Following on from the post featuring Andrew Robinson’s photographs of the rooms at Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, I want to think about the objects in the room in which therapy takes place. “Both room and house are psychological diagrams that guide writers and poets in their analysis of intimacy.” (Bachelard, 1958/1994:38). This implies we have…
A central idea of relational psychotherapy is that our thoughts, feelings and behaviours (healthy and unhealthy) are directly related to our interpersonal relationships. Relational therapy is therefore about our self-with-other experience. We are all creatures of familial, social and political contexts, continuously formed (and forming) through our interactions with others. Relational therapy can be an…
I have previously written about women and the menopause, I am now turning my attention to men, sex and aging in a heterosexual context. Research indicates sexual activity declines with age however as we see older people being portrayed as healthy, attractive and vigorous, we are more likely to acknowledge this age group as sexually…
Mark Vahrmeyer was recently approached by Viva Lewes for an interview on ‘Mending the Mind. Below is a scanned copy of the full interview:
Babies are not born with the neurological capacity to understand distress, or even to differentiate between discomfort and mortal danger. To ensure their survival therefore, babies are biologically programmed to communicate all forms of distress to their primary caregivers through very primitive means (e.g. crying, screaming and reaching out). Under ideal circumstances, these ‘signals’ from…
Perhaps it seems odd to you to even think of emotions having an intrinsic value, isn’t it all rather cold and controlling. However, alongside purchasing a house, a car or other valuable object our relationships will need energy and investment of time to make them work well. So in the next twelve months, wherever you are…
We are looking to grow our practice and are interested in hearing from UKCP registered psychotherapists and psychologists who may wish to join us as we expand. Check out our advert going out in the latest edition of New Psychotherapist this month:
During Brexit, there was a lot of talk about how it divided our country. So we thought we would discuss how humans are divided and how Psychotherapy can ease some of the conflicts we have with ourselves and others. A personal ‘split’ can happen when we think or act in a way that doesn’t align…
This is the first in a series of blog posts about couples therapy. In this post I want to talk about what Mary Morgan from Tavistock Relationships calls a ‘couple state of mind’. Why if our partner is ‘right’ for us don’t they understand us completely? There are limits to how much we can ever…
Our decisions navigate us through, and throughout, our lives. This blog is not intended to be a comprehensive explanation about decision making, neither is it a guide for how to make better decisions. I simply offer some thoughts about what I see as some of the reasons that decision-making can feel hard or even painful….
This piece is written by a ‘fictional’ client who is a composite of three real-life clients who have shared their experience of psychotherapy with me. Some details have been changed to ensure confidentiality, however, the thoughts feeling and experiences expressed are those of three very real clients: When I came to psychotherapy I did not…
Cultural context We are at a particular moment in our cultural and political narratives of relationship and identity where democracy itself seems under threat. The assertion in some spheres of the perceived “right” to not be offended is at odds with the right (principle) of free speech in which there is always a risk of…
The term ‘mindfulness’ is much spoken about these days, especially in relation to mental health and wellbeing. But what does it really mean? Mindfulness generally relates to a meditation practice that has its origins in Buddhism. It is thought that the Buddha was practicing mindfulness when he gained enlightenment, and it is one of the…
Starting psychotherapy can be a daunting prospect. Researching the right psychotherapist; making contact; booking the appointment; finding the practice; waiting in the waiting room; and then…. you are invited in. You enter and sit down. Water is on the table. Perhaps you help yourself as you are suddenly unexpectedly thirsty. Or perhaps, unconsciously, the thirst…
Thank to ever increasing demand for our services, we are now looking to expand our in-house team of associates as well as set up a wider network of trusted psychotherapists we can refer to. Established in 2008 and re-branded in 2014, Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a practice offering high-quality psychology and psychotherapy to residents…
Studies of happy marriages find that anger and criticism are expressed rather than repressed. However the way that they are expressed matters. Most of us are uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generate rejection and everyone hates rejection. More often than not criticizing and complaining create a climate of negative energy…
In this blog, I want to briefly outline some of the reasons I like working with adolescents and what are perhaps some of the key struggles faced by adolescents, their carers’ and those who work with or alongside them. One of the most famous depictions of adolescents’ in my memory is probably Kevin, of Kevin…
We live in a complex world which, for the most part, seems to demand that we achieve certain things to ‘be someone’ and have a successful and happy life. These ‘certain things’ are the obvious trappings of society – having a good education, getting that well-paid job or rewarding career, finding that perfect relationship, having…
On my way into work the other day I happened to be listening to the radio when a program called “Inside Science” was playing. The theme for the program was “Alien Minds”. A man called Peter Godfery–Smith was talking about his book “Other Minds”. He described how we assume the existence of a central nervous…
The Man’o’Pause Much has been depicted of the male ‘mid life crisis, most of it mocking. However in my experience as a Psychotherapist, I wholly agree with author Marian Keyes, who notes, “no one really goes through a midlife crisis without experiencing real despair, real fear and real soul-searching about ‘what have you done with…