(Projections, roles, and polarisations in the ‘couple’ dynamic) In this article, I will think about the ways in which project into each other when in a couple relationship, often creating roles diametrically opposed to each other. As I will suggest, these dynamics are generally unhelpful and restrictive and yet the relationship can become unconsciously invested…
We are surrounded by promises of quick fixes and simple solutions to complex problems. If only there was a way to make life instantly better or make the pain go away quickly. Hence the popularity of drugs and other substances, both prescribed and illegal. Addictive behaviour is about instant gratification, a temporary fix to an…
There are quite a few reasons for people to begin therapy and continue in it for extended periods of time. Beyond some of the most commonly listed reasons such as treating anxiety and/or depression and helping with relationship issues, below are some of the reasons which take a longer-term view of some of the benefits…
What do Christmas and marriage have in common? Answer: they both come with high expectations of maximum harmony and happiness, imposing ideals that regularly confound our experience. This November a major retail chain unveiled its Christmas TV ad featuring celebrities destroying seasonal activities they appear to hate, like card-sending and party-games, to the refrain, ‘This…
Anger. We all experience it, most of us fear it in others – and also in ourselves because the process of being angry is uncomfortable and exhausting. But why do we get angry and how can psychotherapy help us deal with it more effectively? Sam Jahara has covered anger management in in other BHP blogs….
Barely a day goes by without self care and specifically mental health being talked about in the media. And with this the long-standing taboo around men’s mental health is finally dissipating and more and more men are both willing to talk about their struggles and to admit the benefits they have got from accessing psychotherapy….
Planning Retirement planning, looking ahead to a time of not working and speculating on what the next part of life might be, is part of our working world. This preparation for retiring acknowledges an approaching ending and begins the transition to a life after work. The preparation for one’s financial future often takes a central…
What is Low Self Esteem? This is when we think negatively about ourselves, we don’t feel good enough. We are likely to get into self-critical thinking, think others are better than us and blame ourselves when things go wrong. We are likely to focus on our negatives and not on our achievements, struggle to accept…
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is particularly interested in our thoughts and our behaviours. It looks at the interaction between our thoughts, feelings (moods), physical sensations, and behaviours. When we experience a triggering situation, we often notice an internal shift in how we are feeling physically and/or emotionally and we may become consumed with our thoughts. Thoughts…
Put another way, is getting anything less than 100% not acceptable to you, and a trigger for uncomfortable feelings of failure, of not being good enough, of self-criticism, self-doubt and shame? In my experience as a psychotherapist, a personal drive for perfection is often the root cause of distress in many of those seeking therapy….
Nel Tuo Tempo…….In Your Yime The artist Olafur Eliasson’s exhibition ‘Nel Tuo Tempo’ was described as addressing the ‘subjective perception and shared experience’ of a Florentine building. He did this using light, colour and shadow. Some of the twenty exhibits were complex structures, others were more about how we see the building in which the…
I have just watched the latest Netflix docu series “How to Become a Cult Leader?” and was pleased to see that images of the cult I grew up in appear in it with frequency, because it means it is undoubtedly and widely recognised as a cult. Familiar images of the cult leader doing “energy darshans”…