Author: Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy

Out of sight, out of mind

Available entertainment over the recent end of year break included the chance to laugh at the prospect of us all being killed. The climate crisis satire, ‘Don’t Look Up’ presented a mirror of our times, with scientists struggling to communicate imminent planetary annihilation by comet to a disbelieving public. This new year sees the 60th…

Compassionate Curiosity and the fundamental rule of Psychoanalysis

Freud said that there was only one rule in psychoanalysis: say whatever comes to your mind, even most importantly when you don’t want to. It is through this honesty that we listen to different parts of ourselves and start to discover our internal dynamic. Why You Should Say What You’re Thinking in Therapy Although opening…

How do I know if I am ready to become a parent?

No, I am not addressing this to women caught in the age old story of young women fearing the passing of time and the urgency of finding a partner to start a family, although this is an important fact of life. I am thinking of what questions we might need to ask ourselves before we…

Thinking about Dyslexia Differently

“The word itself – dyslexia – is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly” Eddie Izzard Up to one in five people are influenced by dyslexia, including me and Eddie Izzard. Our differing genetic differences inform our ability to process and learn information – however, we can also simplify difficult problems, explain them…

Enhancing the Positive Self

Why is it that we find it so difficult to identify the positives in ourselves and so easy to see the negatives? As human beings we seem to be programmed to be able to identify our failings, e.g. what we’re no good at, what we haven’t done or what didn’t go well. Or it might…

Facing The Green-Eyed Monster

Of all the emotions that are difficult for couples to deal with, nothing can be quite as degrading and destructive as jealousy. Its process is one of moving its host from a place of security to one where merely a look or glance can leave the heart racing and the mind frantic, as it searches…

When it comes to parenting, are you a builder or a gardener?

What a job it is to raise a child! So full of difficulty, so many moving parts in the process, so much resourcefulness and energy required. Then, just when the parent takes breath to admire their creation, off goes the young adult – at times with barely a backward glance. The parents are left behind…

Why there’s nothing as infuriating as Anger Management

As psychotherapists, we have often been asked to provide anger management. Whilst we know some people need to control their anger to prevent destructive effects on themselves and their relationships, what was then called anger management mainly consisted of breathing and cognitive techniques to control their anger. Although this worked for a lot of people,…

I Never Thought My Son Would Watch Pornography

It was a decade ago that was listening to the radio when I heard this line being spoken for the first time by a mother who was describing the time the police came to her house to enquire after certain pornographic material which had been downloaded using the family IP address. She described the early…

What makes Psychotherapy Different?

“The Patient who will not suffer pain fails to suffer pleasure.” Wilfred Bion 1970. One of the best things about being a therapist is the demand for us to stay awake and alive. There is constant training meaning our development is always a work in progress. What Makes a Psychotherapist? Psychotherapy isn’t just a profession….

Is that a fact or an opinion?

Now we are all starting to go out more and socialise again, I wanted to acknowledge how we can all experience anxious or self critical thoughts. I have noticed, when meeting up with various girlfriends recently, how we’ve all shared thoughts of feeling slightly anxious about how others are perceiving us. Due to the various…

Using empathy to re-build connection with children and young people

This last year of global pandemic has been a time of massive disruption to almost everyone. With it has come disconnection in various forms and the challenge of reconnecting at points when restrictions have lifted. Children and young people have faced their own particular challenges with school closures preventing contact with peers and friends, in…