A question I have often either been asked or has come up up is whether the gender of the clinician matters (or should matter) to the client? The answer, as with most questions relating to the intricacies of psychotherapy is not categorically ‘yes’ or ‘no’. However, the question opens up other questions which may themselves…
Executive or Leadership coaching is nowadays widely offered in organisations. Employers know the benefits of investing in developing their leaders and employing a coach is one of the best ways of doing this. What Makes a Good Leader? Good leaders need to be self-aware, emotionally intelligent and have excellent interpersonal skills. The leaders who develop…
Freud said that there was only one rule in psychoanalysis: say whatever comes to your mind, even most importantly when you don’t want to. It is through this honesty that we listen to different parts of ourselves and start to discover our internal dynamic. Why You Should Say What You’re Thinking in Therapy Although opening…
No, I am not addressing this to women caught in the age old story of young women fearing the passing of time and the urgency of finding a partner to start a family, although this is an important fact of life. I am thinking of what questions we might need to ask ourselves before we…
In this blog I explore the concept of self care – what it means and how much time you need to consciously devote to active self care per day: it is probably less than you think! What do I mean by self care? In basic terms, self care refers to ‘looking after oneself’. Some people…
“The word itself – dyslexia – is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly” Eddie Izzard Up to one in five people are influenced by dyslexia, including me and Eddie Izzard. Our differing genetic differences inform our ability to process and learn information – however, we can also simplify difficult problems, explain them…
What a strange and disquieting time 2021 has been. We might all be advised to pause and reflect upon its impact, personally and socially, individually and collectively, locally and globally. A significant theme running throughout, it strikes me, from the family to the global stage is the ever present one of freedom and security, the…
Don’t mention politics. Or vaccinations. Or masks. It feels like we live in a time when opinions are becoming increasingly polarised. The divide between the opinion of one group, compared to that of another, can feel like an impossible divide to bridge. What is going on that makes this happen and how can we begin…
Why is it that we find it so difficult to identify the positives in ourselves and so easy to see the negatives? As human beings we seem to be programmed to be able to identify our failings, e.g. what we’re no good at, what we haven’t done or what didn’t go well. Or it might…
Of all the emotions that are difficult for couples to deal with, nothing can be quite as degrading and destructive as jealousy. Its process is one of moving its host from a place of security to one where merely a look or glance can leave the heart racing and the mind frantic, as it searches…
In 2002 an Australian journalist coined the term ‘selfie’. June 2007 saw the launch of iPhone and by 2013 the word ‘selfie’ was chosen by the Oxford English Dictionary as the ‘Word Of The Year’. Never as individuals have we been more likely to have a picture taken as we are now. An awareness of…
What is othering? Othering describes a phenomenon whereby groups of people with a certain identity are marginalised and seen as outside the mainstream or norm. Those likely to be othered are often done so on the basis of race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, class, caste, culture, disability, religion and age. Othering as a concept, alludes to…
What a job it is to raise a child! So full of difficulty, so many moving parts in the process, so much resourcefulness and energy required. Then, just when the parent takes breath to admire their creation, off goes the young adult – at times with barely a backward glance. The parents are left behind…
In living with Coronavirus we have shared (to greater and lesser degrees) in a collective experience of trauma. We have had to learn to be separate from friends and family. We have had to live, die and give birth in isolation. We have had to grieve in isolation too. The Covid virus has brought many…
Family backgrounds and values From our earliest times, we absorb the emotional systems of our family environment. As we make our way in the world we take our families with us, internalised and manifesting consciously and unconsciously in many, if not all, aspects of our lives. While the societal and cultural context of the family…
Women have a lot to be angry about. Aside from how our current political and social landscape still disadvantages women, all women inherit a long lasting legacy of the oppression and suffrage of their close female ancestors. This legacy is still intensely felt in society today, and the emotional and psychological impact still visible in…
If you haven’t heard of the phenomenon that is ‘Squid Game’ then you either have not got Netflix, or are asleep. However, for those of you who haven’t, here is an extremely brief synopsis: Squid Game is set in modern day South Korea and is a dystopian nightmare of a game whereby the wealthy and…
The historian Susan Mattern argues there is no doubt there is some value to naming menopause as a concept. It has provided women with reasons and different perspectives and interventions on what can be sometimes very distressing symptoms. However she points out that modern medicine can have a tendency to locate cause and explanation inside…
Separation or divorce are painful, difficult and time consuming processes and more so where children are involved. Few couples manage to amicably separate and sadly, this applies to couples who have a child or children together too. Although it may seem obvious, my experience is that couples who are separating and have children often fail…
I found myself being asked ‘what is the menopause?’ by a friend’s 13 year old son a few weeks ago. All the women in the room chimed in to answer. It was not surprising to me that he asked, nor was it surprising all the women answered. Interestingly I had no idea about the menopause…