When you begin therapy you enter into a particular (perhaps peculiar) type of relationship, one with well-defined boundaries and ethics. Beyond its method and structure, at the very heart of this relationship lies empathy. As a therapist empathy means doing all you can to understand your client from inside their own experience. It requires an…
Therapy is often called a ‘talking therapy’ but what is talking exactly? Generally speaking, what someone says is what therapists consider and explore in session. Body psychotherapies are often the exception because language and thought are understood as different aspects of being in and as the body. The rise of mindfulness-based therapies that explore therapeutic…
Social unconsciousness is a term used by Earl Hopper to describe the effect of living in a world where we are connected by our common histories, culture and social, political and economic environment. But how does this affect us? With so much taking place in our ever-changing world, this has a place in our experiences…
On the face of it, a process that is long-term, happens at the same time, on the same day, each week, would seem to be in stark contrast to modern life. We are promised, and expected to subscribe to, a world where our wants and needs can be met almost instantaneously, where we can have…
When it comes to therapy, the therapist you choose can be the difference between getting the most out of your therapy and getting nothing out of your therapy. Having a therapist whom you feel comfortable opening up ensures you can talk about your issues in a safe space enabling you to overcome challenges faster. Brett…
When most people hear the words ‘mental health’ perhaps what they are most likely to think of is mental difficulties, or mental ill-health. I always think it’s such a shame that ‘mental health’ has these negative connotations, whereas just the word ‘health’ doesn’t seem to. I am a big believer in being proactive about mental…
Anyone who has been in psychotherapy proper will tell you that it can be hard work. First, you find yourself telling a complete stranger about the most intimate parts of your life. Things you may never have said out loud because they were too painful to admit, even to yourself. Then something unexpected happens. Many…
When do you think these difficulties started? It is important to recognise when things began to change. On the other hand you might realise that to some extent it has always been like this but it is only now that you recognise that. Think back to the time when things began to change what else…
Following on from the post featuring Andrew Robinson’s photographs of the rooms at Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, I want to think about the objects in the room in which therapy takes place. “Both room and house are psychological diagrams that guide writers and poets in their analysis of intimacy.” (Bachelard, 1958/1994:38). This implies we have…
A central idea of relational psychotherapy is that our thoughts, feelings and behaviours (healthy and unhealthy) are directly related to our interpersonal relationships. Relational therapy is therefore about our self-with-other experience. We are all creatures of familial, social and political contexts, continuously formed (and forming) through our interactions with others. Relational therapy can be an…
I have previously written about women and the menopause, I am now turning my attention to men, sex and aging in a heterosexual context. Research indicates sexual activity declines with age however as we see older people being portrayed as healthy, attractive and vigorous, we are more likely to acknowledge this age group as sexually…
Mark Vahrmeyer was recently approached by Viva Lewes for an interview on ‘Mending the Mind. Below is a scanned copy of the full interview:
Babies are not born with the neurological capacity to understand distress, or even to differentiate between discomfort and mortal danger. To ensure their survival therefore, babies are biologically programmed to communicate all forms of distress to their primary caregivers through very primitive means (e.g. crying, screaming and reaching out). Under ideal circumstances, these ‘signals’ from…
Perhaps it seems odd to you to even think of emotions having an intrinsic value, isn’t it all rather cold and controlling. However, alongside purchasing a house, a car or other valuable object our relationships will need energy and investment of time to make them work well. So in the next twelve months, wherever you are…
We are looking to grow our practice and are interested in hearing from UKCP registered psychotherapists and psychologists who may wish to join us as we expand. Check out our advert going out in the latest edition of New Psychotherapist this month:
During Brexit, there was a lot of talk about how it divided our country. So we thought we would discuss how humans are divided and how Psychotherapy can ease some of the conflicts we have with ourselves and others. A personal ‘split’ can happen when we think or act in a way that doesn’t align…
This is the first in a series of blog posts about couples therapy. In this post I want to talk about what Mary Morgan from Tavistock Relationships calls a ‘couple state of mind’. Why if our partner is ‘right’ for us don’t they understand us completely? There are limits to how much we can ever…
Our decisions navigate us through, and throughout, our lives. This blog is not intended to be a comprehensive explanation about decision making, neither is it a guide for how to make better decisions. I simply offer some thoughts about what I see as some of the reasons that decision-making can feel hard or even painful….
This piece is written by a ‘fictional’ client who is a composite of three real-life clients who have shared their experience of psychotherapy with me. Some details have been changed to ensure confidentiality, however, the thoughts feeling and experiences expressed are those of three very real clients: When I came to psychotherapy I did not…
Cultural context We are at a particular moment in our cultural and political narratives of relationship and identity where democracy itself seems under threat. The assertion in some spheres of the perceived “right” to not be offended is at odds with the right (principle) of free speech in which there is always a risk of…