Psychotherapy was revolutionised in the second half of the last century by the development of attachment theory, the science of human bonding and needs. I wrote about this in my BHP blog ‘Why we need a secure base’. It describes how infants who do not have their primary needs met – for comfort, warmth and love – as they grow up often face emotional discomfort and turmoil when they become adults.
Those in a stable, loving and caring framework as children can enjoy life and deal with its many challenges with equanimity and resilience. The development of attachment science was a huge leap forward in the understanding of human psychology.
Over the past thirty years, Dr Pat Crittenden, a US child psychologist, has added a new and very important dimension to this core framework. It is called the dynamic maturation model (DMM). It shows how our behaviour in adult life is shaped through adaptive responses to early experiences. If the care we are given is deficient by being avoidant of emotions, or conversely, is based on exaggerated emotional responses, then in adult life we have difficulty in coping with perceived danger and stress.
Understanding the DMM can play an important role in creating self-awareness, personal growth, and emotional wellbeing. It is a fruitful way of explaining how we can best process information, manage our emotions and form relationships.
The DMM divides our survival strategies into three broad categories:
- Type B: balanced/secure. Those who have experienced ‘good enough’ parenting – thus establishing a secure base – are able to integrate emotional and cognitive information in a balanced way. They experience the full array of emotions but can self-regulate and offer empathy to others. As a result, they form stable, caring relationships, and respond flexibly to stress.
- Type A (avoidant/cognitively biased): As a result of their upbringing, these individuals learn to inhibit the expression of their emotions and place a disproportionate weight on logic to manage their environment. This strategy usually develops in response to caregivers who discourage emotional expression, leading to self-reliance and emotional suppression. They often come across as cold and unfeeling, even though their coping strategy is based on vulnerability.
- Type C (preoccupied/emotionally exaggerated): These individuals are dominated by their emotions and persistently exaggerate their sense of fear, anger, sadness or disgust (the four primary emotions) to gain attention and reassurance. This makes them appear volatile, difficult to deal with, and unboundaried. Their strategy develops through childhood experiences where caregivers were inconsistent or unpredictable, triggering heightened emotional responses.
By identifying our own dominant strategy, we can begin to understand why we react to stress, relationships and challenges in particular ways.
Understanding relationships through the DMM
The attachment strategies outlined above play a crucial role in how we form and maintain relationships. The DMM explains why some individuals struggle with intimacy, trust, or conflict resolution:
- Avoidant individuals (type A) may struggle with vulnerability and prefer independence over deep emotional connection.
- Individuals who are preoccupied and express exaggerated emotional responses (type C) experience anxiety in relationships, fearing abandonment or rejection. This is because the volatility generated by a frequent resort to anger causes heightened friction.
- Balanced individuals (type B) are more likely to navigate relationships with confidence and adaptability.
By understanding these patterns, individuals can make conscious choices to improve their interpersonal interactions, foster healthier relationships, and address attachment-related insecurities.
The DMM and personal growth
An empowering aspect of the DMM is that it views attachment strategies as dynamic and plastic rather than fixed. Unlike traditional attachment models, which often label people as permanently secure or insecure, the DMM acknowledges that strategies evolve based on life experiences and the exercise of personal agency. This means that personal growth is always possible. For example:
Individuals who recognise their avoidant tendencies (type A) can work on embracing emotions and allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Those with preoccupied/emotionally exaggerated strategies (type B) can practice balancing emotions with logical thinking, reducing emotional tension. Anyone can develop greater flexibility in responding to stress, thereby improving their emotional resilience.
Therapeutic approaches based on the DMM can help individuals adapt their strategies to become more balanced and effective in navigating relationships and challenges.
The DMM in everyday life
Understanding one’s attachment strategy through the DMM has practical benefits in daily life. It can improve:
- Communication: Recognising one’s own biases in processing information leads to clearer and more effective communication.
- Emotional regulation: Developing awareness of how emotions influence behaviour facilitates better self-control and stress management.
- Decision-making: By balancing emotional and logical processing, individuals can make more rational and informed decisions.
- Conflict resolution: Recognising attachment-driven reactions in conflicts helps people respond rather than react, leading to healthier outcomes.
Overall, the DMM is a powerful tool for generating self-understanding and personal development. By explaining how attachment strategies shape behaviour, emotional processing, and relationships, it provides a framework for individuals to recognise their behavioural patterns and make conscious changes. Unlike traditional attachment theory, the DMM offers a growth-oriented perspective, emphasising that attachment behaviours are adaptive and can evolve over time. By applying the insights of the DMM, individuals can
develop healthier relationships, regulate emotions more effectively, and navigate life with greater resilience and self-awareness.
Further reading: The DMM is described in more detail on Dr Crittenden’s main website The Family Relations Institute
David Keighley is a BACP Accredited counsellor/psychotherapist offering short and long term therapy to individuals and couples using a variety of techniques such as EMDR, CBT and Schema Therapy. He is also a trained clinical supervisor. He is available at our Brighton & Hove Practice.
Further reading by David Keighley –
How therapy can help with anger issues
