How to navigate influx in a noisy world

It is possible that we have never had as much information and as many opinions available as we have now.  We can seek guidance, knowledge and understanding with incredible ease. We can also find ourselves subject to an often confusing volume of opinions.

How do we develop and maintain our sense of self, with our own opinions, when it can feel that the noise of other opinions is drowning us out?

Developing our sense of self

By nature, we’re curious and we want to make sense of what is going on in our lives. As such, we seek out information and gain knowledge. This is part of how we develop the sense of who we are and, over time, build our own sense of self. Such exploration and development is always ongoing, but are especially active in childhood. 

Our sense of self does not develop in isolation, but through our interactions with others, where our thoughts and emotions can be reflected and understood. It is fluid rather than static, and reflects a core set of beliefs which we hold individually. We are free to be both independent and connected.

What if this doesn’t happen and the development of our sense of ourselves as independent from others fails?  

This can occur if our formative experiences are such that we don’t develop a sense that we can be ourselves, express ourselves freely, and experience our own emotions.

Such developmental disruptions can happen in numerous ways, but in all cases the child may feel that they will only receive care, acceptance and love if they meet a set of implicitly or explicitly defined standards. Self-expression gives way to conformity.

One’s curiosity may be reduced, and life becomes more about responding to those around us and their opinions, without building a sense that our own opinions can be trusted or are reliable. We may please and appease others before ourselves.

The challenged self

As children, much of life is about responding to those around us. As adults, we can think and be independent, and consider that we have become ourselves. 

That part of us that hears, and maybe responds to external voices and opinions, remains present, and can reflect an awareness of ourselves. 

The volume of opinion can, however, make this feel like an ongoing challenge, particularly when views are presented as ‘right and wrong’. When we hear something often enough, we may begin to question and even believe it. 

The online presence of the perfectly curated or AI generated imagery and commentary could be seen as purely entertaining, but over time, do we become drawn into something that speaks to that part of us that can be responsive to others’ views? We may find ourselves comparing and feeling that we must conform to certain standards to be accepted. The sense of self can shift from what is known and reliable to what is defined by others. 

Back to self

It would be easy to say that limiting exposure to the places, people, websites and social media that we feel most challenge our sense of self is the answer. It is to be considered. What feels important is to reflect on the propensity to allow others’ opinions to be so influential, and finding a sense that our thoughts and feelings are reliable and that we can simply be ourselves.

Carl Jung said that it was a privilege to become who we truly are. Thinking about our relationship between our sense of self and our response to opinions brings us closer to such a privileged position.