Category: Child development

How do I become more assertive?

Ask any psychotherapist what the goal of therapy is and you will likely get a slightly different answer. However, I would suggest that assertiveness is a core aspect of the work – allow me to explain. Assertiveness is relational in context. We can and need courage to go forth in life but assertiveness is only…

The adult survivor of neglect and abuse – lifelong considerations

Children who have been neglected and/or abused live to one degree or another with a lifelong legacy which can impact every aspect of their lives. Depending on the severity of abuse and neglect, the impact on the relationship with self and others will be significant and show up in many ways. I have written previously…

The psychological impact on children who grow up in cults

I have just watched the latest Netflix docu series “How to Become a Cult Leader?” and was pleased to see that images of the cult I grew up in appear in it with frequency, because it means it is undoubtedly and widely recognised as a cult. Familiar images of the cult leader doing “energy darshans”…

The First 5 Years

One of the most profound experiences we can have is to become a parent. If you had a good experience of growing up in a happy home where your needs were considered important, you felt secure, this is the best preparation for becoming a parent yourself. However, life is not quite as easy as that…

Thinking about Dyslexia Differently

“The word itself – dyslexia – is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly” Eddie Izzard Up to one in five people are influenced by dyslexia, including me and Eddie Izzard. Our differing genetic differences inform our ability to process and learn information – however, we can also simplify difficult problems, explain them…

What is ‘othering’ and why is it important?

What is othering? Othering describes a phenomenon whereby groups of people with a certain identity are marginalised and seen as outside the mainstream or norm. Those likely to be othered are often done so on the basis of race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, class, caste, culture, disability, religion and age. Othering as a concept, alludes to…

When it comes to parenting, are you a builder or a gardener?

What a job it is to raise a child! So full of difficulty, so many moving parts in the process, so much resourcefulness and energy required. Then, just when the parent takes breath to admire their creation, off goes the young adult – at times with barely a backward glance. The parents are left behind…

Using empathy to re-build connection with children and young people

This last year of global pandemic has been a time of massive disruption to almost everyone. With it has come disconnection in various forms and the challenge of reconnecting at points when restrictions have lifted. Children and young people have faced their own particular challenges with school closures preventing contact with peers and friends, in…

Executive Function (part 2): Ideas for Supporting Thinking Skills Development in Children

Referring back to my previous blog – Children and young people with Executive Functioning Difficulties need us to: Accept that they have gaps and delays in these skills. Learn, by spending time with them and observing, which Executive Function Skills need scaffolding and practice. Support by being the air-traffic controller when a child can’t do…

Executive Function Skills (part 1) – What They Are And Why Some Children Struggle With Them.

Executive functions are the cognitive skills we use to control and regulate our thoughts, emotions and actions to achieve goals. These three main areas of executive function work together: Self-control/ inhibition – the ability to resist doing something distracting/ tempting in order to do what’s needed to complete a given task, helping us to pay…

Helping children to ride the waves of big emotions

Quite a few people this week have asked me about tips for supporting children at times of high emotional stress (e.g. anger, rage or anxiety). For this reason, I thought I would share with you some generic pointers for parents that I use in clinic, but which could apply to most children. These are predominantly…

Helping Children With Loss Through Story Books

Children, like all of us, encounter loss in their lives, temporary and permanent. They may lose a treasured possession, a loved one who dies, a parent who leaves or is imprisoned, a friend who moves away, or a valued teacher in the transition between year groups or schools. Some are unlucky enough to lose their…