The term ‘affect regulation’ is one that I have written about previously and one that is increasingly used in the world of applied psychology and neuroscience. It can be a very useful term for bringing together psychology, biology and in explaining why good psychotherapy works, so read on! What is regulation? We all regulate (manage)…
It is not unusual for prospective or current clients in psychotherapy to ask, “What is the point of me remembering that and feeling sad, upset, angry (insert whichever uncomfortable emotion comes to mind)?” And even when not posed directly, the question plays in the unconscious through resistance in the therapy and a quick shift of…
Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA) described it as ‘a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and change’. In Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy, we adopt the philosophical principles that: – People are fundamentally OK, even if they sometimes behave in not-OK ways; – Everyone (with rare exceptions) has the capacity to…
Every psychotherapist has a view on what therapy is and how they practice. As I write this blog, I am drawn to my bookshelf filled with tomes by both historical and modern clinicians, detailing precisely how to practice this art that is psychotherapy. Having recently commissioned a set of videos introducing Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy…
We all have bad habits. Some are fairly innocuous and others, at the extreme, can develop into behavioural addictions. Many of us try our hardest to break bad habits, but end up failing miserably. There is a particular time of year – New Year’s – when many of us set out to ‘turn over a…
Attachment theory is something I draw on a lot in my practice. However, unlike psycho-analytic theory, the concepts are relatively simple. Simply put, attachment theory describes how we respond to relationships. There are broadly four different styles (or, as I prefer to think of them – adaptations) of attachment: secure; avoidant, ambivalent; and disorganised. Briefly,…
Anger management is a common term used in working with clients with anger issues. Even Hollywood has capitalised on the term as a title for a movie, which unsurprisingly was directed at a largely male audience. At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy we offer work on ‘anger management’, however, what this actually comprises may well be…
There is a lot of wisdom in sayings that have been part of our language and culture for as long as we can remember. For example, being ‘on the back foot’, meaning to be at a disadvantage or on the defensive, is a perfect expression of how our relationship to our body influences how we…
Judith Herman (1992), writes: “Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force. Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning” Although Herman’s book was written more than twenty years ago, and findings…
Like many of us, at the end of each year I like to take some time to reflect on the past year and also look to the year ahead for changes and improvements I’d like to make in the personal and professional areas of my life. The beginning of a new calendar year can be…
This time of year can evoque a range of feelings in most of us. Whilst some of us may have a festive and positive outlook on Christmas and look forward to spending time with friends and family, for many it is a time filled with conflicting emotions. Some of us have difficult memories associated with…
Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy started after Mark and I decided it was time to get our own premises. Finding the right work environment wasn’t easy. We spent years practicing from other clinics, never quite satisfied with the therapy rooms we used. Although, arguably, good therapy work can take place almost anywhere. A warm and welcoming…
In our last blog, entitled ‘The Pyramid of Change’, we introduced the concept (and paradox) that in order to achieve results (change) the locus of attention needs to begin not with change but with the felt sense in the body. How can we facilitate this? Counsellors and psychotherapists are taught to ask one particular question,…
Counselling and psychotherapy is about change. Whether that is a fundamental change in how we experience ourselves in the world, or in working through a difficult emotion and changing how we are feeling. Everybody who enters into a process of therapy is seeking change of some kind. There are a myriad of books written about…
Counsellors and psychotherapists can be very good at suggesting to clients to start to develop compassion for themselves, stop destructive behaviours and to learn to self-care. This is, after all, part of their job. However, how high a priority is their own self-care? How can clients assess whether their therapist is able to appropriately self-care…
After some well earned time off over August, it had been my intention to write a blog on self care for psychotherapists. However, as with all best laid plans, a more pressing topic has come to the forefront our of minds with the recent Shoreham (near Brighton) air crash which resulted in the tragic deaths…
My heart is racing and I feel constantly under threat, even though there is nothing to fear. Emotionally it is like I’m in a war zone, ready to defend or attack, even though it’s peaceful here. I look over my shoulder, tense up with certain sounds. I’m scared for my life and for the life…
Were you to ask a group of clinicians (counsellors or psychotherapists) to define the purpose of therapy , you will likely get a set of quite different answers based in a large part on the lens (modality) through which each clinician views mental health and their approach. One would hope to find some degree of…
Starting a process of counselling or psychotherapy can be daunting. It is also a significant commitment. And just as we are paradoxical in other areas of our lives, we are paradoxical when it comes to therapy; part of us wants to embrace change and another part doesn’t. So how can you get the most…
When clients first present for counselling or psychotherapy at my practice in either Brighton and Hove or Lewes, I generally always ask them what they would like to get from our work; how will they know that what we have done has been worthwhile for them? The answer to this can give the work important…