Professor Richard Layard, one time ‘Happiness Tsar’, wrote, ‘in every study, family relationships, (and our close private life) are more important than any other single factor in affecting our happiness’. It’s hard to grow and feel safe and content in the world if our family stories are causing us distress and discomfort. This is especially…
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term evidence-backed therapy with a high success rate in supporting clients to move through difficulties in their relationship. This includes one or both partners who have experienced early trauma. It is shown to to be an extremely effective way of helping distressed couples strengthen their attachment bond, particularly where…
“A rich tapestry of intersecting therapeutic practices, all of which orientate themselves around shard concern: human lived experience” (1) What is existential therapy? I’m asked this a lot. I even ask myself from time to time. In some ways it could be described as an attitude held by the therapist. It is certainly, in my…
When working with couples I am often struck by how much they love each other! This may sound surprising – by definition the couples I see in my practice have come to me because their relationship is in trouble. However I rarely see couples who say they no longer love each other. In my experience…
Freud believed personality and behaviour come from the unique interaction of conflicting psychological forces that operate on different levels of awareness: the preconscious, conscious and unconscious. He believed these play an important role in behaviour. During therapy, we tap into our unconscious mind to discover more. How Therapy Works Therapy is often referred to as…
When do you think these difficulties started? It is important to recognise when things began to change. On the other hand you might realise that to some extent it has always been like this but it is only now that you recognise that. Think back to the time when things began to change what else…
I have previously written about women and the menopause, I am now turning my attention to men, sex and aging in a heterosexual context. Research indicates sexual activity declines with age however as we see older people being portrayed as healthy, attractive and vigorous, we are more likely to acknowledge this age group as sexually…
Babies are not born with the neurological capacity to understand distress, or even to differentiate between discomfort and mortal danger. To ensure their survival therefore, babies are biologically programmed to communicate all forms of distress to their primary caregivers through very primitive means (e.g. crying, screaming and reaching out). Under ideal circumstances, these ‘signals’ from…
Perhaps it seems odd to you to even think of emotions having an intrinsic value, isn’t it all rather cold and controlling. However, alongside purchasing a house, a car or other valuable object our relationships will need energy and investment of time to make them work well. So in the next twelve months, wherever you are…
During Brexit, there was a lot of talk about how it divided our country. So we thought we would discuss how humans are divided and how Psychotherapy can ease some of the conflicts we have with ourselves and others. A personal ‘split’ can happen when we think or act in a way that doesn’t align…
This is the first in a series of blog posts about couples therapy. In this post I want to talk about what Mary Morgan from Tavistock Relationships calls a ‘couple state of mind’. Why if our partner is ‘right’ for us don’t they understand us completely? There are limits to how much we can ever…
Cultural context We are at a particular moment in our cultural and political narratives of relationship and identity where democracy itself seems under threat. The assertion in some spheres of the perceived “right” to not be offended is at odds with the right (principle) of free speech in which there is always a risk of…