Is there an expectation that we will not have uncomfortable emotions? To have different emotions is to be human. Life is about feeling emotions. We notice our emotions and label them. Emotion is normal, we have to feel it to get past it. How we look at things and process information is based on our…
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. These lines open Philip Larkin’s best-known poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. I still remember our English…
Poets and artists have an uncanny knack for connecting our hearts and minds. In many ways this is also the project of psychotherapy; in any application of the underlying science it too becomes an art. Rarely do people enter therapy in search of theories, rather they want their experience, often painful, addressed. Dealing with the…
Ask any psychotherapist what the goal of therapy is and you will likely get a slightly different answer. However, I would suggest that assertiveness is a core aspect of the work – allow me to explain. Assertiveness is relational in context. We can and need courage to go forth in life but assertiveness is only…
Children who have been neglected and/or abused live to one degree or another with a lifelong legacy which can impact every aspect of their lives. Depending on the severity of abuse and neglect, the impact on the relationship with self and others will be significant and show up in many ways. I have written previously…
I have just watched the latest Netflix docu series “How to Become a Cult Leader?” and was pleased to see that images of the cult I grew up in appear in it with frequency, because it means it is undoubtedly and widely recognised as a cult. Familiar images of the cult leader doing “energy darshans”…
One of the most profound experiences we can have is to become a parent. If you had a good experience of growing up in a happy home where your needs were considered important, you felt secure, this is the best preparation for becoming a parent yourself. However, life is not quite as easy as that…
“The word itself – dyslexia – is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly” Eddie Izzard Up to one in five people are influenced by dyslexia, including me and Eddie Izzard. Our differing genetic differences inform our ability to process and learn information – however, we can also simplify difficult problems, explain them…
What is othering? Othering describes a phenomenon whereby groups of people with a certain identity are marginalised and seen as outside the mainstream or norm. Those likely to be othered are often done so on the basis of race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, class, caste, culture, disability, religion and age. Othering as a concept, alludes to…
What a job it is to raise a child! So full of difficulty, so many moving parts in the process, so much resourcefulness and energy required. Then, just when the parent takes breath to admire their creation, off goes the young adult – at times with barely a backward glance. The parents are left behind…
This last year of global pandemic has been a time of massive disruption to almost everyone. With it has come disconnection in various forms and the challenge of reconnecting at points when restrictions have lifted. Children and young people have faced their own particular challenges with school closures preventing contact with peers and friends, in…
Referring back to my previous blog – Children and young people with Executive Functioning Difficulties need us to: Accept that they have gaps and delays in these skills. Learn, by spending time with them and observing, which Executive Function Skills need scaffolding and practice. Support by being the air-traffic controller when a child can’t do…