I explored the use of pornography and its presence in society in previous blog. In thinking about pornography, there is the question of why some people might become habitual users. What part might childhood trauma play in the development of compulsive use of pornography? Trauma, attachment and anxiety The experience of trauma in formative years can…
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. These lines open Philip Larkin’s best-known poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. I still remember our English…
Transference is a complicated process and concept. This article attempts to describe it in simple terms, focussing on a basic understanding and highlighting why it is felt to be so important in analytic psychotherapies. I will end by thinking about how it can emerge and be used in both individual and group therapy. What are…
Poets and artists have an uncanny knack for connecting our hearts and minds. In many ways this is also the project of psychotherapy; in any application of the underlying science it too becomes an art. Rarely do people enter therapy in search of theories, rather they want their experience, often painful, addressed. Dealing with the…
When most of us think about the brain, we tend to associate it with thinking—solving problems, making decisions, or engaging in intellectual discussions. However, according to Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett in her chapter ‘Your Brain Is Not for Thinking’ from Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain, thinking is not the brain’s most fundamental…
In the UK, it is a requirement for trainee psychotherapists to be in weekly therapy with a senior practitioner throughout the duration of their training. However, once qualified many therapists do not continue their personal therapy beyond the therapy hours required. In this blog, I argue why it is vital for psychotherapists working at depth…
Two articles, one written by a human therapist and the other by a chatbot – can you tell which is which? Part one: The human touch: why a human therapist outshines an AI therapist In today’s rapidly evolving world, technology continues to reshape various aspects of our lives, including mental health care. With advancements in…
All forms of psychotherapy, from the classically analytical, through to humanistic, evolved from psychoanalysis and thus Freud. The cadence of psychoanalysis has changed very little over the years, with sessions taking place between three and five times per week, generally at the same time each day. Psychotherapy evolved directly from analysis but is also quite…
Sometimes it is much easier to recognise the signs of lack of self-care in other people, than it is to see it in ourselves. What do we mean by self-care? The expression sounds self-explanatory, but do we know what it involves? Most people recognise signs of depletion when they begin losing energy, passion and creativity….
On the face of it, these two words seem to have similar meanings, however, spontaneity is generally deemed a positive attribute whilst impulsivity a negative one. Why is this? If we check how the dictionary defines the act of being spontaneous, it suggests that it is an adjective used to describe someone given to acting…
We have all heard it: exercise is good for you. Exercise can help combat or improve symptoms of a wide range of health conditions from high blood pressure, cardiovascular conditions, diabetes, some cancers, depression and anxiety to name but a few. It can help prevent some of these conditions in the first place, promoting bone…
Life is disappointing. That sounds terribly negative, however, being able to tolerate and work with this reality can make the difference between success and failure. Relationships are also disappointing, but, like life, they are many other things too. Let’s delve into it. Being able to tolerate and work with disappointment is one of the hallmarks…
Often people come to therapy in some kind of emotional pain. This might be acute or chronic or both. Understandably, they want to feel better. Sometimes, for some, this desire can feel very urgent. Reassuringly, many people find their distress dissipates with surprising speed almost as soon as they start therapy. Bringing your upset to…
Transference Love is the unconscious expression of longings, desires and hopes onto a person who ‘fits’ because of who they are and who you are to them. This mutuality of hoped for experiences, combined with sexual attraction, results in a powerful combination of emotions and physical desire which we call falling in love. In simple…
People often come to therapy who are struggling with their emotional sensitivity. Feeling things deeply, they can find living in the world a challenging and sometimes painful experience. The question ‘Am I too sensitive?’ can arise, along with a wish to be less sensitive. But can we be too sensitive? Emotional sensitivity is a natural…
Since the dawn of humanity, emotions have been integral to our survival, guiding our ancestors* through a world filled with imminent threats. Fear prompted quick reactions to danger, joy encouraged behaviours that strengthened social bonds, and disgust helped prevent contact with harmful substances. These primitive emotional responses are hardwired into our brains, offering rapid, instinctual…
Having a growth mindset is a term from the business world, referring to an individual who believes that their success in a particular field is contingent on working hard, forward planning and being able to receive and implement constructive feedback from others. While it is a term that is regularly used in business, and undoubtedly…
Many stressors can impact on our emotional wellbeing such as financial pressures, time pressures, loneliness, physical health problems, insecurity of housing, insecurity of job contracts, loss, bereavement, relationship problems, work stress, family, caring for others, a trauma, adverse childhood experiences, etc. The list is endless. The build-up of these stressors can often result in mental…
What is the difference between low mood and depression? We all can experience low periods in life. This might be triggered by stressful events, being in pain or physically unwell, relationship problems, stress at work, life changes such as change of job or redundancy, a loss or a bereavement. Low mood lifts after a few…
The experience of loss and grief from bereavement are often explored in psychotherapy. Finding a way to cope and move forward, when the weight of emotion feels intense. The knowledge that life ends and how we go through the associated grief is something that is hard to prepare for. Much is written about loss and…