This piece is written by a ‘fictional’ client who is a composite of three real-life clients who have shared their experience of psychotherapy with me. Some details have been changed to ensure confidentiality, however, the thoughts feeling and experiences expressed are those of three very real clients: When I came to psychotherapy I did not…
Cultural context We are at a particular moment in our cultural and political narratives of relationship and identity where democracy itself seems under threat. The assertion in some spheres of the perceived “right” to not be offended is at odds with the right (principle) of free speech in which there is always a risk of…
The term ‘mindfulness’ is much spoken about these days, especially in relation to mental health and wellbeing. But what does it really mean? Mindfulness generally relates to a meditation practice that has its origins in Buddhism. It is thought that the Buddha was practicing mindfulness when he gained enlightenment, and it is one of the…
Starting psychotherapy can be a daunting prospect. Researching the right psychotherapist; making contact; booking the appointment; finding the practice; waiting in the waiting room; and then…. you are invited in. You enter and sit down. Water is on the table. Perhaps you help yourself as you are suddenly unexpectedly thirsty. Or perhaps, unconsciously, the thirst…
Thank to ever increasing demand for our services, we are now looking to expand our in-house team of associates as well as set up a wider network of trusted psychotherapists we can refer to. Established in 2008 and re-branded in 2014, Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a practice offering high-quality psychology and psychotherapy to residents…
Studies of happy marriages find that anger and criticism are expressed rather than repressed. However the way that they are expressed matters. Most of us are uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generate rejection and everyone hates rejection. More often than not criticizing and complaining create a climate of negative energy…
In this blog, I want to briefly outline some of the reasons I like working with adolescents and what are perhaps some of the key struggles faced by adolescents, their carers’ and those who work with or alongside them. One of the most famous depictions of adolescents in my memory is probably Kevin, of Kevin…
We live in a complex world which, for the most part, seems to demand that we achieve certain things to ‘be someone’ and have a successful and happy life. These ‘certain things’ are the obvious trappings of society – having a good education, getting that well-paid job or rewarding career, finding that perfect relationship, having…
On my way into work the other day I happened to be listening to the radio when a program called “Inside Science” was playing. The theme for the program was “Alien Minds”. A man called Peter Godfery–Smith was talking about his book “Other Minds”. He described how we assume the existence of a central nervous…
The Man’o’Pause Much has been depicted of the male ‘mid life crisis, most of it mocking. However in my experience as a Psychotherapist, I wholly agree with author Marian Keyes, who notes, “no one really goes through a midlife crisis without experiencing real despair, real fear and real soul-searching about ‘what have you done with…
Loneliness is an experience that people coming into psychotherapy often talk about struggling with. It is an uncomfortable and often painful state and usually linked with feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness. But maybe loneliness isn’t necessarily just a bad experience. Below, I will explore possible causes and suggest there are some positive and helpful…
Recently Dr Simon Cassar interviewed integrative psychotherapist and co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy Mark Vahrmeyer on the question of ‘What is Integrative Psychotherapy. This is the last in a three-part interview where Mark explains the difference between integration and eclecticism, why integration is about co-building a relationship between therapist and client and how integration is…
Recently Dr Simon Cassar interviewed integrative psychotherapist and co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy Mark Vahrmeyer on the question of ‘What is Integrative Psychotherapy. This is the second in a three-part interview where Mark explains the difference between integration and eclecticism, why integration is about co-building a relationship between therapist and client and how integration is…
Recently Dr Simon Cassar interviewed integrative psychotherapist and co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy Mark Vahrmeyer on the question of ‘What is Integrative Psychotherapy. This is the first in a three-part interview where Mark explains the difference between integration and eclecticism, why integration is about co-building a relationship between therapist and client and how integration is…
Object relations theory describes the development, structure and functioning of the human psyche. Although evolved from ideas earlier in the 1900’s, it came to fruition with British psychoanalytic thinking and practice in the 1940s and 50s. Its most notable proponent was Child Psychotherapist Melanie Klein, but further developed by others such as Ronald Fairbairn, Donald…
Over two blogs I have focussed on one area of sibling relationships, namely rivalry. In part 1, I looked at some aspects of sibling rivalry as they can surface in childhood. In part 2, I will suggest how these might impact on ongoing struggles in adult life, before suggesting ways in which problematic issues with…
The importance and role of sibling rivalry Siblings are the longest standing relationships in most of our lives. As we grow older they increasingly serve to keep a connection to our families of origin, reminding us of our parents and our younger selves. Most of us share genetic material and family histories with our…
Most of us, at one time or another, have avoided groups. Whether it was not attending a party, preferring to stay at home and watch TV after a long week or finding a reason not to go to that meeting at work because it always makes us feel uncomfortable. When I suggest to a client…
Psychotherapy is many things, but on a fundamental level it is about the integration of split-off parts of ourselves. This cannot be achieved without the integration of psyche and soma (body), which is the function of the mind. We need the mind of another to grow a mind and this is what happens in the relationship…
Take the following situation: a client seeks psychotherapy to deal with anxiety and other related physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, IBS, stomach pains, etc. They are used to a solution-focused approach and can want quick answers from me. I feel rushed and pulled to meet them in their anxious place – to offer solutions,…