Often people come to therapy in some kind of emotional pain. This might be acute or chronic or both. Understandably, they want to feel better. Sometimes, for some, this desire can feel very urgent. Reassuringly, many people find their distress dissipates with surprising speed almost as soon as they start therapy. Bringing your upset to someone who can listen and engage with it attentively and compassionately can impact quickly as a pain relief. Work can then begin in untangling the difficulties that have led to the painful situation the person finds themselves in.
For some, however, the pain stirs up so much anxiety (or, high levels of anxiety are driving it, or both) that it feels difficult to allow this process to take its course. In my experience this dynamic often manifests as a desire for solutions above all other help. These ‘solutions’ can often be seen, consciously or unconsciously, as a means of getting rid of feelings that are deeply lodged internally. What almost always accompanies the desire for a solution is the desire for it to be speedy. The ‘solution’ in this sense seems to be a quick fix that side-steps painful feelings and thoughts. Often, it seems, it is experiences and memories from the past that must be avoided.
It is of course true that some people do come with problems that can be and are addressed in a short time frame. For example, an acute experience, such as a bereavement or other kind of adult trauma, can often be simply and quickly contained and processed, providing that there is no underlying complexity created by earlier losses or traumas. Or, some people come to therapy for help with a difficult dilemma or needing help in making sense of things as they go through an upsetting experience, such as a break-up or redundancy. For young people, learning how and when to assert independence is very important and so short-term therapy, for many, can be the best intervention at this life stage. There are many, many examples where short-term work*, that has a clear aim, is the most appropriate help to offer.
However, there are also many examples where it is not.
When someone approaches me as a psychotherapist, I initially assess what they might need and if I am able to help. A key factor in working this out is deciding what seem to be the underlying traumas and complexity to their issue/s. I also ask myself to what extent (or not) is their current problem a symptom of something deeper and more complicated and/or part of an emotional pattern. Thinking about these elements contributes to my assessment about whether the problem/s may be addressed in a short time frame or may need longer term help. Sometimes, of course, I will misjudge or something changes and a long-term piece of work finds a natural conclusion early on or in short-term therapy, something emerges which indicates longer term help is needed.
Earlier in this blog I described how I see wanting a solution through therapy as potentially a defence against painful feelings. There are also other ways it is problematic. Firstly, it supposes a neatness to life that is rarely borne out. This is very much the case where emotional and relational problems are concerned. Secondly, most therapies centre on a journey of some form around self-discovery and exploration, and this process is an essential aspect of the work. Skipping steps and jumping ahead to a solution is not only often impossible but can be countertherapeutic and counterproductive.
Many of us live in a world where it has become increasingly possible to find solutions to problems quickly and this has become a valued aspect of our modern life. This has perhaps normalised an expectation that our emotional lives and difficulties should be dealt with the same immediacy and solution focus. This is of course also understandable when those problems leave us feeling distressed and overwhelmed. Some difficulties can be met within shorter time frames but, in many cases, they are manifestations of deeper, complicated and longstanding difficulties and trauma. At these times, finding a quick solution is not the answer.
* I define short-term work as anything between four to six weeks and three months.
Claire Barnes is an experienced UKCP registered psychotherapist and group analyst offering psychodynamic counselling and psychotherapy to individuals and groups at our Hove practice. She also offers couples therapy at BHP.
Further reading by Claire Barnes –
When a solution is not the answer
What happens in groups: free-floating discussion
What are the benefits of a twice weekly therapy group?
Understanding feelings of guilt
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