The considerable volume of writing on relationships is littered with metaphors to explore the intricate connections between people. Most frequent might be images of journeys (‘we had come to a crossroads – an obstacle’, ‘it always seems uphill’); of chemistry (‘I felt the spark had gone’; of sport (‘out of my league.’ ‘own goals’); even,…
How many of us feel we don’t want to be known beyond what we present to the world and are relieved when our presentations are not tested? When we’re not found out. The poem below by the American poet Jane Hirschfield, is an uncomfortable look at our response when we read about the shameful acts…
How can an old parlour game help us reflect on the way we communicate? Quite a lot it would seem. Many of us will have played the game where we tap out the rhythm of a tune or song and ask our partner to guess the name of the piece. The challenge for the person…
This particularly influences us during infancy, childhood and adolescence. These early experiences can be activated if they have led to the development of unhelpful defenses. The lack of attunement in parental relationships can result in an infant developing an unhealthy attachment style, divorced from reality in the form of fantasy or withdrawal and detachment. This…
The name ‘Slow Open Group’ was adopted to reflect the nature of the psychological process of opening ourselves to our collective experience in our families, culture and social milieu. Slow, because it takes time, Open because people will come and go over time as they do in our lives. The global pandemic has demonstrated, in…
In this blog I will briefly discuss avoidant attachment strategies and how what can look like independence is actually a sort of suit of armour designed to protect and hide a locked box of vulnerability and need, preventing mutual dependency and intimacy. The person who has developed the avoidant strategy has done so in order…
Is it too late to consider going into therapy once we reach a certain age? As I walked through the gardens on an early spring morning, this was the question going through my mind. I intended to get down to writing this blog, an unfamiliar task, when I got back to my office. We seem…
How do we bring to mind what is unconscious? Is it important to make this journey? These two questions are central to the therapeutic process of psychological therapy. When we are young we depend on our primary carer’s usually our parents, to hold and contain our emotional needs. In childhood, none of us have a…
For the past year we have largely been confined to our homes, a lot of us working from home and only going out for regular exercise. Our social lives have been depleted, we’ve not been able to see friends and family and generally life may have become quite repetitive. As we come out of lockdown…
Referring back to my previous blog – Children and young people with Executive Functioning Difficulties need us to: Accept that they have gaps and delays in these skills. Learn, by spending time with them and observing, which Executive Function Skills need scaffolding and practice. Support by being the air-traffic controller when a child can’t do…
Stuck at home I don’t always want to chat with friends and family or listen to any more news, podcasts or watch TV drama or read a book. Yet I want to be taken out of myself. I want to be elsewhere and with my own thoughts at the same time. Being engaged in an…
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a widely recognised form of modern counselling and psychotherapy, originally conceived by Eric Berne in the 1950’s and which is now used not only in therapy but also in education and organisational training and consultancy. It is a theory of personality, behaviour and communication, and draws on tools and methodology from…