‘Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways’. This quote, widely attributed to Freud, is both simple and profound in context. With this statement, Freud (if they are indeed his words) is defining one of the pillars of psycho-analysis and psychotherapy – to uncover repressed and…
For those of you that don’t know, Love Island is a British ‘reality television’ concept that has become a global phenomenon. Arguably deriving from the first global reality programme, Big Brother, which launched in 1997 it is the latest incarnation of this genre. The premise is one whereby a group of (young, physically attractive) singletons…
The onset of national lockdowns in early 2020 (and subsequent restrictions) have made working from home the ‘new normal’. What was once seen as an ideal for many, free from commuting and office politics, suddenly became an enforced reality for all of us. Our homes, which were previously separate, became our place of work, schoolroom…
When people come into therapy it is usually with the wish or hope for something to change. If not, they want help with adapting or stabilising following a major change. It is a paradox that change is such a constant in our lives. As we age our bodies inevitably change and if nothing else this…
Referring back to my previous blog – Children and young people with Executive Functioning Difficulties need us to: Accept that they have gaps and delays in these skills. Learn, by spending time with them and observing, which Executive Function Skills need scaffolding and practice. Support by being the air-traffic controller when a child can’t do…
Stuck at home I don’t always want to chat with friends and family or listen to any more news, podcasts or watch TV drama or read a book. Yet I want to be taken out of myself. I want to be elsewhere and with my own thoughts at the same time. Being engaged in an…
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a widely recognised form of modern counselling and psychotherapy, originally conceived by Eric Berne in the 1950’s and which is now used not only in therapy but also in education and organisational training and consultancy. It is a theory of personality, behaviour and communication, and draws on tools and methodology from…
I don’t know about you, but I have been riding the Covid-19 emotional roller coaster since March 2020 with very little roadmap, whilst trying to guide those who I work with like “the blind leading the blind”. I also see my own psychotherapist and supervisers in the exact same boat. They are supposed to know…
Executive functions are the cognitive skills we use to control and regulate our thoughts, emotions and actions to achieve goals. These three main areas of executive function work together: Self-control/ inhibition – the ability to resist doing something distracting/ tempting in order to do what’s needed to complete a given task, helping us to pay…
I am writing a follow on from the wonderful blog written by Gerry Gilmartin back in August. 6 months on and here we are again, facing new Covid-related challenges with more restrictive measures in place, more infections and more deaths. The theme of Gerry’s blog revolves around fear and hope, and how to work with…
In my last blog I wrote about goals for change and linking these to our values. When someone decides to come into therapy it is often because they would like to make changes and it can help to set goals as a means of knowing when these changes have been achieved. Given this is a…
Many people who engage in therapy will often ask for advice on managing anxiety, their relationship situation, what to do about a tricky work situation or even just general life advice. However, what a lot of clients are really asking for is reassurance on their decision. For many clients who come to us looking for…
There is a lot of talk about how Covid-19 and the resulting lockdown cycles are causing a mental health crisis in the UK. This blog aims to unpack and list some of the reasons why the response to the pandemic is also causing a mental health epidemic amongst us. This year has been very hard…
The family is our first social group. It is the crucible in which our passions are born and our capacities to love and to live are shaped – and misshaped. The family imbues its members with its own specific culture, habits and attitudes. As an organism, it too is shaped by the cultural moment and…
Here I reflect, a little, on a few of Nietzsche’s words on and as the body. These reflections are not conclusive or comprehensive. The only agenda is inspired by Nietzsche, to perhaps stimulate the reader’s curiosity and desire to experiment and explore. Please do read my previous article – ‘Why read Nietzsche?‘ “The body is…
This blog is a re-post with some further reflections in it to account for not only Christmas is a challenging time, but that Christmas during a pandemic may be a particularly challenging time. Original blog post from 25 December 2017: Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There…
This blog was originally posted in 2015 in the lead up to Christmas. As this Christmas period is particularly challenging for so many due to the Covid-19 pandemic, I am reposting it with further thoughts on how you can get through this holiday period: This time of year can evoke a range of feelings in…
We all have key figures in our lives, people who either held or hold great importance because of their positive impact on our professional and personal lives. They may have been people who we are either personally or professionally connected to, such as parents, siblings, friends, family members, or teachers, bosses, coaches, therapists and work…
“What we cannot hold we cannot process, what we cannot process we cannot transform, what we cannot transform haunts us. It takes another mind to help us heal ours. It takes other minds and hearts to help us grow and re-grow the capacities we have to transform suffering.” Joseph Bobrow I would like you to…
As well as working privately, I work within an NHS IAPT Service providing psychological therapy for depression and anxiety disorders and when a client comes into therapy, one of the first things we discuss is goals for treatment. What is it the client is hoping to change by the end of treatment? Is there anything…