Who wants to be ordinary? The word has unpleasant connotations; like something that offers little that is good or substantial. And yet it is a word I often think about and return to in my clinical practice. It could even be one of the primary goals of therapy: to become ordinary. In the world today…
This blog follows on from my previous blogs – Existential Therapy and A consideration of some vital notions connected to Existential Therapies. In Existential Therapy reflecting on death anxiety would not be the same without a consideration of Heidegger. Heidegger (1927) regarded human beings as always ‘being towards death’. He asserted the significance of anticipating…
In this blog, we explore postnatal depression and summarise a classic paper by Lawrence Blum, an American psychiatric and psychotherapist. It was originally written in relation to postnatal depression in mothers, but also explores the conflicts that appear when becoming a parent and applies to fathers, same-sex couples and couples where caring for the child…
Death like birth is a one off life event. We cannot learn through our experience of either to “get it right” next time. Love on the other hand (or the act of ‘falling in love’) is an event amenable to repetition. As such it is also available for re-definition by the forces of culture –…
The way we relate to others, including our partners is complex and multi-layered. It is developed over time and although we can to an extent control what we say and do within our relationships it is more difficult to understand why we behave and feel the way we do in relation to others. One way…
Professor Richard Layard, one time ‘Happiness Tsar’, wrote, ‘in every study, family relationships, (and our close private life) are more important than any other single factor in affecting our happiness’. It’s hard to grow and feel safe and content in the world if our family stories are causing us distress and discomfort. This is especially…
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term evidence-backed therapy with a high success rate in supporting clients to move through difficulties in their relationship. This includes one or both partners who have experienced early trauma. It is shown to to be an extremely effective way of helping distressed couples strengthen their attachment bond, particularly where…
“A rich tapestry of intersecting therapeutic practices, all of which orientate themselves around shard concern: human lived experience” (1) What is existential therapy? I’m asked this a lot. I even ask myself from time to time. In some ways it could be described as an attitude held by the therapist. It is certainly, in my…
When working with couples I am often struck by how much they love each other! This may sound surprising – by definition the couples I see in my practice have come to me because their relationship is in trouble. However I rarely see couples who say they no longer love each other. In my experience…
Freud believed personality and behaviour come from the unique interaction of conflicting psychological forces that operate on different levels of awareness: the preconscious, conscious and unconscious. He believed these play an important role in behaviour. During therapy, we tap into our unconscious mind to discover more. How Therapy Works Therapy is often referred to as…
When do you think these difficulties started? It is important to recognise when things began to change. On the other hand you might realise that to some extent it has always been like this but it is only now that you recognise that. Think back to the time when things began to change what else…
I have previously written about women and the menopause, I am now turning my attention to men, sex and aging in a heterosexual context. Research indicates sexual activity declines with age however as we see older people being portrayed as healthy, attractive and vigorous, we are more likely to acknowledge this age group as sexually…