What is the purpose of intimate relationships? This is a question I often ask couples who come to see me for couples therapy. Most cannot answer the question beyond the superficial. However, it is an important question to ponder: relationships are not easy for the most well-adjusted of us and so there has to be…
The exploration of sexual preference and fantasy in therapy can be a portal to our inner psychological landscape. Unlocking the unconscious logic of sexual fantasy is one way of casting a light on our internal world and of understanding the emotional and psychological difficulties that may have prompted us to seek therapy in the first…
“Social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us regulate our emotions, lead to higher self-esteem and empathy, and actually improve our immune systems. By neglecting our need to connect, we put our health at risk.” JS House, KR Landis, D Umberson (2019) Social connection can be difficult to do right now as we find…
Schools will soon have menopause on the curriculum. Largely due to the efforts of psychotherapist Diane Danzebrink and her #MakeMenopauseMatter campaign. In 2019 Education Secretary Damian Hinds confirmed menopause will become part of the Sex and Relationships curriculum for teenagers in the UK in Autumn 2020 alongside periods and pregnancy. With the recognition that menopause…
‘It’s not about making the right choice. It’s about making a choice and making it right.’ J.R. Rim Making a decision can be very difficult. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how big or small a decision is: it is the fact that one has to be made at all which engenders an anxiety that can feel…
Of all the problems presented by clients when they first attend therapy as a couple, communication difficulties are often to be found as the most pressing. However, our difficulties with communication is not just an issue within a relationship: it touches every aspect of our lives – which makes the effort of finding out how…
When Covid-19 started spreading, I didn’t instantly move away from working with people directly in the room. Up until that point I had only provided limited online sessions, usually when people moved away from the area or travelled for work. I was slightly apprehensive about that as an option. However, as things continued and lockdown…
It’s easy for psychiatry, psychology and psychodynamic psychotherapy to be confused, so in this article, we will provide definitions and distinctions between them all. As the psychodynamic model is what we do, we may be biased. However, there is research that suggests the effectiveness of therapeutic approaches is pretty equal, and that the relationship with…
In my experience, when exploring joining a therapy group, people often ask what it will be like. I thought it might be helpful to write a fictional narrative to give a flavour of the therapeutic experience of being in a group. This ‘case’ is not based on a real individual although some of the conflicts…
I feel lucky to live and work in a place where I am in contact with people of diverse cultural backgrounds. Many seek me out as a therapist to talk about their personal struggles with cultural identity and belonging. Difference is something which is deeply felt in one’s skin and bones and living in a…
I wonder how you have coped with the forced isolation imposed on all of us during the corona virus. Has the weekly hand clapping made you feel more part of your local community providing some small contact with others during the week? Or have you been part of a family meeting on Zoom or with…
“The passions, these “magnificent monsters” (Nietzsche, 1967, p. 521), can we consider them a gift in which something valuable can be learnt? Below is a consideration of the multiple, dynamic, creative and sometimes conflicting forces of energy that are often competing for dominance within us – what Fredrick Nietzsche sometimes described as ‘the passions’. Others…