In Psychotherapy people learn how to reflect more on their lives, choices, behaviours and feelings. This more thoughtful and reflective mode translates into how one sees her or his world and their place within it. We learn to feel more connected to ourselves and others, and to behave in more thoughtful ways as a…
During the recent challenges brought about by Covid-19, we all had to make significant changes to our lives and adapt quickly to a new reality. This is also true for therapists and clients who shifted quickly from the safety and familiarity of their consulting rooms to video or telephone meetings. I would like to acknowledge…
Many self-employed psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors have immediately felt the economic impact of the crisis brought by Covid-19. As our clients began to either lose their jobs or face increasing economic uncertainty, many had to either put their sessions on hold or stop coming altogether. Many of us have either dropped our fees or continued…
Long-term Psychotherapy is all about leaving the family – not literally – but in the psychological sense. This is a much more complex process than it sounds. Why? Because it takes years of back and forth, and it is a journey which although slow, in my view essential for psychological health. If you were lucky…
In times such as this, I question my role as a psychotherapist wishing that I had studied something that could truly and directly help the climate and environmental crisis that we face. I feel so connected to the natural world that to see it being destroyed, disregarded and exploited to this scale, to see us,…
Anyone who is or has been in “psychotherapy proper” will tell you that it can be really hard work. First, you begin by telling a total stranger about the most intimate things in your life. Things you never even said out loud because it was all too difficult to admit to yourself, let alone…
Take the following situation: a client seeks psychotherapy to deal with anxiety and other related physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, ABS, stomach pains, etc. They are used to a solution-focused approach and can want quick answers from me. I feel rushed and pulled to meet them in their anxious place – to offer solutions,…
In this blog I share my view on how to work with a fictitious client. The “client” James, is a high achieving barrister in his mid-thirties presents with severe anxiety. He has recently started a new relationship and they are thinking of moving in together. Client background The “client” James, is a high achieving barrister…
Warning – This article contains spoilers for anyone who has not seen the movie Lady Bird. A critical success, this film about a mother and daughter relationship falls into the ‘coming of age’ genre, however it is also so much more than this in considering the systemic and unconscious processes at work that make…
The relationship between a psychotherapist and their supervisor is a very important one. Supervision is a vital place to reflect on clinical dilemmas, talk about professional issues and learn from someone more experienced. It can also be a self-care exercise. It feels good to talk to a trusted colleague about our work in a confidential…
Therapists, counsellors and anyone in the helping professions can appreciate both the rewards and hazards of their respective career choices. We can give people advice on how to care better for themselves, while at times not applying the same self-care principles to ourselves. At the worst, a lack of self-care can lead to burnout and…
Often, couples get into a loop where they employ unhelpful behavioural patterns (or survival strategies) to mask their vulnerability. This triggers a similar response in their partner, who then becomes defensive and so on. For example, one person may feel abandoned or rejected, becoming reactive and critical as a result. In response, their partner feels…