The name ‘Slow Open Group’ was adopted to reflect the nature of the psychological process of opening ourselves to our collective experience in our families, culture and social milieu. Slow, because it takes time, Open because people will come and go over time as they do in our lives. The global pandemic has demonstrated, in…
In this blog I will briefly discuss avoidant attachment strategies and how what can look like independence is actually a sort of suit of armour designed to protect and hide a locked box of vulnerability and need, preventing mutual dependency and intimacy. The person who has developed the avoidant strategy has done so in order…
Is it too late to consider going into therapy once we reach a certain age? As I walked through the gardens on an early spring morning, this was the question going through my mind. I intended to get down to writing this blog, an unfamiliar task, when I got back to my office. We seem…
In this and other blogs I try and describe and discuss what it is like being in a therapy group. Here, I focus on the phenomenon of mirroring in groups which is an important group analytic concept, process, and experience. Mirroring and Early Development To understand why mirroring is important in any therapy, it is…
How do we bring to mind what is unconscious? Is it important to make this journey? These two questions are central to the therapeutic process of psychological therapy. When we are young we depend on our primary carer’s usually our parents, to hold and contain our emotional needs. In childhood, none of us have a…
“Why do we like the frantic, the unmastered?” Asks Virginia Woolf, in her diaries. This is a question I also return to time and time again as I look out to sea. Feeling the disquiet holds an edge of excitement for me, there is a thrill to its wild and unknown nature. For me there…
Our capacity for intimacy as adults is widely understood to be shaped by our early relational experiences. Theorists from diverse orientations emphasise the link between early attachment patterns and subsequent adult love relationships. When our formative experience is one of loving reciprocity with our caregivers, our abilities to give and receive love freely and fully…
For the past year we have largely been confined to our homes, a lot of us working from home and only going out for regular exercise. Our social lives have been depleted, we’ve not been able to see friends and family and generally life may have become quite repetitive. As we come out of lockdown…
‘Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways’. This quote, widely attributed to Freud, is both simple and profound in context. With this statement, Freud (if they are indeed his words) is defining one of the pillars of psycho-analysis and psychotherapy – to uncover repressed and…
For those of you that don’t know, Love Island is a British ‘reality television’ concept that has become a global phenomenon. Arguably deriving from the first global reality programme, Big Brother, which launched in 1997 it is the latest incarnation of this genre. The premise is one whereby a group of (young, physically attractive) singletons…
The onset of national lockdowns in early 2020 (and subsequent restrictions) have made working from home the ‘new normal’. What was once seen as an ideal for many, free from commuting and office politics, suddenly became an enforced reality for all of us. Our homes, which were previously separate, became our place of work, schoolroom…
When people come into therapy it is usually with the wish or hope for something to change. If not, they want help with adapting or stabilising following a major change. It is a paradox that change is such a constant in our lives. As we age our bodies inevitably change and if nothing else this…
Referring back to my previous blog – Children and young people with Executive Functioning Difficulties need us to: Accept that they have gaps and delays in these skills. Learn, by spending time with them and observing, which Executive Function Skills need scaffolding and practice. Support by being the air-traffic controller when a child can’t do…
Stuck at home I don’t always want to chat with friends and family or listen to any more news, podcasts or watch TV drama or read a book. Yet I want to be taken out of myself. I want to be elsewhere and with my own thoughts at the same time. Being engaged in an…
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a widely recognised form of modern counselling and psychotherapy, originally conceived by Eric Berne in the 1950’s and which is now used not only in therapy but also in education and organisational training and consultancy. It is a theory of personality, behaviour and communication, and draws on tools and methodology from…
I don’t know about you, but I have been riding the Covid-19 emotional roller coaster since March 2020 with very little roadmap, whilst trying to guide those who I work with like “the blind leading the blind”. I also see my own psychotherapist and supervisers in the exact same boat. They are supposed to know…
Executive functions are the cognitive skills we use to control and regulate our thoughts, emotions and actions to achieve goals. These three main areas of executive function work together: Self-control/ inhibition – the ability to resist doing something distracting/ tempting in order to do what’s needed to complete a given task, helping us to pay…
I am writing a follow on from the wonderful blog written by Gerry Gilmartin back in August. 6 months on and here we are again, facing new Covid-related challenges with more restrictive measures in place, more infections and more deaths. The theme of Gerry’s blog revolves around fear and hope, and how to work with…
In my last blog I wrote about goals for change and linking these to our values. When someone decides to come into therapy it is often because they would like to make changes and it can help to set goals as a means of knowing when these changes have been achieved. Given this is a…
Many people who engage in therapy will often ask for advice on managing anxiety, their relationship situation, what to do about a tricky work situation or even just general life advice. However, what a lot of clients are really asking for is reassurance on their decision. For many clients who come to us looking for…