Stress is caused by an existing stress-causing factor or stressor. Stress can be ‘routine’, related to everyday activities or ‘sudden’, brought about by a change or transition, or ‘traumatic’, in relation to an overwhelming event. During stressful events our adrenal glands release adrenaline, a hormone which activates the sympathetic nervous system, our body’s defence mechanism…
When children feel helpless, angry, or scared for long periods of time, it can be remembered in their bodies. This is particularly so in the case of trauma, whereby specific (trauma-implicated) body parts may start to feel somewhat disconnected to the rest of the body (e.g. headaches, neck pain, stomach aches, back spasms, etc.). Body…
One of the most frequently asked questions put to me in clinic, is why some children do not respond to traditional reward/punishment based behavioural strategies. The answer is simple – because, contrary to popular opinion, these strategies do not work for all children in all situations. This is because the ability to make a mental…
In Educational Psychotherapy (1), I explain how Educational Psychotherapy first evolved and how, as an approach, it can help promote social and emotional development as well as the thinking skills required for learning. This was illustrated through the aspects of a child’s first six months in therapy. Here, I highlight three areas of further progress…
How do we contain our children’s anxiety in such uncertain times, when we too feel anxious and unsure ourselves? When children are nervous we may notice them continually searching for reassurance – the usual advice would be to acknowledge this but keep reassurances to a minimum, modelling to them that fundamentally the adults in their…
When talking to young children, most people know that ‘open’ as opposed to ‘closed’ questions are helpful. That is, questions that cannot easily be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” answer and invite the child to give more information. These questions typically start with “who..?”, “where…?”, “what…?” and “how…?”. What many people don’t realise,…
Educational Psychotherapy was developed by Irene Caspari in the 1970s, an Educational Psychologist working at the Tavistock Clinic in London. She was interested in understanding learning difficulties from a psychoanalytic and attachment perspective. In order to address both learning needs and emotional difficulties together, she pioneered a method of blending structured (educational) tasks and free…
Since the early 1960s, psychologists have been interested in the relationship between parenting and the emotional, social and behavioural development of children. Of particular significance to this field of study, is the early work of psychologist Diana Baumrind and colleagues, who conducted the first longitudinal study of more than 100 preschoolers through to their adolescence,…
In this blog, we explore postnatal depression and summarise a classic paper by Lawrence Blum, an American psychiatric and psychotherapist. It was originally written in relation to postnatal depression in mothers, but also explores the conflicts that appear when becoming a parent and applies to fathers, same-sex couples and couples where caring for the child…
“Watch your plants and see what they’re telling you” (Ollie Walker, Hosta grower, Gardeners’ World, BBC2, 14.6.19). Ollie Walker has fallen in love with the diversity of Hostas and delights in watching them grow. This is some dedicated watching: the nursery he works at stock over 800 varieties. Noticing small changes in thousands of plants,…
As much as we might fight it, our own experiences of being parented, create within us blueprints or ‘internal working models’ of what it is to be a parent. These models only become fully activated when we become parents ourselves, and often take us by surprise. For instance, we may find ourselves ‘turning into’ our…
The Paradoxical Theory of Change[i] states that we can only change aspects of ourselves when we first become what we are. Likewise, in order to support children’s development, we also need first to see them for who they really are and accept where they are at. This can be a difficult thing to do. To…