts took an interesting turn which I wanted to share with you. I spotted the jasmine shrub which had overgrown and was ‘invading’ my garden! It had put deep star shaped roots all over the garden which…
I admit the shameless plagiarising of the title of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ – ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ as it fits as a Segway into considering the tresses and strains of both finding love, and holding onto in, in the current pandemic. The statistics Disturbing statistics are emerging of surging rates of domestic violence,…
In Educational Psychotherapy (1), I explain how Educational Psychotherapy first evolved and how, as an approach, it can help promote social and emotional development as well as the thinking skills required for learning. This was illustrated through the aspects of a child’s first six months in therapy. Here, I highlight three areas of further progress…
During the last 100 days, all of our lives, across the globe, have been turned upside down. Whilst scientifically overdue and rationally unsurprising, the pandemic has shaken the foundations of our outer, and thus, inner worlds. What we came to see as normal has been curtailed or removed; what we relied on for our own…
How do we contain our children’s anxiety in such uncertain times, when we too feel anxious and unsure ourselves? When children are nervous we may notice them continually searching for reassurance – the usual advice would be to acknowledge this but keep reassurances to a minimum, modelling to them that fundamentally the adults in their…
As I write this blog, we are entering into the fourth week of so-called ‘lock-down’ across the UK. Despite daily speculation, nobody has any idea how long the restrictions on life will last for. Everything has changed and this has been hard to cope with in a society where stability and the ordinary continuity of…
The medical definition of sexual dysfunction in women is hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) that is low or no libido. Like men, women’s desire for sex is effected by all sorts of factors such as relationship issues, bereavement, physical illness and the side effects of medication, job loss or work stress, depression and anxiety, recreational…
When talking to young children, most people know that ‘open’ as opposed to ‘closed’ questions are helpful. That is, questions that cannot easily be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” answer and invite the child to give more information. These questions typically start with “who..?”, “where…?”, “what…?” and “how…?”. What many people don’t realise,…
Why do we get anxious and fearful? The anxiety /fear response is the brain’s way of trying to keep us safe and healthy. Anxiety serves as a faithful reminder of things which the brain assesses need to be avoided, based on past experience. Most of this experience is past or learned experience. This is important…
Boundaries are critical not only to a psychotherapeutic relationship, but, as many clients learn through therapy, are essential to healthy adult-to-adult relationships. In a good psychotherapeutic relationship, there is a solid contract between client and therapist such that clients know what to expect and when. And part of this knowing by the client is knowing…